Jesus Is On Tinder And His Pickup Lines Are Miraculous

He's a bit of a player, but that's his cross to bear.

If you’re on Tinder religiously, you may have noticed that Jesus has indeed risen, just in time for Easter.

Yes, Jesus is looking for love. He’s even got a hilarious profile pic that shows him posing with Swedish fish and tortillas (fishes and loaves people!) and turning water into wine.

Tinder

Other pertinent facts about this hunky son of God:

  • He says he’s actually thousands of years old, adding “idk why it says 21 lol.”
  • His one downside: “I’ve only been nailed once.”
  • “Upside: I would die for you so you know I’m committed.”

All of this is well and good, but where Jesus really shines is in his direct messaging.

That’s what impressed Twitter user @QueenIdle most when she matched up with Jesus recently on Tinder.

Tinder is something else my dude pic.twitter.com/bv86lbF0PJ

— ♡ 🌻JUJU🌻 ♡ (@QueenIdle) March 4, 2017

For those of you who want an update. #TinderJesus pic.twitter.com/62ijOQVFmp

— ♡ 🌻JUJU🌻 ♡ (@QueenIdle) March 5, 2017

She was impressed, but soon found out that Jesus has a loyal following. Take the following exchange with Twitter user @xhaley_nicolex, for example:

@QueenIdle same lmaoooo pic.twitter.com/qLRKFrk2Zq

— Grumpy Bug (@xhaley_nicolex) March 5, 2017

And he sure gets around:

@QueenIdle jesus been around pic.twitter.com/uyhYjvOYr3

— rat daddy (@carpoolhoe) March 5, 2017

Guess it’s tough being so virtuous all the time!

UPDATE: To learn the story about Tinder Jesus, read this follow-up story.

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