The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Cool things about being an adult
— Dee (@figgled) January 21, 2017
- eat chips whenever u want
- no bedtime
- tired all the time
- sad all the time
- wait a sec
Start each day with a positive thought like, "I can go back to bed in 16 or 17 short hours."
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) January 23, 2017
When the Williams sisters play each other how do we decide who to root for though? Black Girl Magic already won, so what now?
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) January 27, 2017
I'm replacing my earthquake kit with a backpack full of Xanax, vodka and puppies and calling it the Trump kit.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) January 26, 2017
Make America As Great As It Was Last Week Again
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) January 27, 2017
Thanks to Trump, I finally understand the benefits of hibernation.
— Madeline Hill (@mad_hill) January 24, 2017
Even history at this point is like "This is embarrassing."
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) January 27, 2017
I want a Netflix category like "Glamorous Older Woman Tours You Through Her Life as She Finally Gets the Recognition She Damn Well Deserves"
— Julia Carpenter 🔪 (@juliaccarpenter) January 24, 2017
Beyonce TOLD y'all to get in formation and y'all fucked around and now we're dealing with this bullshit.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) January 25, 2017
'It is now illegal to ejaculate, unless it's for reproduction' pic.twitter.com/cqhuPFw0PM
— molly-mae (@xnicorn) January 26, 2017
would it help if we sacrificed a goat
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) January 27, 2017
Grateful to Lifetime for making a Britney Spears biopic because we all need something to look forward to right about now
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) January 24, 2017
Maybe if we start calling it Father Nature the GOP will be more interested in protecting it.
— Clea DuVall (@cleaduvall) January 26, 2017
Heart Breaking News: news
— Leah Tiscione (@LeahTiscione) January 25, 2017
Sometimes my whole life is a deep side eye!
— Jasmyn Lawson (@JasmynBeKnowing) January 27, 2017
Our poor therapists must be so miserable having to talk about Trump all day.
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) January 26, 2017
In one of the more relaxed circles of Hell, you spend eternity unloading a grocery cart while a stranger behind you remarks on every item.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) January 24, 2017
Just started tapping my toe involuntarily to a Kid Rock song and then started crying because I don't know who I am anymore.
— Barbara Holm (@barbara_holm) January 24, 2017
DEAR 2016 WE'RE SORRY FOR ALL THE THINGS WE SAID ABOUT YOU WE WERE YOUNG AND NAIIVE PLZ TAKE US BACK 😫😫
— Jessica Samakow (@jsam1126) January 25, 2017
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Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
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