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Erica Cheung

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Confession: I've Been Wearing A Bra Since I Was 3

Posted: 08/09/2012 4:39 pm

Last week, ABC's "Good Morning America" ran a segment on teenage shapewear and "spankies," the mini versions of those suffocating, belly-flattening, imperfection-masking undergarments that adult women use under body-con dresses and the like.

According to the news, teens across America are using shapewear for the same reasons their moms do: to hide those so-called imperfections. Apart from the fact that this new trend is physically damaging to kids and can cause all kinds of problems from bladder infections to nerve damage, what is just as frightening is summed up in this comment from a teen: "You get the training bra and then you get the Spanx."

The idea that shapewear is increasingly seen as a necessity for girls is extremely disturbing. This suggests that young girls are internalizing the idea of a "perfect body" to such an extent that it's become a natural goal, i.e., when I grow up not only will I have breasts, but I will also have imperfections that need to be kept hidden.

I started wearing a training bra when I was three years old, not because I needed one or because I was self-conscious, but because I thought that bras were beautiful. I remember going to the department store with my mother and helping her pick out her bras, black ones, lacy ones, silky ones; they fascinated me.

I remember telling her that I wanted a bra and picking a sweet baby blue one that was lacy and too big for me. After all, I was only three years old. It was my camisole when I slept and I only really used it when I was five. I even wore it as a crop top (it was the 90s after all!).

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It's natural for little girls to want to copy their mothers, like that perennially cute image of the little girl in her mother's giant heels. My mom never forced me to wear a bra; I only wore it when I wanted to wear it. And like other little girls, I started wearing a real training bra when I was 11 or so.

The point is that I learned to see bras as articles of clothing that celebrate womanhood, but not as things that bound me to a particular image of what a woman should be. I don't think that being a woman means you have to wear a bra, but I do believe that bras are made for women (all kinds of women) and that's something to celebrate.

Most bras are made to support and add a certain level of comfort and security. Spanx are made to smooth out women's bodies and most women (at least the ones I know) utter a long sigh of relief once they go home and peel themselves out of them.

It's sad to see young girls thinking that they have to adhere to some kind of image of womanhood that is equivalent to perfection. I'm not saying that shapewear is bad. I'm saying that when girls think it is natural to wear shapewear (or bras for the matter) at such a young age, then childhood wonder turns into an internalization of what it means to be a woman, and that can be dangerous.

See some of our team's childhood beauty secrets below, and add yours!

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  • Katherine Fung, Associate Media Editor

    "This is me in a tracksuit."

  • Christopher Mathias, Associate Editor New York

    "ATHLETE."

  • Meredith Melnick, Nutrition and Fitness Editor

    "Don't be afraid of a statement headpiece, whether you're practicing Thai dance or reading Frances the Badger books."

  • Danielle Cadet, Associate Editor Black Voices

    "1. Be a trendsetter... I was rocking all blue everything before Jay-Z wore all black everything. 2. Always match your barrettes with your background. 3. Never take a class picture without a manicure."

  • Christiana Lilly, Assistant Editor Miami

    "You have little control over your parents mixing patterns when you are a child. Smile through it."

  • Leah Squires

    "Drive across the country for a month with just the dad and brother who couldn't give two sh**s about brushing hair or an outfit that works."

  • Kerstin Shamberg, Social Media Editor

    "I always wore pink!"

  • Joanna Zelman, Green Editor

    "Only strike a coy pose in pigtails and floral prints."

  • Jake Bailer, Innovations Editor

    "Star Trek t-shirt and bright turquoise pajama pants."

  • Stephanie Marcus, News Editor, Traffic & Trends

    "There's never a wrong time to wear a bucket hat."

  • Janet Varney, HuffPost Live LA

    "Learn the important Hollywood style standards nice and early..."

  • Curtis M. Wong, Associate Editor

    "You can dance...for inspiration!"

  • Adam Goldberg, Front Page Editor

    "A young Adam Goldberg, in awe of the world, wearing stylish overalls."

  • Annemarie Dooling

    "Wearing furry boots in Brooklyn back when Williamsburg was a scary neighborhood."

