Dear grocery store bagger guys:
Could we talk? I mean, this conversation is way overdue. Here's the problem: You guys are young and strong. I am not young, and, after having my chest broken by a drunk driver, not strong. An avid recycler, I initially purchased a bunch of your store's re-usable bags. But seriously, I could never lift a single one of them by the time you'd finished stuffing the contents of my entire grocery cart into just two of them. Even if I ask you to spread my groceries out among all five of my bags, you guys put all the heaviest stuff -- like both half gallons of milk and the half gallon of juice -- in the same bag. Then instead of putting that bag in the child seat where I might have a fighting chance of wrestling it into the trunk of my car, you stash it under the child seat where I'd need a forklift to haul it out.
Now, I know the word "heavy" is really subjective. So when I say, "Would you put the heavy bags on top?" I realize that to you, none of them are heavy. Which is why all the heaviest stuff seems to end up in the bottom of the cart, or worse, in the rack underneath it. I really really hate when you do that because I really really can't get it out of there.
Fortunately, I happened to make a donation to the World Wildlife Fund and they sent me four smaller recyclable bags. But it's still amazing how much stuff you guys can cram into even those. I know you guys are willing to put this stuff in my trunk for me, but I still have to get it out of there again.
I really hate to complain because you guys are generally adorable. And really trying hard to please. And having to deal with the general public who are going to whine no matter what you do. I'd shoot myself after one day of working in retail. Which is why I'm trying to be really nice about this.
I actually have more sympathy for your job than you know. For two years starting in 2005, my husband and I lived in Sweden. There, you not only bring your own recyclable bags to the supermarket, you bag your groceries yourself. I didn't understand that at first, and stood there smiling at the grocery clerk who wasn't smiling back. Neither was anyone standing in line behind me who were shooting the equivalent of rabid moose darts into the back of my head.
Even after I caught on, I squished a whole lot of groceries in those early weeks. You really had to be bagging your stuff fast so you wouldn't hold up the line. Really important not to let the tomatoes get under the laundry detergent. Or the herring either. Really hard to get that herring smell out of your bags.
But bagging was only the first step. There were still plenty of opportunities to make fruit salad out of your produce before you even got it home. After you bagged, you had to pack it all into your Swedish shopping trolley and wheel it home. Loading your shopping trolley for optimal food survival was an art all in itself.
But I did become a pro in the field of grocery bagging while we lived in Sweden. It was a comforting feeling to know that if my boss laid me off while I was gone, I'd be a shoo in to work at Vons.
So I'm way more empathetic to the tribulations of your job than you might realize. So when I ask you to not make any of the bags "too heavy," I mean no more than one half gallon of any beverage (adult or otherwise) in any bag. And could we spread out the canned goods too? Maybe give that box of laundry detergent a room, er bag, of its own?
Or, maybe I should quit whining and bag it myself since I actually know how. Duh.
