The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
This year, I've decided to try & find something positive about myself each day... so here goes: I'm really good at being negative.
— Erica (@SCbchbum) January 3, 2017
Not to brag, but at least six men have described me as "terrifying."
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) January 2, 2017
This hangover is obscene yet oddly clarifying. I shall name him Donald.
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) January 1, 2017
me: I'm not eating chips in 2017
— Arielle (@jewfacekilla) January 3, 2017
chips: LOL no ur not come join us loser
me seeing that kim is back on snapchat vs me seeing that kim is back on snapchat in cornrows pic.twitter.com/tOXLHcearH
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) January 4, 2017
On a scale from 1 to 10 my PMS has reached a Lady MacBeth.
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) January 3, 2017
Q: Why does Donald Trump buy all his gifts at the airport?
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) January 5, 2017
A: Because he doesn't like to pay taxes!
You can lead a man to water but you can't give him constructive criticism about it.
— Leah Bonnema (@LeahBonnema) January 3, 2017
serious question for GOP: should i be having funerals for all my tampons
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) January 5, 2017
The only way an adult coloring book could help with my stress is if it was somehow edible.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) January 3, 2017
Shhh. Go to sleep. Everything you're worried about will still be there tomorrow
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) January 5, 2017
I'm ok with spreadsheets but I don't excel at them.
— SardonicTart™ (@SardonicTart) January 3, 2017
kicking ass at my first and only New Year's resolution to eat more cheese
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) January 6, 2017
footage of me trying to get through this week pic.twitter.com/KEORph5z0p
— Alexis Kleinman (@alexiskleinman) January 5, 2017
my mom always wonders where I get my attitude from....u homegirl, I get it from u 🙄
— ㅤㅤㅤboo (@chooses) January 2, 2017
All we women have to do is get our uteruses scientifically reclassified as guns.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) January 6, 2017
tonight i learned the hard way that if u bake cookies and u live alone u will eat all of the cookies
— Ali V. (@alivingiano) January 4, 2017
Apparently flirting with the staff at the gym is, in fact, not actually considered "working out".
— Blue Moon (@Bluestmoon_) January 6, 2017
I'm trying to help rent the apartment across the alley by hula hooping near the window when people come to take a look
— Shalyah Evans (@ShalyahEvans) January 5, 2017
In happier news, my four-year-old thinks you have to give YouTube videos thumbs up with your actual thumbs.
— Becky Albertalli (@beckyalbertalli) January 4, 2017
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Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
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