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Erika Christakis

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What Do Women Want: The Cinematic Wasteland of Female Fantasy (Part Two)

Posted: 02/22/2012 9:00 am

When we last saw Bella, in the Twilight series, her single-minded ambition was eternal life with Edward Cullen. Even for young readers, her fixation feels a bit... limiting. I could handle the teen marriage, but why couldn't she just go to Dartmouth, already, and have her hybrid vamp-baby later? Before leaping on the author's religion and her own early marriage as explanations for this low-ball career path, consider how fun it would be to fast-track all the usual stepping-stones to adulthood.

Forget about taking the SATs and going to college. Forget about car payments and health insurance. Forget about finding time for date night or an assisted living facility for your aging parents. You don't even have to plan your own Vogue photo-shoot wedding because your gorgeous vampire sister-in-law happens to be the world's most awesome party planner. Let others do the heavy lifting; in fantasy land, ambition sucks.

Bella's helplessness can be incredibly annoying -- Edward always cooks for her, even though she makes dinner every night for her dad and Edward doesn't even eat human food -- but it's only maddening when viewed in the context of real life. Who doesn't dream of shirking responsibilities and being indulged? In this age of anxiety and the "End of Men," I suspect many teenage girls are drawn to a character like Bella who marries up in such shrewd and spectacular fashion.

The most humorless and tone-deaf criticism of Twilight is the claim that Bella and Edward's relationship echoes patterns of real-life human domestic abuse. Edward is too controlling, Bella too submissive, so it goes. He carries her around a lot -- it just works faster that way. And sometimes he also scales the walls of her house to watch her sleep. I can attest with utter certainty that I'm not 'down' for a man rappelling into a bedroom window to gaze wondrously at my daughter while she sleeps. But the thing is, vampires don't sleep. So Edward is fascinated not only with Bella but with the notion of human sleep. Get it?

Personally, I think even a 12-year-old can grasp that it's okay to enjoy an elaborate kidnapping-cum-sleepover as fantasy even if you would be appalled to find the UPS driver or neighborhood perv sitting in your room in the middle of the night. Edward is just trying to protect Bella from bad vampires who want to kill her! And, anyway, he later apologizes for being a control freak -- unnecessarily, in my view. He was only being gallant, and there are a lot of dragons to slay out there.

Some of us get this. It pains me a bit to say this, but a certain segment of the heterosexual female population occasionally enjoys fantasizing about men who protect them. Sometimes women are even known occasionally to fantasize about men who are both protective and dangerous. A few of the same women who would be absolutely devastated and irreparably harmed by rape have even been known to have an occasional rape fantasy. Breaking news: Those women know the difference. Surely this is more comprehensible than the kind of men who don't know the difference and actually commit rape.

Critics also complain that Bella gives up too much to be with Edward. Her story arc -- protracted virginity, rough sex followed by demon pregnancy, and so on -- suggests the tired cliché that women, not men, suffer for their sexuality. But on the level of pure fantasy, this doesn't quite ring true for a number of reasons. For starters, Edward has to give up a lot to be with Bella, too.

He subsists on an unappetizing "vegetarian" diet of animal blood in order to maintain his tenuous perch on the human ladder. Over time, he manages to tamp down the voracious thirst for Bella's blood that he likens to heroin addiction -- but only after he has lost his love and believed her dead for a time. It's the unbearable pain of being without her that makes him able to manage his animal instincts.

Well, who wouldn't want to believe that love could be so ennobling? That a person would make a sacrifice -- giving up the possibility of, oh, multiple sexual partners, let's say -- in service of a greater love? It's an appealing fantasy, and I'd like to say it's a fantasy shared equally by men and women. But nothing in our culture suggests that is true. All things being equal, women still appear to value sexual fidelity more than men.

Critics are offended by the implied presumption that men are sexual predators, but a lot of teenage girls might argue differently. Sexual assault is committed overwhelmingly by men against young, fertile women (five percent of whom become pregnant from the rape, according to reliable estimates). Yes, it can happen to anyone; but it usually doesn't. Does that make men rapists at heart? Surely not. But you have only to wander the halls of a college dorm on a weekend night to see the ambivalence on young women's faces as they try to navigate the sexual politics of 21st-century hookup culture.