  • Ricky Camilleri, HuffPost Live Producer

    Be memorable. "This is my dads favorite pic of me and it has hung above his work desk since it was taken."

  • Jordan Turgeon

    "My must-have accessories? Scarf. Sunglasses. Done. Sadly, I had to sell the car when I moved to the city for rent money."

  • Kimberly Brooks, Founding Arts Editor

    "Macramé sweater vests were a must."

  • Sasha Bronner, Los Angeles Editor

    "Southern California one piece black bathing suit style."

  • Laura Shocker, Senior Editor, Healthy Living

    "Always buy a dress you can dance in ... and when in doubt go with the red (jelly) shoes."

  • Carly Schwartz, San Francisco Editor

    "Always pair your bright red bandana with your bright purple fleece."

  • Zoe Triska, Associate Books Editor

    "Neon will NEVER go out of style."

  • Priscilla Frank

    "Always wear tiara. Never look at camera."

  • Ani Vrabel, Associate Blog Editor

    "Start your hat collection early, or you'll never have any hope of getting an invite to a royal wedding."

  • Taylor Trudon, Associate Blog Editor

    "#newenglandcasual"

  • Lilka Kalick, Associate Blog Editor

    "Nothing says patriotism like American flag Keds ... and nothing is more stylish than matching your shirt to your ottoman."

  • Carla Lohr

    "A ruffle collar and Dorothy Hamill haircut was always a pageant favorite, especially in 1984."

  • Kiki Von Glinow, Associate Celebrity Editor

    "Same bangs. Same dress. Always."

  • Amanda Sterling, Associate Blog Editor

    "It was alllllll about the straight-across bangs."

  • Katherine Patke, News Editor

    It isn't a holiday dress without at least one petticoat, and there is no such thing as too poofy when it comes to sleeves. (Also, consider taking the wrapper off the chocolate before you try to eat it.)

  • David Lohr

    Maintain family traditions. "This is a photo of myself around age two in a cowboy outfit (left) and my son, also around two years old, in the same outfit years later. He is 15 now."

  • Katla McGlynn, Comedy Editor

    "Acid-wash overalls, cat-print sweatshirt and neon accessories make a great combination. Ray gun and fierce expression optional."

  • Clay Chiles, Blog Editor, Special Projects

    "If I could rock a double-breasted suit and bow tie this well at one year old, then there's no reason for me to fear them at 25."

  • Craig Kanalley, Senior Editor, Big News & Live Events

    "Can't go wrong dressing up like the TMNT!"

  • Carolyn Gregoire, Associate Editor, HuffPost Teen

    "Peter Pan collars are always a good choice (as are cat pins, obviously)."

  • Johanna Barr, News Editor

    "Don't buy a dress unless it has a matching purse attached to it."

  • Jessica Samakow, Associate Editors, HuffPost Parents

    "It's OK to embrace your beer (or apple juice) belly."

  • Sarah Klein, Associate Editor, Healthy Living

    "Add a belt to a shapeless dress to define your waist."

  • Rebecca Orchant, Assistant Editor, HuffPost Food/KitchenDaily

    "White overalls are probably always a good decision. Also, this is definitely still how I feel about cotton candy."

  • Jason St. Angelo, Associate Editor, HuffPost Sports

    "Nothing's changed from my Hall of Fame days."

  • Claire Fallon, Blog Editor, Special Projects

    "Stay consistant. This was back in my style phase of only wearing hugely oversized, sloganed T-shirts. That phase lasted for around 14 years. And that's my little brother, in classic understated black, napping on my shoulder."

  • Ashley Knierim, Editor, AOL.com

    "Always coordinate your hat to your outfit."

  • Rachel Tepper, Assistant Food Editor

    "What's a little drizzle? Not even rain could dampen my style."

  • William McGuinness, Senior Editor, HuffPost College

    "Cheese means 'Look up and smile. This could be shared with the Internet one day.'"

  • Nina Bahadur, Intern, HuffPost Women

    "It's always acceptable to spice up a floral romper with an oversized bow ... right?"

  • Lee Hernandez, Entertainment Editor, Latino Voices

    "Yee-haw!"

