Save the Economy: Throw Your Shoes At Bush!

Did it really happen?
Did I dream it?
Did the lame duck duck, or did I imagine it?
Have I finally lost each and every one of my marbles, once and for all?

Earlier today, I could swear that I saw Bush in Baghdad, surreal enough certainly, but then it looked an awful lot like a journalist with an Iraqi television network threw his shoes at Bush. Just tossed them right at him! Bush ducked, so may we safely say, please somebody, that at least for that particular nanosecond, the insulated, inoculated-against-reality Bush, knew that someone somewhere was displeased with him? That he had received a very personal, very serious Muslim insult? I doubt it registered, nothing does, but I can honestly say that for me, it was one of maybe a handful of moments during the Bush Imperial Presidency, The Interminable Reign of the Super Doofus, that I could watch him on television without wanting to shriek, pull every hair out of my head or move to Sweden immediately.

Look, an economics genius I'm not, in fact, if I've ever managed to actually balance my checkbook, I'm sure it was quite by accident, like the faulty clock that's right twice a day no matter what.

But have we not perhaps stumbled upon some glimmer of hope here economically? For Wall Street, the auto industry, me, you and everyone else who is hurting? A different type of stimulus package, a bailout with some teeth to it?

What if we could all throw our shoes at Bush? At Cheney? At Condi, Rummy, Wolfie, hell, let's throw in Blago, Howdy Doody's doppelgänger, while we're at it, just for a real treat. I'd pay to do it, wouldn't you? And not those mushy, soft, running shoes in the back of your closet, from when Reagan was president, the ones that have lost their oomph. Ladies, I am talking about your highest-heeled, priciest shoes. The shoes so pointy and so high, that when you close your eyes in them, you can swear you're somewhere in the vicinity of the Jungfrau, the air is so thin, so rarified.

Let's face it, the guy should be rotting in prison for the rest of his days. Instead, he'll get to play J.R. Ewing with Miss Ellie, in Dallas, so what about having a few sabots and saboteurs injected into the scenario?

It's time to pull together. Quick! Snatch back your Manolo sling-backs, steamy Charles Jourdan pumps, your Prada Satin d'Orsays and your favorite Christian Louboutin Feather Ankle-Wraps from eBay. Come on, you'll never be able to sell them now anyway, and your ankles, your spinal column and your poor squeezed-in tootsies will thank you.

Step right up! Me, I'm woefully unemployed, but I'll gladly take my prized Nine Wests, broken and battered and reconditioned about 187 times, and do the deed.

So be patriotic. Fling a shoe and save your country's economy! The lines will form from here to the moon. Just news of this will revive the entire tourism industry because everyone from everywhere, all over the globe and beyond, will all want to grab a plane, come here and hurl a shoe, toss a stiletto or two at Bush & Company. World leaders and their wives will surely line up with special alacrity and who knows, Carla Bruni's shoes alone might be the boost we're looking for. In any case, the coffers will fill so swiftly that before we know it, the country will be back on its economic feet with money to spare. And let's face it, we can't really stand in heels on the unemployment lines now, can we?

What better use could there possibly be for all those shoes, now that we can't afford to wear them anywhere anyway? Gather your wing-tips, your loafers, platforms, wedges, ballet flats, peep toes, ratty sneakers, your sandals, spats, Mary Janes, your boots and scruffiest slippers. All shoes accepted, with any and all toe cleavage, no waiting. Operators are standing by!

Of course none of us will have any shoes left to wear to Obama's inauguration parties, but I for one, will be only too happy to go barefoot.

Comments

[davidddownie]

I took your advice, tacked a photo of Bush and Cheney on my office wall, and have been throwing my shoes at said image for many days now. The neighbors aren't happy--this is Paris, and people usually don't throw their shoes at the walls of their tiny apartments. I was going to cobble together a string of shoe puns--how I feel like a heel because for the last eight years I haven't come up with anything nearly as clever as the shoe trick, etc...--but have held back. This is a serious matter. What I have also done is to paste a small image of Bush on the sole of one shoe, with another image of Dick on the other, and I have taken them out to explore the "horizontal pollution" on Paris' sidewalks. No, those are not the same shoes I have been throwing at the wall. There are limits.
In fact, what I really meant to suggest in this comment is, that we stop with the shoes already and simply throw the book at Bush and Cheney and the rest of the Gang of Forty--the neo-cons (misnamed--they're simply cons, as in con men and con women). T'row de book at 'em! ddd

[mikaillaflorence]

Instead of throwing your shoes or creating mayhem at the White House by mailing your shoes, take a picture, in solidarity with Al Zaidi, take a picture in the name of peace and an end to war,

Upload the picture to this site:
www.thankyouforthrowingyourshoe.com

[Tom Joad]

the global catharsis continues...

