Survey Reveals The Big Thing Many Spouses Don't Share With Each Other

Remember the “for richer or for poorer” line that pops up in wedding vows? Turns out that for many married couples, “I do” is not the same as “I’ll tell.”

A Harris Poll online survey for NerdWallet of 1,800 couples found that many of them keep money matters ― including the details of their retirement savings ― a secret. Twenty-one percent of couples who are either married or living together didn’t have so much as a ballpark sense of how much their partner’s retirement account was worth, the study found. And the same percentage admit they’ve not shared how much they are socking away. Two in five ― 43 percent ― said they don’t consult with their partner on brokerage account trade decisions either.

So where does the reluctance to share come from? And is it intentional or simply that many of us just throw up our hands when it comes to money stuff? The poll doesn’t say. But the results should be of concern. NerdWallet quoted Kyle Ramsay, its head of investing and retirement, as saying “Studies show one of the top causes of divorce is financial disagreement. Just like marriage, your financial plan should be built to last — and that means open communication and commitment to your shared financial goals.”

The NerdWallet findings echo those of a much larger survey of couples and retirement done last year by Fidelity Investments. In that study, although 72 percent considered themselves good communicators about money matters, 43 percent didn’t know how much money their partner earned. Of that 43 percent, 10 percent were off by $25,000 or more.

Bloomberg News reported that credit-tracker Experian Plc found that even among newlyweds, “some 20 percent [of men] had secret financial accounts their partners didn’t know about, compared to 12 percent of women.”

The problem, of course, is that the closer you are to retirement, the more practical you need to be. Dreaming of a lifestyle you can’t afford won’t get you any closer to achieving it. And when it comes to retirement planning, knowledge is power. Start talking, peeps.