  • Emma Gray, Associate Editor, HuffPost Women

    "Don't be afraid to mix bold patterns ... or carry wands around. Also, Converse high-tops are always a classic choice."

  • Megan Barreto, Senior Programming Manager

    "Sportin' the winter vest and enjoying a Pabst Blue Ribbon with my twin brother and friend (who also enjoys winter vests)."

  • Alicia Ciccone, Associate Editor, HuffPost Money

    "Dressing up is always fun."

  • Kate Bratskeir, Associate Editor, Healthy Living

    "When your outfit is bad, hide behind dad."

  • Emily Cohn, Money Editor

    "The best way to sport a one-piece is by wearing a diaper underneath."

  • JTude

    <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/wredgranny814"><img style="float:left;padding-right:6px !important;" src="http://i.huffpost.com/profiles/1070064-tiny.png?20120726064908" /></a><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/wredgranny814">wredgranny814</a>:<br />Total feminine attitude!

 

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george martini
I wasn't always this introverted.
07:23 AM on 08/20/2012
My hefty cousin Timmy has been wearing a sports bra since he was 13 to prevent self injury inflicted when running on the track team.
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averagezoe
Don't breed or buy while homeless animals die!
08:12 PM on 08/15/2012
I have never heard of Spanx except for an odd commercial where they show this bizarre bodystocking type thing. Looks hideous and uncomfortable. The only time in my life I've ever worn a bra was when I was very pregnant and even that was torture. I simply can't envision wearing one of thoes hideously restrictive things and have never even owned one - I borrowed the bra I wore in the last 2 months of pregnancy from a friend. A tight little shirt worn under regular clothes is all I've ever needed and I am definitely not flat chested.
07:55 PM on 08/15/2012
skinny 3 year old girl :-p..need eat well ... she wear sport bra dosen't the matter.. i was kid and my sister old fashioning shirt bra and short pant summer time, look cute.....

panel 13, too cute , older girl with smurf doll:))) old toy....
panel 14, that Christina 's face look like mine i was kid., nose , mouth and eye brows.not that hair... i have nature hair.......

many year ago syle old clothes like dress flake and satin and pj and summer clothes too.. and swim suit all fashioning......
07:35 PM on 08/15/2012
We all remember corsets and then girdles..women have been trying to hide imperfections forever...Spanx is nothing new,just a glorified more comfortable version of corsets and girdles. The corset was worn by young women but not by children...I can remember yearning for a training bra but my mother would not allow it until I had something to put in it !!
06:04 PM on 08/15/2012
This doesn't look much like a bra, but more of a half camisole. But 3 seems a bit young for a child to dictate what mom should buy. When I was a girl, we wore undershirts which I hated & I longed for pretty undergarments, but my mom said no way & when I was 13 it was appropriate. What's right for any family though is their business.
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missyinSoCal
He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke
06:00 PM on 08/15/2012
3 years old and wanting a bra? That's just kind of weird.
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redvelvetflames
am the wound and the blade, both the torturer....
05:11 PM on 08/15/2012
What is sad about this story is the mother allowed it. Children cannot make purchases!
04:42 PM on 08/15/2012
way off topic but me and my wife live in Texas but want to travel by car somewhere is Georgia really a good place to visit? or Tennessee?
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redvelvetflames
am the wound and the blade, both the torturer....
05:13 PM on 08/15/2012
GA is beautiful especially Savannah. TN was fun but then again don't think I would have really enjoyed it had it not been for my friends who live there.
11:10 PM on 08/15/2012
Thanks for the tip!
Dee Pittsburgh
Knocking you over your head with the truth
08:16 PM on 08/15/2012
No come to Pittsburgh...baseball is good now and Steelers are playing...
11:10 PM on 08/15/2012
Might do that.. I like me some Steelers!
04:40 PM on 08/15/2012
why would a 3 year old girl need a bra?, their breasts don't develop until sometime in their later teens.
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redvelvetflames
am the wound and the blade, both the torturer....
05:17 PM on 08/15/2012
You can begin to develop as early as 8 to 8 1/2 as in my nieces case. in my friends case her daughter was 10 and just turned 11 this year. It is not later teens although the average age is 12 when it begins. The 3 year old did not need it. For her, in her innocent baby mind it was a pajama as she wrote. Almost like a new toy. Unfortunately, in my opinion the mother should have NEVER given in to that request.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jelun
06:37 PM on 08/15/2012
I am not sure why a mother wouldn't buy one for her child, people buy "make up" for their children, kitchens, easy bake ovens... it is just part of playing grown up.
07:26 PM on 08/15/2012
thanks for the tip and you raise a good point 
06:17 AM on 08/27/2012
3-yr old with a bra? Fine for dress-up I suppose - not "need", but later teens is WAY too late for most girls in regard to "maturity". (One of my brothers was teaching middle school, and half his 15-yr old girls were visibly pregnant, some had just turned 15 - Indiana)