[Tom Joad]

I've got a fever, and the only cure is more shoe throwing...

[Tequendamia]

The shoe attack was a barbarian act committed against the man who liberated over a million Iraqi souls from their bodies. What a gratitude!!

[givebushtheboot]

givebushtheboot.com

a website dedicated to letting bush know how he feels before he leaves office...lets send him our old shoes to show him our displeasure..
send em your old shoes...or donate shoes in his name......or throw your shoes on his lawn.

givebushtheboot.com

[EStreetShuffler]

That is the dumbest thing I've read in a long time.

You understand that he's leaving office next month, right? The big message we wanted to send was sent last month at the polls.

If we want to be seen as moving forward, then let's move forward and not pile on some more. Kicking a guy while he's walking out the door is classless. He is our president and even if you disagree with every decision he's ever made, he shouldn't be treated like a bum in last days in office.

You think our new president thinks this is good use of our time and energy?

[rbryanh]

Wonderfully tempting though it may be, throwing things at other people qualifies as violence, which W has amply demonstrated is the last refuge of the desperately incompetent. Instead, consider that we still have thirty-something days to throw shoes at the White House. With a little effort we could bury the building in them, completely hiding it from view during the final, shameful days of the worst President in American history.

And once W has returned to his fantasy of playing Larry Hagman, Obama could take office and donate the shoes to people who need them. Think about it... How often do you get the chance to contribute to charity while brutally insulting someone you quite rightly despise?

Shoes. Let's get some shoes.

[davidddownie]

that's a shoe-in for the best suggestion yet!
ddd

[motoGpifupleez]

Well, well, I guess all those W detractors can shut up now that he has faced the withering fire at the front line of the war on terror. Duck and cover, baby!

[Virginia Plain]

The reporter had obviously been "bushed" too far!

Here's looking forward to President Obama. A man with a real sole who will heel a lot of wounds. :o)

[Erica Heller - Huffpost Blogger]

Nonsense. I have immense pride in my country, for electing Barack Obama on November 4th.
36 Days.

[DontBeFoolish]

People, I also am not a Bush fan. However, to allow someone from another country to insult our President is Bull#$%^. Where is your pride America. Here's the real funny thing about this incident. If Saddam was still in power, that reporter would of been KILLED for this outrage.

What does America do, we laugh like it"s a joke. This is not a joke people. I know that I am probably going to hear it from all of the #$%^ starters on this blog, but you all know that I am telling the truth. Again, I dislike George Bush. I have criticized him on HP as much, if not more than the most of you.

However, a level of respect & protection must be maintained for any U.S. President, no matter how much of a screw up he/she is. America, we can vote out, and even impeach our screwed up politicians. Iraq could not, until we helped them obtain the freedoms that they now enjoy. Remember, it was Bush that they called, and played upon, for help to obtain the freedom that they now have. Our soldiers have died for them, and they show this kind of disrespect.

Those IRAQI people enjoying this, are full of #$%^. Yeah, that's right, I said it, Your full of #$%^. Regardless to how screwed up the war was, you are now FREE. America, get a grip. He is still a United States President.

[Shaddup]

Umm, obviously you and I saw a different war. hint: they're not free. Hell, four million of them aren't even in the country any more.

[debbrob]

hmmmmmm, if I am remembering the past seven years correctly, the Iraqi people did not call on Bush to help them. Bush and company made that call on their own, and we should hate them for hating him as well as us? Nope, don't think so.

As for it being insulting to our country that such an act was purpertrated (sic) upon a sitting president, well, in Bush's words, "so what?" To be respected, you have to earn respect. Obviously, he had respect from enough Americans that he was legally voted into office (thus ending his four year squat), but once there, the American people had every right to expect a president who would be worthy of our respect. I respect the office, but I do not respect the man. He has done nothing in eight years to earn it. Which is why I used my right as an American to vote him out.

GO OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. I have some shoes from Wal-Mart I can chip in to the White House bin.

[Tom Joad]

an ignominious exclamation point to an ignominious question mark.

[Tom Joad]

who needs a hug?

[cburell]

Support the journalist. Post your own shoe-Bush photos, image, or video at http://shoesforbush.blogspot.com

International submissions welcome.

[Skydancer365]

I'm going to do it! I've got lots of old shoes. I might even send some to Dicky, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner and James Inhofe while I'm at it.

Senator Mitch McConnell
361-A Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510

Representative John Boehner
H-204 The Capitol
Washington, DC 20515

Senator James Inhofe
453 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510-3603

[IneptitudePrideB4Fall]

Bush finally found the Iraq weapons he was looking high and low for. Bush should have looked mostly low.

[Navision]

Excellent comment

[Kiku]

Let's give Bush the boot.