The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
FaceTime: all the regular stress of answering a phone call with the added anxiety of not looking like a monster
— Erica (@SCbchbum) July 23, 2015
"I saw your Lifetime documentary over the weekend" — my mother, who saw Trainwreck
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) July 20, 2015
Hold on. My life is a lie. I need to become my true self.
*Changes into sweatpants*
There. That's better.
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) July 21, 2015
every day is a new chance to not tweet a map my run screenshot
— Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) July 23, 2015
complete list of things i am ever doing:
- my best
- the most
- it well
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) July 24, 2015
If you can't handle me at my Peggy Olson series one, you don't deserve me at my Peggy Olson series seven.
— Ailbhe Malone (@ailbhetross) July 23, 2015
I know I should be sad and worried about Trump but I confess I am surprised and delighted in this country's capacity to keep a joke going.
— Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) July 23, 2015
I'm seriously starting to think Donald Trump is involved in some sort of dare.
— side-eye spice (@goldengateblond) July 18, 2015
If you're a man named after alcohol I am destined to love you.
— The Eh Factor (@AngelaEhh) July 24, 2015
Every invite should have the option to check, "Depends on what's on TV."
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 24, 2015
*Eye of the Tiger plays while I bleach my mustache*
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) July 24, 2015
imagining Taylor Swift waking up this am still confused over what went wrong. 'But the Internet, like, LOVES Feminism. WHAT HAPPENED?'
— Stephanie Marcus (@stephaniemarcus) July 23, 2015
I spend 60% of my weekends un-sticking my thighs from plastic lawn chairs.
— Yael (@elle91) July 24, 2015
Never meet your heroes. Never follow your heroes on Twitter. Never be on Twitter. Never.
— Krystie Lee Yandoli (@KrystieLYandoli) July 24, 2015
Girls can't be football coaches cuz they'd rearrange all the x's and o's in the playbook to be xoxoxoxo 💋💕💕
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) July 24, 2015
[At mall]
I love your unwavering gaze when I tell you about my day.
"Ma'am, leave the mannequins alone or I'm calling the police again"
— Oblivia (@aveuaskew) July 24, 2015
Change is inevitable. Unless you need it to buy lunch from the vending machine. Then it's nowhere to be found.
— Jewpac Kippur (@jewfacekilla) July 21, 2015
tube announcer: pls stand behind the yellow line
me: I've done nothing but love & support you. Its unlike you to pit women against each oth
— Bim FKA yung jollof (@bimadew) July 22, 2015
every time I think I want a relationship I go to IKEA and watch couples there and I'm good for another six months
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) July 21, 2015
Weird how we call a dude with gray hair a Silver Fox & a lady with gray hair a Gross You're Old
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) July 24, 2015
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