“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver
We live in a frantic world. We do not need to live frantic lives.
As a species, we have invented ways to fuel dissatisfaction and compulsion like never before. The opportunities for comparison, obsession, distraction, and avoidance are unprecedented. The result is an upward trend in anxiety, stress, and depression and a downward trend in connection, meaning, and hope.
While the world around us may be increasingly frenzied, we have a choice about what we practice daily. And what we practice makes all the difference in the quality of our lives. Even better, practicing a graceful and powerful relationship to life does not require expensive gym equipment or prescriptions with scary side effects. It does require a willingness to shift how you use your attention and energy and a willingness to begin again each time you fall into old habits.
There are five practices that I would put at the top of my list for their potential to transform your life.
Presence
Spend time in silence just noticing how you are feeling without doing anything about it. Being aware and accepting of what is going on inside you is the foundation of emotional and behavioral self-regulation. And self-regulation is one of the most important skills of well-being and social connection. Practicing presence is key to being peaceful when the world is demanding that you react to what feels urgent.
Gratitude
Think of all the people you would thank at the end of your life. Imagine yourself looking them in the eyes and giving a sincere hug of gratitude. Gratitude has a powerful impact on our outlook, our ability to deal with challenge, and our physical health. Gratitude is the antidote to holding onto resentment and petty arguments. If you really want to get the maximum effect, then actually thank the people now rather than waiting until the end of your life.
Empathy
Look around you and sense the weight of worry, responsibility, and anxiety that others are carrying. Notice the furrowed eyebrows, the wrinkled foreheads, the hunched shoulders, and the pursed lips. Everyone struggles from time to time – this is the human condition. You are not alone. You can notice the human struggle and sincerely wish for the well-being for the people around you. Send a silent wish of peace, acceptance, and love to all those who struggle – including yourself.
Kindness
Start by looking for all the minor acts of kindness that are happening around you all the time. Notice how people help others in small ways – holding doors, picking up something that dropped, letting someone go first. There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of acts of kindness in your day that go unnoticed. The next step is to look for opportunities to be kind and act on them as often as you can. Acts of kindness are good for the physical and psychological health of the giver, the receiver, and even the observer.
Awe
Look at a leaf, a butterfly, or your own hand. Where did this come from? How does it work? You are surrounded by simple objects that are so complex and unexplainable that they are nothing short of miracles. Try to explain a lemon or a cloud. Drop into the enormous reality that you are living in a world that escapes our ability to understand it at a fundamental level. Every action in your own life, no matter how mundane, is unimaginably complex. Everything in the universe effects everything else – we are inseparable. Practicing awe slows our sense of time and boosts our sense of connection to others.
Presence, gratitude, empathy, kindness, awe – practicing these things shapes your experience in the moment as well as the pathways in your brain and your relationships to others. These five simple practices are powerful enough to change your life. Most importantly, these practices are not dependent on your circumstances or what anyone else is doing -- you are free to do them anywhere and anytime. Remember, be careful what you practice, because you are going to get better at it.
Would you like a more graceful and powerful relationship to life?
Dave gives individuals and teams the tools they need to live and work peacefully, positively, and purposefully. If you are seeking greater well-being, stronger relationships, more effective communication, or healthier culture, then contact him at dave@appliedattention.com www.appliedattention.com