There's a hilarious scene in The Internship where Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson sit down to go over a few of Google's workplace rules. Among the questions posed to the interns are whether dating a fellow co-worker is acceptable. Obviously the answer is no, much to Vaughn and Wilson's dismay, and they sarcastically quip back, "so we say no to love?"
That's kind of where I'm at right now.
It's funny because all I see popping up on my newsfeed are pictures of yet another couple getting married. There's so many smiles, so many flowers, and so many staged black and white pictures of husband and wife staring deeply into each others eyes--a completely fake moment caught on film.
I feel horrible for these people. I can't help but think that they're missing out on so many things by getting hitched so early. I mean, they're going to wake up next to that same person for the rest of their lives. After the first year or two the rosy-colored glasses are off. I feel like many of us fall in love with the idea of being in love.
And then there's me. I spend my days doing one thing: exactly what I want to do. And I mean exactly. My plans aren't beholden to somebody else. I go where I want to go for dinner and don't have to second-guess whether whoever I'm with is happy with my restaurant pick.
But here's why I'm really saying no to love: because I'm not ready in the slightest. I'm not ready because I want to see the world, submerge myself in cultures, and become the best possible person I can be. I don't want to get married to complete myself. I want to complete myself and then get married.
And the best way for me to complete myself is to put myself in some crazy situations. A lot of people think I'm stupid for road tripping the U.S. alone, picking up random people from London along the way.
I think that it's been an incredibly fun way to learn more about myself. And really all kinds of travel will teach you more about yourself. You'll gain new perspectives in congruence with the miles notched.
That's right, I'm saying no to love to focus on me. But in a weird way focusing on me will only benefit whoever I end up being with at the end of all this. In a roundabout fashion I actually am doing my future soul mate a favor--if I have one. At the end of my travels I'll be at least a little bit wiser than the stupid little boy that I am now.
That's why. I'm not staying single for selfish reasons--I promise. There's so many days that I do wish I was in a relationship (okay, the black and white pictures are to blame), but I know that jumping into something that I want right now might be counterintuitive to my growth as a human being, and my overall character as a future husband.
So, for now, and I'm sorry about this Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, I'm going to say a resounding "no" to love.
Like Tom's thoughts? Follow his travels on his Facebook page, or visit his blog to get weekly updates on where he is.