Divorce rates are way down among college-educated couples who delay marriage, and I doubt that more than a minority of 30-year-old women are planning to risk their significant emotional and financial investment in order to synch more than two calendars on Valentine's Day. Put another way: Women don't care for dog-like male behavior any more now than they ever did. There's still something about the baroque awfulness of men's cheating -- the Arnold Schwarzeneggers and Woody Allens and Dominique Strauss-Kahns -- that really makes a girl blanch. It's no wonder that Edward's efforts at self-control are so appealing.

Yes, I know, I've read the news: monogamy is out, "monogamish" in; even '70s-style open marriage, rebranded as "polyamory," is having its moment. It's true that young women are having an awful lot of sex these days, with a lot fewer strings attached, and rates of infidelity are reaching gender parity. But I'd like to know who invented these rules. Let's see some polling numbers on teenage girls who dream in their canopy beds about sharing their prom date in a girl-girl-boy threesome.

In fact, one of the more refreshing aspects of the Twilight story is the complete absence of inter-girl competition for boys' attention. It's Bella's emotional and sexual desires that drive the narrative. For all her blandness, Bella is always the star attraction in this show, and it's fun to watch the guys having at each other to be with her. A lot of ink has been spilled on Bella's sexual innocence; however, like most teenage girls, she's obsessed with losing her virginity and finds time to toy with more than one guy.

The story revolves in part around her attraction to not one, but two, incredibly strong and handsome supernatural males (not to mention the swarm of wimpy human boys she swats away like flies). We are deep into the saga before Bella definitively ditches Jacob, the werewolf runner-up, for her One True Love. I don't think this conflict is meant to be taken terribly seriously, and we're informed, to drive the point home, that Edward would probably win a hypothetical werewolf-vampire showdown, if it came to a duel. But it's certainly exciting to see a fictional girl at the center of an unstable love triangle for a change.

Furthermore, Edward is just as sexually inexperienced as Bella and, frankly, more of a prude. His ideas of courtship are literally Edwardian and he's holding out physically because he wants a marriage license first. "Where I'm from," the 100-year-old vampire explains earnestly, "It's how one says 'I love you.'" "At my age," Bella retorts, "It's how one says, 'I just got knocked up.'"

But after a lot of nagging and tearful fumbling in the four-poster bed he's masochistically bought for her, Edward eventually backs down and tries, rather ineptly, to initiate sex at the very end of Book Three. This development is omitted in the movie version, but Stephenie Meyer throws us a bone, so to speak, lest all this male fussiness begin to veer toward the repellant. Respecting a girl is one thing, apparently; being an idiot is quite another. But by then Bella has safely drunk the abstinence Kool-aid herself and agreed to do things "in the right order."

This all sounds rather grim, but the love story is entirely believable, and nowhere is this more apparent than during the infamous vampire-human wedding night. Hackles were raised over the broken headboard and bruised flesh, but an even more subversive element may be the expression of joy we see in the young couple as they make love for the first time. Can you recall when you saw genuinely romantic laughter during a movie sex scene?

Bella awakens bruised (but unhurt), not because she's been beaten, but because the kinks in what she calls the "tricky" business of interspecies sex haven't quite been worked out. "I think we did amazing," an obviously sated Bella reassures her sheepish husband after he's laid waste to the bedroom in lieu of injuring his wife. In the more effective and tenderhearted film version, we see the headboard splinter as he braces himself mid-PG-13-thrust. We catch a glimpse not only of his impressive, CGI-enhanced, musculature but also of his embarrassed and hesitant face. It's an expression familiar to millions of over-eager young men who are enjoying sex for the first time.

In lesser hands, this scene would have been played for comedy or horror. But the skilled director, Bill Condon, plays it real instead, showing Bella's calm reaction shot as she reassures her new husband that everything is going to be just fine. The largely female audience smiles knowingly. By playing it straight, with wit but not irony, we can fully embrace the fantasy, rather than viewing it from a snarky distance.

