'Ornery Ole Bastard' Gets A World-Class Sendoff In Family-Written Obituary

Here’s one of the most novel send-offs you’ll ever read.

A family-written obituary for Howard “Wayne” Neal of Lolita, Texas, mourned the loss of an “ornery ole bastard,” who loved his dog more than his kids and had a passion for scotch.

Neal was 74 when he died on Sept. 11.

“Wayne Neal has exited his rickety old body, having lived twice as long as he expected and way longer than he deserved,” wrote his son, Eric Neal.

The obit went on to discuss his unique personality:

“Wayne never met a man he didn’t want to Indian leg wrestle, or play mercy with. Mainly because he was an ornery ole bastard.

He was a modest man who very seldom bragged about all of his treasures on Facebook. By the way, who the hell taught him about Facebook?”

The obituary also noted that Neal was preceded in death “by his wife Carolyn (mainly because she had enough of his shenanigans),” and that he was “survived by his favorite son Buddy and another kid, some grandchildren, a few more great grandchildren, a trilogy of brothers and one sister.”

Buddy ― the “favorite son” ― was his dog.

Read the full obituary, published in the Victoria Advocate, here.

Eric said writing the tribute to his father was a way of coping with the loss.

“The reason behind the obituary was to try and cheer everyone up a little bit, myself included,” he said. “I came home from the hospital and was feeling sorry for myself and thought maybe writing a touch of Wayne’s life down as his obituary would cheer me up.”