The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
There should be a dramatic detective series where people try to figure out what that one mystery light switch in your house actually does.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 24, 2016
Conversational exit strategy at party: Shake the other person's hand & say "Good game"
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 28, 2016
I am so excited for the Obamas to finally have time to binge-watch all the prestige TV from the past eight years.
— Alana Massey (@AlanaMassey) July 28, 2016
If I get married, I'd like to have Michelle and Barack read our vows.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) July 28, 2016
You can really only be sad for people who are 15 years out of high school but have personalities that remind you of a bad Daria impression.
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) July 28, 2016
Tim Kaine: The neighbor who picks up your mail/newspapers while you're on vacation even though you didn't ask.
— Kate Spencer (@katespencer) July 23, 2016
when bff compliments u in front of everyone pic.twitter.com/C9XP15X3Yc
— Julia Bush (@jabush) July 28, 2016
"All Lives Matte.... " pic.twitter.com/RW22rGqoe1
— Mrs. Old Bae (@coolminnie16) July 28, 2016
You know that when Hillary and Chelsea leave the room, Bill and Marc just share awkward silence till they both take their phones out
— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) July 29, 2016
Obama should come out with a line of Shea butter.
— Taryn Finley (@_TARYNitUP) July 28, 2016
bill: hey hill check this out
— Ingrid Ostby (@ingridostby) July 29, 2016
hillary
hey hillary
hill
hey hillary check this out
hillary look what i
hill
hillary pic.twitter.com/MAbRFW1yeY
which wine pairs best with a cold
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) July 27, 2016
Do you think Michelle Obama is Beyoncé's Beyoncé?
— Cameron Esposito (@cameronesposito) July 26, 2016
ladies, my feeling about wine charms is that if you can't keep track of your wine glass YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS DRINKING WINE
— Aminatou Sow (@aminatou) July 23, 2016
you should be able to get anesthesia when you wax any part of your body
— Deaux (@dstfelix) July 29, 2016
Some days I think about quitting my job, becoming a trucker, naming my rig "Semi Lovato" and hauling cross-country, terrifying male drivers.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) July 27, 2016
Five Guys fills a bag full of fries then puts the cup of whatever size you ordered on top of it like a hat.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) July 26, 2016
where were you when you discovered hot young Tim Kaine pic.twitter.com/o1C5R5Y4al
— Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) July 28, 2016
what if i told you that mr rogers was high the whole time pic.twitter.com/fJBdEN72hI
— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) July 27, 2016
Clinton is Likable Enough, Maybe, say men no one likes
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) July 29, 2016