My Ode to 2008

01/31/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Oy, was the year 2008 a disaster,
For most of us it couldn't end any faster.
While companies dramatically cut their staff,
Tina Fey found new ways to make us laugh.

T'was not the year for Lehman, AIG or Bear,
Paulson thought his bailout would dampen the scare.
Many banks issued too much subprime,
And Madoff's scheme was an absurdly huge crime.

2008 offered quite the election,
With both parties fighting to set our nation's direction.
It took forever for Hillary Clinton's concession,
And Reverend Wright was not a good connection.

Things looked bleak for McCain 'til end of summer,
When he picked Palin and introduced Joe the Plumber.
She came in armed with a long hockey stick,
Assisting McCain, now a self-proclaimed Maverick.

And what is politics without the affair?
The Enquirer chased Edwards as he did swear.
Spitzer's alias was "Client Number Nine"
Forcing him to very quickly resign.

Goodbye to the buddy of the Sundance Kid,
And George Carlin who always outdid.
Tim Russert, too, who questioned with class and rigor
And Tony Snow, who fired back with the same vigor.

Miley Cyrus showed us a bit too much skin
O.J. was found guilty, much to his chagrin.
Michael Phelps swam like a fish in the sea,
And sweet Caroline hopes to head to D.C.

As we look towards 2009
Conflict still rages in Palestine,
The American people have a right to whine,
Still fighting two wars with an economy in decline.

Perfect conditions for me to graduate from college,
Clearly, still, without much poetic knowledge.
Nevertheless, I am asking for a job,
I am always on time and never a slob.

Please e-mail me with offers or even a suggestion,
For unemployment, according to my parents, is out of the question.

**Special thanks to David Riordan for helping make some sentences rhyme. He is also looking for a job!