The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets Of The Week newsletter here.
There's a nap for that
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) July 17, 2017
Between A Wrinkle In Time and Doctor Who I could honestly live on the impotent white male rage for like years, who needs food
— Rachel Feltman (@RachelFeltman) July 16, 2017
me: im back on my bullshit lol
— indie (@COCONUTOILBAE) July 17, 2017
narrator: she was, in fact, never off her bullshit in the first place
Got up super early for yoga so I can spend the rest of the day bragging about getting up super early for yoga.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) July 18, 2017
Tonight, a small New York dream came true: a homeless dude looked at me and said "suck my dick, Beyoncé"
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) July 19, 2017
My to-do list today is just a bunch of things that I want to eat.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 18, 2017
i have two moods pic.twitter.com/2hvk5vgE26
— harriet pudney (@lqpharriet) July 18, 2017
What idiot called it The Sound of Music and not Nuns on the Run?
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) July 19, 2017
I've still never seen a fidget spinner in person. So I guess I've made all the correct life choices?
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) July 19, 2017
Never lie down in bed before you brush your teeth that's the wisdom I have to pass on for the ages
— Jen Doll (@thisisjendoll) July 21, 2017
I wonder if the White House has alt-fact checkers who cross out anything resembling the truth & rejigger it all better
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 20, 2017
When my editor asks where my draft is pic.twitter.com/OFuSVCOR7w
— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) July 18, 2017
I would say I have an "artistic temperament" which is to say I am "French" which is to say fuck the 40 hour work week
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 20, 2017
Lot of folks who have never cared about Dr. Who before are suddenly very concerned. Maybe we should announce that climate change is a woman.
— Carol Hartsell (@carolrhartsell) July 16, 2017
The museum's terracotta warriors all suddenly speak. "Initializing phase two."
— batkaren (@batkaren) July 19, 2017
Seeing the Ex for the first time after the Breakup... pic.twitter.com/4jKJStglf5
— Julie Rasmussen (@JulieRasmussen) July 21, 2017
Looking back, I think all our problems started when we let Britney convince us she's not that innocent.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) July 20, 2017
First ghostbusters, then Wonder Woman, then a girl alien? Whats next, female balloons? Woman sand? A girl alphabet? Women can't be balloons
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) July 16, 2017
People in Times Square: Why? Why do you come here willingly? Are you even enjoying it? If so, how?
— Christy Havranek (@diopter) July 21, 2017
"Pardoning yourself" sounds like GOP talk for masturbation.
— Twitnter is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 21, 2017
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