“I hate spelling. I’m terrible at it!” It’s the tail end of the school year and we’re done.
Don’t misread that. School is not finished for the year, but we’re done.
The pencils are dulled nubs. The crayons are broken. The best colors have gone missing and drudgery has set in.
It happens.
Spelling is my son's Kryptonite. Different subjects, different lessons will frustrate him at different times, but spelling is a sure bet for frustration almost every time.
I’ve made peace with this as a homeschooling mama. This boy of mine has subjects he dives into and sails through and others that don’t come quite as easily. Personally, I’d take spelling over math any day of the week. We each have our own bent.
It’s a tough job we have, parenting these kids. Leading them through spelling words and math problems. Through bus rides and making friends. Through lunch lines and making the team, getting the grade, waiting their turn and spring fever. Truthfully, I don't want to work when it's 80 degrees and sunny out either. Some of it is just plain hard.
Hard for kids and hard for parents, too.
But when I see my boy pulling out his spelling book, weakening by the second, I realize that spelling is not the most important thing here. Not at all.
As much as I want to train my children to spell, I want to train my children to do hard things.
Character over content.
No matter what our children grow up to be, they will be forced to do hard things. Things that aren’t fun. Things they aren’t awesome at. Things that drag on when they would rather give up.
This mama job of mine is pretty awesome. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But blow out diapers are awful. Teething toddlers are hard. Kids puking on an airplane is not easy and a whiny 3 year old (4, 5, 6 year old?) can test anyone’s patience.
And let’s not forget training hearts and reigning in attitudes.
While the variables change, the frustrations in the workplace are every bit as present as well. Dealing with co-workers can be hard. Deadlines are tough. Salary negotiations and job demands can be frustrating. And we all have days where we would just rather quit.
So as much I want to teach my kid to spell, actually more than I want him to spell, I want him to know how to handle hard stuff. I want to train his character, his reflexes, to handle hard things bravely. To let frustrating things refine him, not define him. And I want to help him develop a history, a track record, that shows the fruit of persevering through hard things, giving him the confidence to fight even harder the next time.
Three lessons HARD things teach our kids:
1. Faithfulness. Small tasks add up. Every spelling test is an opportunity become a better speller. It’s not flashy; it’s commitment - being faithful with what is in front of us because we believe in where that will take us. Growing our kids in their strengths as well as their weaknesses teaches them to steward their lives well, to see the bigger picture. And when we train their hearts to do this out of an act of obedience and faithfulness, right where they are at, growing and learning today, we begin to develop their character for things far beyond spelling. Interesting how that lesson applies to us every bit as much as it does our kids, huh?
2. Perseverance. If parenting isn’t a lesson in perseverance, I don’t know what is. There are so many areas of life where we patiently chip away daily, committing our efforts to results we can barely see. I want my 11 year old speller to know that. Sometimes progress comes slowly, but it does come. I want to help him develop the tenacity to persevere because it will serve him well in so many areas of life.
3. Weakness is opportunity. I’ve learned more in my life through my weaknesses than I ever have through my strengths. I’ve learned more through what I have messed up, than I have from what I nailed. Our strengths tend to make things come easy for us, but our weaknesses, that hard stuff, that is where the real growth happens. That is where character is built. And I want my kids to see that too.
So I want spelling to look a little different in the closing of the school year. We’re not shuffling things under the carpet or trying to get our quota in before the school year closes. We aren’t shooting for outcomes as much as we are shooting for character. We are going to be faithful and work on perseverance. We are going to be thankful for the opportunity to persevere through hard things together and we are going to finish this school year strong.
This article was originally published at I Choose Brave.