So far I've written over 100 entries for the Encyclopedia of Gratitude, a wide-ranging compendium of things to be grateful for. Over the course of this project, I've learned a bit about gratitude.
Asking "What is gratitude?" is not that different from asking "What is love?" It's a deceptively simple question, and hard to put into words. However, at this point I can definitely tell you what gratitude is not.
Gratitude is not "just a flesh wound!"
Most of the stuff written about gratitude mistakes it for extreme positive thinking. It looks like the scene in Monty Python's Holy Grail where the knight gets his arms hacked off and says, "Tis but a scratch."
Gratitude does not mean denying reality, sadness, grief or loss. On the contrary, it's about acknowledging all those things. In fact, feelings of sadness and loss can often lead you to greater feelings of gratitude.
For example, contemplating how alone we appear to be in a vast universe devoid of any signs of life might make you grateful for this precious life-sustaining blue planet. On the other hand, maybe it just makes you want to go shopping, which brings us to...
Gratitude is not "OMG, I'm so grateful for my BMW!"
Gratitude is not a cover for self-congratulatory materialism. It is not a way to easily transform wrong livelihood into right livelihood. (Maybe driving a BMW doesn't automatically make you such a person, but it does pair nicely with OMG.) And speaking of OMG...
Gratitude is not necessarily "Thank God!"
Gratitude is a human emotion that can be felt by anyone regardless of religion. If you believe in a personified God, gratitude is a feeling you can direct toward God. If you believe in God, but not in a personified God, then gratitude is a feeling you may connect with God, but not necessarily one you direct to a personified God. In any case, we can all definitely direct gratitude toward people, nature, inventions, music, food, the present moment, feelings of awe, existence, family. (Not coincidentally, these categories form the navigation in the Encyclopedia of Gratitude.)
In many ways, the present moment is all we have. When you're grateful for the present moment, you see past regrets as necessary steps that brought you here.
Incidentally, part of what makes Colbert's impersonation of a pompous professional idiot so hilarious is that the character is completely ungrateful to anyone and routinely sees his success as purely self-earned.
Gratitude is not an end-zone dance.
We spend so much energy striving and grasping for the brass ring. We want to prove that we alone can do it. So when we achieve our goals, we celebrate our victory. We have asserted ourselves! Yeah! Awesome!
To feel gratitude is to step outside of asserting the self. Gratitude acknowledges interconnectedness. No one reaches the mountaintop alone.
Now you might think, "I don't want to stop striving." Don't worry, you won't. Gratitude is a state and as with any state, you can't stay in it forever. But getting in that state more often can counterbalance the drive for pure self-glorification. You might remain as driven as ever--but what you're striving for could change.
There, I've said what gratitude isn't. As with love, you have to experience gratitude to know what it is.
Thanks for reading this. I'm grateful for the opportunity to have a voice (for something other than placing my order at the drive thru).
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.