This is part two of a three-part series. Read part one here and check back on Friday for part three.

 
 
 
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10:36 AM on 02/26/2012
Having a beautiful story told by a female with such a strong first person character who becomes the real hero of the story with intelligence and love of her family is not what "most people" are used to reading about or seeing on the big screen. I really am convinced now that this is one of the reasons I fell in love with this saga. I have been wondering if maybe it is because there is something missing in my life that draws me so close to Bella. But, in reality it is not what is missing in my own life as much as what is missing in all of our lives, the female hero who is also a good, loving, character who is humble, but the strongest person in the entire saga. She is who I am most attracted to, because we need more people like that in all of our lives. Yes, we are all the strong women in our own lives, the mothers, the grandmothers, the wives, the sisters who take care of our families, selflessly, without regard for ourselves. Many of us do this without expectation of a thank you or a reward of any kind. But when we read about Bella and her sacrifice for all she loves, her bravery, her willingness to do anything for her family,we can all relate and we can now say to ourselves,finally someone gets what it is like to be a strong yet humble woman.
>
> Joni
pavementends42
Laugh at everything, apologize if it's inappropria
12:21 PM on 02/24/2012
There's no silver bullet, so to speak, for the problem of what women want. For some, this story seems ideal, for some, it seems like a nightmare. Why is everyone getting so worked up by the socio-sexual implications of a series of books that suck so very badly? (No puns intended, or forgiven.)
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Conservatively Yours
Yes, some of us believe in freedom.
09:24 PM on 02/24/2012
They only suck so badly in YOUR opinion. Apparently, millions of women worldwide don't agree with you. Neither does the box office take...
pavementends42
Laugh at everything, apologize if it's inappropria
10:08 AM on 02/27/2012
Yes, because popularity is the one and only measure of quality. Read a review. WATCH the bloody things. They're terrible, boring, the characters are utterly one-dimensional, unless you are a pubescent girl with a lip-biting problem?
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Cye
06:03 AM on 02/23/2012
Sometimes, when I want a good laugh, I get onto goodreads.com and type in "Twilight" and amuse myself with some of the cleverest, most biting and savagely funny reviews of that book. They never fail to make me laugh out loud.

But most importantly, they always remind me that, despite the painfully awful writing of Stephanie Myer and the equally painful success of her novels, the clever, humorous and insightful use of language still exist.
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cameron d
Good Guys Win
12:19 AM on 02/23/2012
"But why couldn't she just go to Dartmouth, already, and have her hybrid vamp-baby later?"

To be fair, based on the dialogue in the film it is pretty clear that none of the characters would be smart enough to get into Dartmouth.
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Conservatively Yours
Yes, some of us believe in freedom.
09:25 PM on 02/24/2012
LOL Sorry, but Edward would. In fact, he holds several doctorates. But, of course, this is fiction, remember? Vampires don't go to college. Nor are there such things as shapeshifters or clumsy girls like Bella who has every boy in school drooling after her. THIS IS FANTASY.
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MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
11:46 PM on 02/22/2012
And, of course, women's "fantasy" is fine and wonderful...while men's "fantasy" is vulgar and prurient and oppressive.
09:21 PM on 02/22/2012
As always, astute, well-reasoned, well-argued and spot on. My entire professional life has been educating about unhealthy relationships, so every time I encounter people banging the drum of Edward as an abusive partner or Bella as somehow subservient to him, it gets my hackles up faster than you can blink. Sadly, what I think the people banging that drum do not understand is the myths and minsinformation the propagate through labeling them as such. I will be the first to say that I was a bit concerned as to how the film would present the issue, particularly having received several media inquiries leading into the whole situation about the presentation of abuse in The Saga. I think Condon, along with leads Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, handled the situation beautifully.

