Lying on a yoga mat in my bedroom, I gazed up at the window. Through the barely-opened blinds, I could see the sun glistening through the trees. Nature's gentle breeze was lovingly moving each of its leaves as though it was effortlessly forming a melody in celebration of its own elegance and allure. It was a beautiful day to be alive. I stepped outside and began to admire the abundance of green grass. I knew the same abundance also resided within me.
I admired all of the flowers for as far as my eyes could see. I knew that the maker of their lovely aroma, symphony of colors and perfectly-constructed petals had also created me. We were children of the same playground. In that moment, it didn't matter, though. Deep within me, there was a truth that told me I knew better than to be existing in a state of such discontentment and defeat, yet my feet remained cemented there. Inside of me, there was a raging storm, and I was drowning.
I was lost inside of my delusion of a self-made storm cloud. In reality, I was an infinitely powerful creature, yet I alone was denying myself of such power. I could have thrived in that moment, yet I believed I was a victim of childhood tragedy and an abusive adult relationship. I could have been bursting with enthusiasm for life, yet I was consumed by sadness and defeat. I could have been swirling in a funnel of laughter and celebration, yet I was in a cyclone of despair. I could have been running with the wind, yet I was lying on the floor growing further bruises while picking my every sore, allowing them to multiply. I had the potential to be a mighty warrior, but somewhere along the way I had come to believe I was capable of nothing more than crawling cowardly into a corner and covering my ears from the sound of the thunder.
There was nothing wrong with my luck. There was no external hex over my life. Although I had experienced some unfortunate circumstances, my life was far from short of blessings. I was surrounded by mountains of love, yet I had formed a habit of focusing my gaze on every unfortunate valley. There was no piece missing in my puzzle of self-worth; I just didn't know how to make them fit together because I was too consumed and distracted by the raging storm I believed I was a victim of. I had allowed life's misfortunes to reshape my opinion of myself and of the world, and I had become a victim of nothing other than my own thoughts.
If Your Patterns Are Consistently Dark And Stormy, Perhaps You're The One Making It Rain...
If you are scratching your head and wondering why you continue to find yourself in the same storm, in the same relationship and in the same dysfunctional patterns, stop splashing around in mud puddles. Figure out the role you have played in making it rain.
You can visualize having the home of your dreams and perhaps even bring it into fruition. You can move thousands of miles away from all who have offended you. You can create an empire or whatever you conceive as being the highest achievement of your dreams. However, if you lack harmony within, you will still find yourself in chaos once again upon arrival.
Geography is not the answer. Riches are not, either. It doesn't matter how your bank account reads. It doesn't matter what jewels you adorn yourself with or how many people learn your name. You can even sail the loveliest of seas while enjoying the most extravagant of amenities or, perhaps, jet set in luxury to Dubai, but you will never permanently remedy what is going on outside without first fixing what is going on inside. There will be no peace and no permanent change if the same lawbreaker continues making all of the rules. You cannot run from your truth. You cannot escape the storm inside of you.
'Drama' Only Follows Those Who Create It
Within you exists two opponents: A maker of storms and a maker of sunshine. Whomever you allow to take the reigns will determine the nature of your fate. Both must exist because we live in a world of opposition. If I had never walked through a storm, I would have no concept of the glory of the sun. I wouldn't appreciate its warmth on my face in the same way. The truth is: Every storm can actually turn into a blessing, but only if you learn to make it stop.
Have you ever noticed that those who make the most excuses in life are the ones who never seem to "get it right"? Consider the most unsuccessful and discontent person you know. Spend five minutes considering your most recent conversations with them and you will, without much thought or effort, be able to attach to them a string of their most famous excuses and complaints. Someone else is almost always to blame for their misfortune. They are always a victim of some injustice, unfairness or catastrophe which is perpetually beyond their meager control.
Perhaps everyone in their family mistreats them, their friends always end up being "crazy", their significant others are a string of disappointments and, perhaps, none of their jobs ever seem to work out. Their every financial trouble can be "chalked up" to nothing more than "bad luck". Of course, none of it is ever any fault of their own. Now, shift your mind to consider the most successful, prosperous and life-abundant person you know. You will likely have to strain in order to come up with any excuses at all.
So, How Do I Make This Storm Stop?
If you want to make the storm calm, you must first stop denying that you are the maker of the rain. This does not deny that you may have experienced unpleasant circumstances outside of your control, but you have chosen how to respond to each them. Someone else may be partly responsible for initially making your life rain down with lies, but it is your responsibility to now fill it with truth.
Someone else may be partly responsible for the shaping of who you grew up to be, but it's your responsibility to remold your structure. You are the architect. You are the builder. Figure out how you desire for the movie of your life to play out. Write it down, and commit to your script. You are the screenwriter and the casting director. And, yes, you control the emotional climate of every scene. It's your responsibility to determine whether the backdrop will consist of a torrential downpour or a lovely sunny day.
Growing up, you may have been delivered messages that were not beneficial to your self-esteem, to achieving your wildest dreams, to forming healthy relationships or to simply accepting yourself as you are, however you possess the control to clean every message from the closet of your mind and refill every crevice with whatever you choose. You have total control over your beliefs, and beliefs determine your life. Your beliefs determine if you drift or if you thrive. Nobody wins when you play the "blame game." Nobody grows when forced to swallow every shred of the fault. In fact, it's not about focusing on "fault" at all. I am only asking that you take responsibility now. I am asking that you stop giving your power away to a stupid, miserable storm.
Stop looking for someone to ride in, rescue you and take you safely to shelter. Stop waiting for the clouds to miraculously pass. Stop clawing for answers. Stop hiding your storm from others, and bravely bring it to light. Stop faking smiles, stop playing whatever fictitious role you have maintained as your reality, stop telling everyone that everything is "okay" when it isn't and, most importantly, stop rolling around in mud puddles. Stop choking on the monsoon that you have played a role in creating, silly. Begin to fill yourself with the reality of your infinitely powerful truth and, soon, the storm will calm as the sun begins to shine through the vanishing mist.
I'm just being honest.
Read the original version of this article by Lacey Johnson on The Daily Doll.