12/12/2005 06:19 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Mel's New Holocaust Flick to be a Sizzler!

Look out Hollywood! Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the ovens, this Hollywood reporter has heard whispers that hunky Hollywood heartthrob Mel Gibson's next movie will tackle the Holocaust! I've learned that the sequel to The Passion of the Christ, tentatively titled "Passion of the Christ II: The Payback," should be hitting your television screens sometime next year!

My sources tell me that this movie about the events that too many people see as a dark time will be sizzling hot. Quinn Taylor, vice president of television movies for ABC, described the movie as something that will "explore an amazing love story that we can all learn from and hopefully be inspired by." Well, inspiration is nice, but my tongue is wagging over whether Mel will show his hot butt in a sexy Zyklon-B shower scene! If so, I'll Zyklon A-B-C ya on opening day!

Some people are getting nervous about how Mel will tell the story of the Holocaust. In particular, Mel's father, Hutton Gibson says of his son's decision to portray these events as history, that the Holocaust was "maybe not all fiction, but most of it is."

Gibson responded in an interview, of his father, "The man never lied to me in his life." But things could get a little hairy between Sexy, Sr. and Sexy, Jr. as Mel admits, "World War Two killed tens of millions of people. Some of them were Jews in concentration camps." Just not too many, I hope, or this movie could be quite the downer!

Since I love hearing as many juicy tidbits about Mel as I can, I decided to call the people that control Hollywood to tell me what else we might see! Deborah Cohn, a Jewish professor at the Jewish Yeshiva University in heavily Jewish New York City told me, "I think his aim is to portray Catholicism in the best possible light and to show the good deeds of Catholics in those times."

Finally! Once and for all someone will put to bed those pesky rumors that the Vatican turned a blind eye to the Holocaust! Thank you Mel for finally addressing all the good things Catholicism did to help the "some" who died in Concentration Camps! Hutton Gibson says there's a reason for all the rumors and why they need to be debunked.

"They're after one world religion and one world government," he says. "That's why they've attacked the Catholic Church so strongly, to ultimately take control over it by their doctrine."


"The man never lied to me in his life."

Somewhere, Pope Pius XII is looking down and winking and giving you the ol' "atta boy." So am I, Hutton and Mel!

Sadly, some people are complaining about this steamy hot romance based in a probably fictional death camp that only killed some people, and wondering whether Manly Mel can tell it right. To that, ABC's Taylor responds, "I would tell them to shut up and wait to see the movie, and then judge. Controversy's publicity, and vice versa." In other words, CHA-CHING! I bet Walt Disney's got a nice big ol' kiss for you when you get to heaven for making ABC-Disney a lotta moolah!

All the anger might be misdirected anyway. This reporter is told that there are some good giggle moments to lighten the mood. In a draft script leaked to me, in one scene, actor Danny Glover, who is to be killed just two days before his retirement is let off the hook when it's discovered he is not a Jew.

"I'm too old for this shit!" Glover says, exasperated.

Who isn't, Danny?? Not me! That's why I say Mel, take me to the land of Auschwitz for some fun times!