The only correction I would post to your article is as follows: Robert Pattinson worked very hard to achieve that musculature. There are many CGI tricks in this film. THAT is not one of them. Could be one more reason whey some of us enjoy the film so very much.
12:43 AM on 02/23/2012
Second the rpatz muscle comment. He said he never wanted to take his shirt off during the series. He had to work out. When the filming ended so did the workouts!
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E V
10:48 PM on 02/23/2012
"My entire professional life has been educating about unhealthy relationships, so every time I encounter people banging the drum of Edward as an abusive partner or Bella as somehow subservient to him, it gets my hackles up faster than you can blink." No offense, but as someone with a background in corrections, criminology, etc....I wonder how some one with your claimed experience can look at these movies and NOT see the unhealthy undercurrents present in them.
I don't see an abusive relationship, but I see a toxic one that has the potential to become abusive and which is already extremely unhealthy.
A young girl is shipped away so her mom can enjoy her new with relationship with a man, and in turn this girl then develops an all consuming, infatuation with the first man to show more than a passing interest in her. Then, despite no explanation as to why they actually are attracted to one another, she proceeds to implode her life, giving up plans, destroying relationships with friends and family, risking her physical safety and well being, and being objectified by two men who can't respect her choices, and can barely even acknowledge she might have her own opinion on who she should be with.
And lets not forget the native American woman whose face was scarred when her boyfriend/husband turned into a wolf and disfigured her and when she tells Bella about it she says "he didn't mean to do it".
12:55 AM on 02/24/2012
My "claimed" experience is as both a survivor of a violent relationship and an advocate and educator for a dozen years. I never intimated that there are not aspects of ALL of the relationships in these novels/films that fall outside the realm of perfect. All of the characters have flaws and issues to work past. Hmmm, sounds eerily similar tovreal life, wouldn't you say?

These novels/films are fantasy and show situations that could never happen in real life. It is inappropriate to try to pull them into real life because the supernatural elements of the story, their crucial role in the exact situations, cannot be overlooked. For instance, Emily's injuries would not have happened if her fiancee did not specifically turn into a giant wolf. If it had been any other form of injury, you have a valid argument. You cannot divorce the supernatural elements from the story and attempt to discuss it as if anything close to the same situation would happen in their absence.

To address your larger question, I actually use The Saga to generate discussion specifically about healthy relationships because of the growth in the characters. People harp on Bella's quote-unquote throwing her future away to try to spin some cautionary tale. What future did she throw away? She first becomes a wife and mother. Is that something to be devalued?
01:04 AM on 02/24/2012
(Contd)If your answer is yes, than I dare you to say that to the millions of women in this country and around the world who spend every day doing exactly that; a job I know I could not do without losing my mind. They are stronger women than I for sure. What else does she give up? She joins a family with unlimited resources and gains immortality, thus allowing her unlimited ability to attend every university many times over. She doesn't sacrifice any relationships in the end either, even getting to keep her friendship with the partner in her emotional infidelity.

I use The Saga to generate discussion about healthy relationships because, all things relative, there is actually growth and maturation to be seen from both protagonists. Examples of learning to trust, surrendering insecurities and learning appropriare boundaries are all abundant in the text, if you want to see them.
05:42 PM on 02/22/2012
It is nice to read something which isn't contemptuous about Twilight - I too think the saga has a lot to say about female psychology today and so wrote a book about it called 'Twilight, True Love and You', published in the UK, to be distributed in the States later this year. The book is about what we can learn from the Twilight fantasy about ourselves and how love works in real life.
I agree that the popularity of the Twilight saga gives an insight into our fears regarding childbirth, sex, love and relationships with men. And do you think Edward's ability to give us eternal youth and immortality as well as unconditional love are a big part of his attraction in an age when many are losing confidence in the existence of God and the afterlife?
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E V
10:54 PM on 02/23/2012
The only thing Twilight is an insight into is the typical young, Mormon girls life plans. I grew up in a very Mormon community and the majority of the aspire to: Go to school long enough to find a man, get married, drop out, and have babies. Meyers has just thrown in a twist of supernatural and described her own life with a little more flair. Who wouldn't rewrite our life as a little more interesting?
The Twilight saga doesn't give insight into "our" anything, it gives insight into the people who embrace it something to aspire to.
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blacksmithn
Iron, cold iron, is master of them all...
05:30 PM on 02/22/2012
So far, what I've learned in sum from the two parts of this series is that women really, really want to watch c.r.a.p.p.y films about controlling vampires who treat them like helpless children.