Decades ago I moved to Texas (from the midwest), as did a lot of my coworkers. One of the topics that came up at parties were how the girls were so developed in Texas compared to where nearly everyone "was from"; (genetics, hot weather?). More than a few of the guys were complaining that their wives had begun showing insecurity in that regard, and they were bothered by that behavior, and were seeking advice on how to respond...

Also, (area news) within the last year or two, several strip clubs in the Dallas TX metroplex area were raided for having underage dancers, with some as young as 12!!??? (No, they did NOT look like little girls in the news coverage (only faces digitally obscured))
04:32 PM on 08/15/2012
An infant can wear a bra - so what is the big deal. Why is this girl in the news???????????????????? What a waste of ink.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
myrnafaye
10:20 PM on 08/15/2012
No kidding - but thats the Huff Post for you..
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
BigWillyG
04:23 PM on 08/15/2012
TMI is my only reaction to this article.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
northernwolff
Does anybody really know what time it is?
03:58 PM on 08/15/2012
Did you ever cut a waist line?
03:46 PM on 08/15/2012
I have to ask why do ladies always talk about this for them but never a mention of men? When they started to make the luke skywalker toys again Mark Hamil said wow they put me on steroids, I always hear ladies say this about ladies but never talk about the fact that men are also shown images that for most are not realistic. I mean watch some movies from the 70s or 80s what was once a good sized guy is not pretty small compared to what is shown in the movies today. Seems to me you just want to complain that you have to work yet at the same time expect me to be in the gym all the time or you want nothing to do with me. I know you always say how shallow men are but I had cancer so I am well aware that when the chemo had me looking like a stick man ladies wanted nothing to do with me but once I put the weight back on now they think we should hang out I just want to hear one lady comment about the body image men are shown just one time in my life, if you expect me to be in shape then you know what I think its fair for me to expect the same from you.
03:43 PM on 08/15/2012
I don't know any girls that wear spanx to make themselves look better. Volleyball players have to wear spandex shorts, many girls wear them for sports like Soccer and Cross Country, and Cheerleaders wear spanx under their uniform so they don't flash anyone. Where did you get this information from? Because it doesn't sound correct.
05:26 PM on 08/15/2012
Do you live in a bubble? Is this a joke?
NancyY
carpe diem!
09:48 PM on 08/15/2012
Girls who are actively engaged in sports typically do not have a need to wear the 'spanx' and stuff - they are already fit. I think that sports are a great way for a girl to both stay healthy and understand how valuable her body is, by seeing what her body can do.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Kelly Carroll
03:35 PM on 08/15/2012
I am much more comfortable in a bra, but I refuse to wear Spanx. I think they are torture devices. I do not need to be smoothed out, or tucked in, or suffocated to fit someone else's ideal of perfect. I am in decent shape and a healthy weight. Even if I was overweight, no amount of Spanx is going to make me appear in better shape. The only people getting fooled are those spending an insane amount of money on an illusion.

I agree with the overall message of this story, but I am disturbed that a Mother would buy her child a bra at 3, even though she didn't need one. Oversexualization of our children is happening so much that it's viewed as normal, and it's very wrong. Toddlers and Tiaras comes to mind.

Kids at younger and younger ages are allowed to drink coffee, wear make-up, and eat garbage that they have no business eating before they even have hardened enamel. Young girls are getting their eyebrows and legs waxed, manis and pedis, and the only reason these things were created was to emphasize body parts and make them more appealing to the opposite sex. It is super mess up.