by Motivational Speaker and Strategic Storytelling Expert, Kelly Swanson
My Husband, The Prepper
Some women marry men who are very analytical. Some marry men who live for golf. Some marry the Green Peace guy who’s saving whales and riding bicycles to work. Me? I married a prepper. What’s a prepper? A prepper is a person who believes a catastrophic disaster or emergency is likely to occur in the near future and makes active preparations for it – typically by stockpiling food, ammunition, and a complete line of all season thermo-nuclear body suits. In short, this man takes boy scout preparedness to a whole other level. I had never heard of a prepper until my husband became one.
He’s not full blown prepper like the guys on reality TV. He doesn’t spend all day dressed in camouflage, lurking in the bushes with a matted beard, painted face, and night vision Goggles, surveying the church parking lot. He just likes to be prepared. And self-sufficient. And know twenty-eight ways to kill a man with a shoestring and a paper clip just in case those terrorists come up over the border from South Carolina.
He wasn’t that way when I married him. But somewhere between I do and What have I done? he went from Check out this article I found on living off the grid - to - Honey, I think I’ll tear down the deck and put in a farm so is it okay if I buy some goats? This might not sound so outlandish to you, except that our yard backs up to the student housing for a university. I don’t think his vision of backyard goat breeding fits into the university theme, unless the goats are wearing frat sweaters and singing beer songs. And putting young drunk college men near goats – well – is probably not the best idea. Dude! That chick over there is smiling at you – yeah that one – the one with hair on her chinny, chin, chin. She is checking you out! (Boy,won’t he be sorry the next day. Talk about beer goggles!)
Prepper Marries Motivational Speaker
My husband, the prepper, marries a woman who thinks gel nails are a necessity, and that roughing it is not being able to get your roots done once a month. For me, being prepared for a power outage means having three battery-operated curling irons. I think preparedness is having a pair of wedges to match every outfit, and if I ever found myself in a house fire, I’m going to be the one grabbing the fireman and yelling, “Save my hair extensions! They’re still inside! You have to go back in there!”
My husband believes physical fitness is a virtue. I believe God gave us lard and sugar for a reason. My husband loves museums, documentaries, and historical dramas. I went into a depression for three weeks when Meredith’s husband died on Grey’s Anatomy. I believe in turning the other cheek, my husband believes if someone comes after you, you beat them until they don’t get back up. Even though we have found a way to meet in the middle, on most days we simply do not understand each other.
Enlightenment
We were driving on a long car ride and I was excitedly sharing with my husband what I had learned at a workshop about the power in revealing our emotional wounds from childhood, and how by verbalizing these wounds we can connect to the wounds of our customers in a deeper way. He was far from thrilled. Wounds are kind of a good thing in prepper world. “It says here,” I continued, despite his obvious attempts at trying to change the subject, “to list some of your childhood memories - the unpleasant ones, and talk about how that made you feel. How would you answer that honey?”
I could tell by his reaction that this wasn’t a game he wanted to play, but I persisted. To my surprise, he thought about it and answered. “My older brother used to beat me up. All the time. It wasn’t just playing. He would beat the tar out of me. He was mean and he was a bully and because of him I was scared to go home every day. It got so bad that I found reasons not to come home. Finally I got big enough and strong enough to hit back. I hit back hard. And nobody ever bothered me again.”
With that one answer I could see clearly why my husband had become the way he was - so determined that nobody would hurt him - so determined to teach my son how to fight back - so concerned with feeling safe in his own home. I saw how a story from his childhood changed the way he saw his world forever. In that one moment as he shared that story, I went beyond meeting him in the middle, to truly understanding him.
Everyone has a back story that shapes the way they see themselves and the world around them. When we take the time to step out of our story and into theirs, we begin to understand each other more.
How Well Do You Understand Your Customers?
I thought I knew my husband as well as I could know anyone. But I didn’t. And he’s my husband. So maybe I don’t know my customers as well as I thought. If it took me just minutes of stepping into my husband’s life experience to understand him better, what kind of impact would it have if I did that with my customer?
How well do you know your customer? Have you ever sat down as a team and written the story of your typical customer? Have you moved from thinking about what you have that will help them, to stepping into their daily lives to understand their motives, their fears, their pains and desires?
What are you doing to find out their story and then tell it in a way that they feel like you “get them” and understand their needs?
Customers don’t care about your story. They care about theirs. How well do you know their story?
Okay. I have to go. My husband just bought me a new hazmat suit and wants me to try it on. I hope he bought one with rhinestones. There is no reason why I can’t face a catastrophe with a little bling.
Motivational Speaker and Storytelling Expert Kelly Swanson teaches people across all industries how to use strategic storytelling to stand up and stick out in a crowded market.