The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
sext: "you were right, i was wrong."
— Tracy LaFway Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) August 24, 2015
So, what I've gathered is that the best part of a Taylor Swift concert is when other people show up.
— KB (@KaraRBrown) August 27, 2015
I hope all those non-marshmallow lucky charms cereal pieces I abandoned in my youth eventually found good homes
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) August 24, 2015
IF SERENA DATES ANDRE 3000 THEN HER LOVE LIFE WILL BE THE *REAL* SERENA SLAM AND WE'LL HAVE TO MOVE TENNIS TO "OTHER WORK" ON HER WIKI PAGE
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) August 24, 2015
I don't want to make snap judgments but if you blot your pizza we are just not going to be sexually compatible.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) August 23, 2015
A Drake and Serena baby would be more powerful than anything this world has ever known. Even Blue Ivy would raise a sippy cup in respect.
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) August 24, 2015
I don’t really want a boyfriend. I just want someone to decide where I’m going to eat 3 or 4 times a week.
— Erica (@SCbchbum) August 23, 2015
I love when men tell me to relax just like I love putting my face through an incinerator
— Jillian Gutowitz (@jillboard) August 24, 2015
Ladies, never show panty lines!!!!!! It breaks the illusion that your pants are actually your skin!!!!!
— Lily Karlin (@lilykarlin) August 26, 2015
"If you can't handle me at my Blank Space, then you don't deserve me at my Wildest Dreams." -- words to be engraved on my tombstone
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) August 28, 2015
Every time I've ever tested the 5-second rule I end up eating hair.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) August 24, 2015
Kidnapper: You'll never see your family again.
Me: ...what's the wifi password?
— Slightly funny Jew (@Dani_Feld) August 22, 2015
There is no greater shame than reaching back into a gift bag after you've pulled out a gift.
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) August 27, 2015
"Be so busy you genuinely can't respond to their texts right away" — ancient Chinese proverb I just made up
— Ali Vingiano (@alivingiano) August 27, 2015
Sorry for the confusion, when I said "will you help me" I meant "can you do this"
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) August 25, 2015
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down
Maybe I'll stay here
Is this rug from ikea, it's ni
— Siobhan Thompson (@vornietom) August 25, 2015
*ruins your party with a can of Serious String*
— rachelle mandik (@rachelle_mandik) August 25, 2015
Fun prank: pick one of your friends who always forgets stuff and text, "Are you close?"
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) August 26, 2015
Shout out to all my peeps struggling through their therapist's August vacation. We can get through this.
— Naomi (@Blacktress) August 24, 2015
my day has two parts to it:
1. countdown to lunch
2. countdown to dinner
— Aude White (@audevwhite) August 25, 2015
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