There’s no question the book and now movie Me Before You has received a lot of negative attention. I was one of those voices speaking out against the movie in one of my recent blog posts. Personally, I was concerned about the message behind the movie that essentially says life is not worth living if you have a disability, like many others conveyed. But I also wanted to address something it seemed a lot of people were missing: There are people within the disabled community who struggle with thinking their lives are worthless. That’s what makes the movie so frightening. It portrays something that is very real.
I take personal offense to a message like the one in Me Before You. Not only have I had a disability my entire life, I strive to be an advocate for and encourager to the disability community through my career as a writer. I’m not okay with our society sending this kind of message to people like me.
Soon after my blog post began generating a lot of traffic, I came across a social media post in response to my blog saying that I was wrong. They doubted very many in the disabled community ever felt worthless or unlovable and they thought the movie was just a story about love for people to enjoy without harm.
It’s true – not everyone with a disability has considered ending their life. Not everyone feels negatively about their circumstances. In fact, there are a lot of voices who say life with a disability is full and wonderful; mine included. Still, disabled or not, everyone has struggled with wondering if their life matters and if anyone will ever love them for who they are. The difference is that when this struggle is put in context of disability, it’s not as quickly negated. It’s often either ignored because people don’t understand how significant these feelings can be, or society feeds these feelings in the way disability is discussed and perceived.
Quite a few people with a disability have wondered if their lives are too challenging for anyone to acknowledge their worth and love them like a real person – not out of obligation or pity, but because of genuine love. The facts in the world around us yell into our live that those thoughts of worthlessness and never being loved are justified. The fear is not unfounded.
I take personal offense to a message like the one in Me Before You. Not only have I had a disability my entire life, I strive to be an advocate for and encourager to the disability community through my career as a writer. I’m not okay with our society sending this kind of message to people like me.
Soon after my blog post began generating a lot of traffic, I came across a social media post in response to my blog saying that I was wrong. They doubted very many in the disabled community ever felt worthless or unlovable and they thought the movie was just a story about love for people to enjoy without harm.
It’s true – not everyone with a disability has considered ending their life. Not everyone feels negatively about their circumstances. In fact, there are a lot of voices who say life with a disability is full and wonderful; mine included. Still, disabled or not, everyone has struggled with wondering if their life matters and if anyone will ever love them for who they are. The difference is that when this struggle is put in context of disability, it’s not as quickly negated. It’s often either ignored because people don’t understand how significant these feelings can be, or society feeds these feelings in the way disability is discussed and perceived.
Quite a few people with a disability have wondered if their lives are too challenging for anyone to acknowledge their worth and love them like a real person – not out of obligation or pity, but because of genuine love. The facts in the world around us yell into our live that those thoughts of worthlessness and never being loved are justified. The fear is not unfounded.
· Euthanasia or assisted suicide has been legalized in several countries and in some states within the US; some people believe it could be, and has been, used unethically against people with disabilities.
· The suicide rate among people with certain types of disabilities is significantly higher than it is for the general population.
· Those who do contemplate suicide are more likely to do so because of the social messages received from society about having a disability.
Movies like Me Before You send a message that says everyone is better off if people who have a disability do not live. Will, the disabled main character justifies this by saying to Louisa, the woman he loves: “I don’t want you to be tied to me, to my hospital appointments, to the restrictions on my life. I don’t want you to miss out on all the things someone else could give you. And, selfishly, I don’t want you to look at me one day and feel even the tiniest bit of regret or pity…”
Whether the author realized it or not, she perfectly depicted the scary truth. This declaration is not far off from real-life thoughts and it’s those feelings that cause some people with a disability to no longer desire to live. Not only does this story contribute to the stigma in our culture today against those with a disability, it’s one of those messages that may be the very thing to cause someone to consider ending their life. This story had a powerful opportunity to change the dialogue on disability. Instead, it contributed to the problem. It’s dangerous for our culture to promote something that indicates ending a life is a viable option when a person feels as if they aren’t worthy of love, which is nothing more than a lie.
I wish the person who wrote that post about my blog was right. But some people do feel this way. And that’s why we need to talk about it. That’s why we need to do something. That’s why we need to work to shift the conversation that takes place within society about disability issues and what it’s like to live with a disability. That’s why we need to keep saying: Your life matters. You are loved. Your presence is significant.
Whether the author realized it or not, she perfectly depicted the scary truth. This declaration is not far off from real-life thoughts and it’s those feelings that cause some people with a disability to no longer desire to live. Not only does this story contribute to the stigma in our culture today against those with a disability, it’s one of those messages that may be the very thing to cause someone to consider ending their life. This story had a powerful opportunity to change the dialogue on disability. Instead, it contributed to the problem. It’s dangerous for our culture to promote something that indicates ending a life is a viable option when a person feels as if they aren’t worthy of love, which is nothing more than a lie.
I wish the person who wrote that post about my blog was right. But some people do feel this way. And that’s why we need to talk about it. That’s why we need to do something. That’s why we need to work to shift the conversation that takes place within society about disability issues and what it’s like to live with a disability. That’s why we need to keep saying: Your life matters. You are loved. Your presence is significant.