For decades, even centuries, expectations have been placed upon women and mothers to create the perfect home for their family. Traditionally mothers were expected to be June Cleaver, raising the children and taking care of the household chores. However the role of mothers within the home is changing. With growing equality between men and women, and equal opportunity legislation, women have been spending more time establishing their career prior to having children. The average first time mom in Canada was just 23 years old in 1971. Today, the greatest number of Canadian babies are born to women between 30 and 34 years old (Statistics Canada, 2016). With expanded opportunities, women are increasingly taking on multiple roles between their careers and motherhood.
Splitting time between a career and a family results in a strenuous juggling act for many women. With so many demands on their time, many mothers consider leaving the workforce and staying home with their children. While there are women who sacrifice their careers in order to spend time with their children, there are also women who sacrifice time with their children to provide for their family. Both scenarios come with their own challenges, as many mothers find it difficult to balance all of their responsibilities.
While we are seeing growing equality of women in the workplace, we are also seeing equality of men in the home. Father’s attitudes have changed immensely in recent years. They are devoting more time to their children and engaging in housework more than they ever have before. Although the division of labour is often favourable for the father, this increase in support has made it somewhat easier on moms to manage responsibilities at home and at work.
As the product of a stay-at-home mom and blue-collar working father, I know little about juggling a career and a family as a woman. My mom was the epitome of June Cleaver and dedicated one hundred percent of her time towards being a mother. While she sacrificed her career to raise our family, my father sacrificed time with his children to provide. They demonstrated two extremes on each side of the work life balance. Now, in my late twenties and flown away from the nest, I’m trying to establish a family structure with my husband that allows me to be my mother and my father all at the same time.
Like many modern women, I have worked the Monday to Friday grind, commuted in rush hour traffic, and frequently experienced scheduling chaos. Although I claim to be an effective multi-tasker, my heart takes a hit each time I think about balancing my career, my new son and my husband. The mother in me wants to have the opportunity to fully commit to my family, while the ambitious woman in me doesn’t want to abandon my career and lose my identity in the process.
These days it seems almost impossible for the average family to survive on one income, though it has been something my husband and I have discussed more seriously since the arrival of our son. With the rising cost of living and all of the other expenses that come with raising a family, reducing our dual income to one will surely come with additional stressors. We would have to run our 2004 and 2009 compact cars into the ground, fit our growing family into our cozy townhouse and learn to live on our needs rather than our wants. My husband would become the sole provider and I would have to let go of any pride related to financial contributions to my family.
While facing this significant decision, I’ve been blessed to connect with two moms, Linda and Vera, who understand this important balancing act. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. These moms founded Workhoppers, a website that focuses on flexible jobs. Built like a dating site, the website allows job-seekers to create a free profile to advertise their skills and get matched with local vetted companies looking to hire. With all these new on-line marketplaces it has never been easier for moms to find flexible work opportunities to re-enter the workforce with focus on achieving the perfect work life balance. Flexible work wasn’t something my husband and I originally considered. For us, it was all or nothing - I’d either stay at home with our children or go back to work full time. However, now I can clearly see that there is a third option. I’ve not only grown a greater understanding of flexible work but learned it could fit into my idea of personal and professional success and I have found a new inner calm.
The ability to achieve a perfect work life balance will be different for every mother. Whether you’re a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, or a mom that’s achieved a healthy balance of the two, you’re a woman your children can be proud of. Being a mother is one of the most challenging yet rewarding job a woman will have in her life. And while our attitudes towards work are changing, our love and dedication to our family will always stay the same.