Like everyone else, I am having a hard time even fathoming the slaughter at the nightclub in Orlando. The number of dead—the largest number killed in a mass shooting in the United States—is terrifying, as is the fact that the shooter invoked ISIS and the Boston Marathon shooters in his 911 call during the shooting.
If an adult like me, with some perspective and resilience, is having a hard time, imagine how this might feel to children. We can do our best to shelter them from this, but the news coverage has been nonstop—and if they go to school or are otherwise out in the world, we simply cannot control everything they might hear.
Here’s what I think parents should do:
Talk to your children about what happened. You don’t need to go into the gory details, but give them the basic facts. Use this as another opportunity to talk about tolerance; it is a horrible, real-life example of how hate kills. At this time, in this world, it is crucial that we raise children to understand how hate can destroy us. We are at a pivotal moment; how we teach our children to think about each other, especially about people who are different from them, will have everything to do with the world they grow up in.
Talk to your children about the helpers—and find ways to help. This, too, is crucial. In moments like these, there are always heroes. Whether it’s the police who came to the rescue, the people in the club who pulled others to safety or the hundreds who lined up to donate blood, there are always examples to point out to children. By doing this, not only do we find comfort, we find strength: we help our children learn that in the face of evil, there is always something we can do to save others and show that goodness can prevail.
Do something as a family. Donate to The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center of Central Florida or to the other places they suggest on their website. Donate to a local organization that supports the GLBTQ community; the It Gets Better Project has links to resources and organizations.
And, parents, please: Speak up for gun safety. The gun used in Orlando is the same kind that was used to kill those first-graders in Newtown, Connecticut. There is just no good reason to have an assault weapon. The shooter bought that gun legally; while we can talk about all the reasons he might have been motivated to do what he did, and whether or not he had mental health problems, the bottom line is that if he hadn’t had that kind of gun, fewer people would have died. Hate or mental health problems didn’t kill those people; a gun did.
I am not talking about taking away all guns. I am talking about sensible laws that keep us safer than we are now.
If we are going to raise our children to be better people than we are, we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves and the choices we are making. Because the world isn’t getting safer—and it’s becoming clear that distrust, and arming ourselves rather than caring for each other, is a very big part of the problem.