The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
So Dunkin donuts is in LAX, what am I supposed to complain about now
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) May 5, 2016
Everyone on the morning train looks like their mom told them they cannot get a puppy
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 4, 2016
Women get a lot of flak for faking orgasms considering men fake emotions in order to have sex with them in order to not give them orgasms.
— erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) May 1, 2016
Someone leak footage of Donald Trump kicking a dog so this nightmare can end.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) May 5, 2016
the place where I have to go periodically to have pictures taken of the inside of my body sent me a birthday e-card, what
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) May 5, 2016
🎼making my way downtown, stealing cash, scamming fast and I'm jail bound 🎤
— Jasmine Sanders (@JasMoneyRecords) May 6, 2016
I did a workout video that promised me Victoria's Secret Angel legs but it had no instructions on inserting 5 inches of bone into my legs
— Alana Massey (@AlanaMassey) May 2, 2016
"I, too, have hot sauce in my bag" pic.twitter.com/fhoj0tAEcr
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) May 3, 2016
Y'all still plan on not voting now that Voldemort is GOP's candidate?
— Taryn Finley (@_TARYNitUP) May 4, 2016
(CLOSES TAB) pic.twitter.com/zhJvOqeUXN
— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) May 3, 2016
hey ps you don't get to feel superior for not caring about the kardashians if you have ever cried about a sports team sorry not sorry
— ktkins (@voldemortsbicep) May 3, 2016
Age 18: I am sexually attracted to talent
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) May 3, 2016
Age 28: I am sexually attracted to effort
The crazy thing about relationships is you're either going to break up or get married and both options sound terrible
— Ali V. (@alivingiano) May 4, 2016
Lol Ted Cruz "bowing out" of the presidential race is like me "bowing out" of having friends in middle school
— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) May 4, 2016
I just moved into a TJ Maxx, and I don't want any judgment about it.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) May 4, 2016
somedays you're @ilazer
— hello beautiful (@thejulielogan) May 5, 2016
somedays you're the woman she butt cheeks into the trash can pic.twitter.com/v1CjvvCKQn
you can fuck a wokeboy but can't woke a fuckboy
— Sara Schaefer (@saraschaefer1) May 5, 2016
Shouldn't #TedCruz have been forced to carry his unviable campaign to term?
— Full Frontal (@FullFrontalSamB) May 4, 2016
Brian Wilson: Honey.
— Lauren O'Neal (@laureneoneal) May 5, 2016
His wife: Don't do it.
BW: Hey, honey.
His wife: I'm serious.
BW: ........You ain't married to no average Beach Boy.
*reads nth article about why modern dating sucks*
— didi (@priya_ebooks) May 5, 2016
true... i vastly prefer 1950s-style dates where i put on a fake personality for 294 hrs