The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- and succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. To celebrate 2015, we've rounded up 50 of the funniest tweets from women from this past year.
Scroll below to read some truly laugh-out-loud tweets from some wonderful women.
Pinterest should come with a free cat
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) January 5, 2015
Listen google, it's 2015. I need you to figure out who I'm talking about when I type "that one guy in that movie I didn't like."
— The Alicianater (@leechee420) January 9, 2015
When I was young I watched lots of court dramas and I thought "hold you in contempt" meant the judge was gonna give them a REALLY angry hug
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) February 5, 2015
i only go on ebay after i smoke pot that way i'm always the highest bidder thank you check please
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) January 22, 2015
Women make better Ghostbusters than men because we are used to caring about invisible problems no one else believes in.
— Stacey Nightmare (@STACEYNIGHTMARE) January 28, 2015
Plot twist: WebMD says you're just thirsty
— Varla (@GelasticGoGo) February 7, 2015
Calm down shouty museum man. I think it's pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) February 11, 2015
People who finish their entire stick of lip balm without losing it first should be the only ones allowed to have kids.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) February 20, 2015
My vision board just has pictures of pizza on it.
— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) February 20, 2015
if you are wearing a tshirt that says "whatever" wouldnt it be a stronger statement to wear a trash bag
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 3, 2015
My personal style is best described as "didn't expect to get out of the car."
— Hot Breakfast (@amydillon) February 16, 2015
Most adult friendships are just figuring out whose turn it is to cancel plans.
— Erica (@SCbchbum) February 23, 2015
A cleanse for me is switching to white wine.
— Gennefer Gross (@Gennefer) December 28, 2015
"By the way, I never really liked you," she said, as the door of the spaceship closed.
— Karen (Tozzi) (@karentozzi) March 4, 2015
Sure sex is good but have you ever had someone scratch your back for a long time.
— Raspberry Jam (@Jenny4ashley) March 1, 2015
There should be a word for the specific type of anxiety I feel when I see someone wearing Uggs in the rain.
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) March 15, 2015
[inventing Peeps] What if we made a candy that's like a blob half chicken half couch
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) March 19, 2015
*backflips out of bushes* can I pet your dog
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) March 18, 2015
Can Claire Underwood from House of Cards please do an exercise tape where she's like cold and dispassionate but she gives you a perfect ass?
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 30, 2015
But if I go out, who is going to stick their finger in the cat's mouth and ruin his yawns?
— Oblivia (@aveuaskew) April 10, 2015
Fool me once, please, I will take literally any human interaction I can get.
— slaughthie (@slaughthie) April 16, 2015
u can take the girl out of the buffet but unless u check her purse/pockets for hidden jalapeño poppers, the buffet is going with the girl
— Colette McIntyre (@calledcolette) April 15, 2015
just googled "woman who goes to a lot of weddings" because i was trying to remember some movie but google was like "bitch that's you"
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) October 16, 2015
[first date] I just love that you are a normal, cool girl. *subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair* -Yeah, totally.
— molls (@MollySneed) April 17, 2015
Have you ever been unsure whether you're angry because you're hungry or you're angry because it's Tuesday?
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) June 16, 2015
Do people who drive minivans know they're allowed to drive the same speed as the rest of us?
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) April 22, 2015
Me: I'm definitely over him Wine: No
— moody monday (@mdob11) April 19, 2015
Instead of a block option on Twitter, let's have a "notify his mom" button
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) October 18, 2015
Every day that I don't set my pants on fire from my thighs rubbing together is a good god damn day.
— The Eh Factor (@AngelaEhh) April 22, 2015
can you believe that people actually dueled? lol men.
— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) October 7, 2015
Feminism, from the Latin for "don't read the comments."
— Rhea Butcher (@RheaButcher) April 29, 2015
I like my coffee how I like my men. Incapable of disrespecting me.
— Jessica Jokes (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 4, 2015
feel like no matter how i die my last words will be "i'm still hungry"
— Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) May 11, 2015
Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's the three cups of coffee before noon.
— Madeline Haller (@madeline_haller) May 12, 2015
Lady in the streets Freak at the cat shelter
— Wonder Kitten (@Tw1tter_K1tten) May 14, 2015
a few 2016 movie lessons room: men r bad spotlight: men r bad thebigshort: men r bad stevejobs: men r bad magic mike xxl: wait…men r good
— LW (@lindseyweber) December 28, 2015
More ladies should leave internet comments on men's accomplishments like "he sucks as an astronaut but i'd sit on his face"
— dr. dalia ☥ (@DALIAMALEK) May 30, 2015
My girl squad is 80% actual dogs.
— Ally Maynard (@missmayn) December 22, 2015
New sexual fantasy: He takes my hand, leads me to the bed, and says, in a throaty whisper, "I want you to nap for as long as you like."
— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) October 18, 2015
being a feminist is honestly so much work I can't even enjoy hotline bling without thinking that drake should just let his ex live
— farwz (@farwzaz) September 25, 2015
"How can I ruin a thing everyone loves?" -- the person who invented macaroni salad
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) September 1, 2015
"Dogs are assholes" DOG PERSON: YOU'RE an asshole! "Cats are assholes" CAT PERSON: Yeah
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) September 3, 2015
I'm only up because I'm afraid if I get any more beauty sleep you will all worship me as your queen and I'm too modest for that life.
— Santa Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) September 3, 2015
I feel like when life gives me lemons I just give them back because I hate holding stuff.
— Jamie Lee (@TheJamieLee) July 7, 2015
Always a bridesmaid, never a new world-order leader in a post-apocalyptic all-powerful matriarchy. Sigh.
— Gwen (@msgwenl) July 28, 2015
LET'S GET THE PREMIUM PACKAGE WE NEED ALL THE TV AND MOVIE CHANNELS EVER **still watches only Law & Order SVU**
— Jessica Samakow (@jsam1126) October 6, 2015
creating an app called Friends With Pools. It's exactly what you think it is.
— Trelawny Davis (@TrelawnySara) June 22, 2015
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 1, 2015
*chases cat around trying to get a good photo* - me at any party ever
— Gaby Dunn (@gabydunn) September 28, 2015
Visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page to read more tweets from our past collections.
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