I have to say this doesn't gibe with my own experience. None of the women I know are helpless, childlike, or have expressed the slightest interest in vampirism. So, yet again, as a man I'm left puzzled by the eternal question-- what do women really want?
12:49 AM on 02/23/2012
It's not the vampirism. It's the notion that a man will love you and only you for all eternity no matter how old you get or how you look. That he will sacrifice his own existence for yours and try to do everything possible to make you happy so that you don't have to change who you are to make him happy. Whats so hard to understand?

I guess if the movie were called Hall Pass where the men are given a week off from marriage to have sex with anyone they wanted it would probably make more sense right?
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blacksmithn
Iron, cold iron, is master of them all...
09:54 AM on 02/23/2012
Great. So women don't want a lover, companion, or even an actual man so much as they essentially want an appendage, sublimated (if you can call it that) solely to their own desires. Got it. But isn't that what men are always accused of wanting, as we see in your parting shot?
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Ampoliros
Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus!
12:16 AM on 02/24/2012
Except that Bella will never get old and flabby, and neither will Edward. I mean a man hanging out in a high school would be arrested for being creepy, but a 116 year old heart throb is just fine!

And if he's been stuck in puberty for over 100 years, then no, he's not sane anymore.
01:48 AM on 02/23/2012
Have you actually read this article? Bella isn't childlike-- she's the one who essentially takes care of her parents. Christakis mentions how women want men who can take care of them. The perceived childish behaviour of both Edward and Bella can be attributed to the fact that they are, in fact, teenagers and therefore will be prone to their own hormones. Vampirism hardly plays into the main argument of what women want, and Christakis doesn't mention it at all.

I think as a man, you are being distracted by the 'crappiness' of the films and/or too jaded to understand the simple, pure love story Stephenie Meyer has created. Supernatural events aside, its just about a girl and a boy who fall in love and have to deal with the tribulations of potential competition (Jacob) and adult problems (the first year of marriage and a difficult, unplanned pregnancy).
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E V
11:00 PM on 02/23/2012
What love story is present in the movies? I till this day do not know what Bella and Edward like about each other. Most romance build up a connection, commonalities, etc, that support two people being together or being "meant for each other". I never saw any of that in Twilight.

I see a girl who's sort of adrift and alone in a new place latching onto the first serious attention she receives from a guy. Even Bella doesn't seem to know why she like Edward half the time - but he's there and he's immortal so the chances of him loving her FOREVER are good.
04:39 PM on 02/22/2012
I think if you were doing an article on "the cinematic wasteland of female fantasy", you could look in WAY more places than just Twilight. Look at daily "soaps". They have been followed for decades by a female audience 5 days a week. The story lines never range beyond the usual - woman falls in love with rich, sensitive, strong man who has little identity aside from "her man/protector". Her motives are often little more than marrying that man which results in the hillarious issue of women on these shows being married like 37 times if their career is lengthy enough.

Look at romantic comedies. Pretty much all the same story of women having to deal with men who just don't understand that they really want to change and get married, they just don't realize it yet. Women often have little identity on these movies other than career driven bitch or desperate single looking for love.

Hell, just look at women's magazines which often do more to sell an unrealistic image of women's bodies or what a healthy relationship means than anything men's magazines do. I mean, if Cosmo's sex tips/secrets "to drive him wild" were all that great or original or even true, then why do they need 10 to 25 (sometimes close to 100) new tips ever single issue for the past like 30 years? It is selling a fantasy....which clearly there is a HUGE demand for.
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Conservatively Yours
Yes, some of us believe in freedom.
09:36 PM on 02/24/2012
Agree Mools. Soaps are mindless drivel and they've been going on for DECADES. Where is the feminist outrage??? Where are the domestic violence advocates? The suicide hotline advocates?? Hell, let's not forget the environmentalists!

This is fiction. This is fantasy that some women like. Some men like movies with cars crashing into each other and men riddling each other's bodies with bullets. Some like movies with superheroes who fly and their cars turn into robots. We don't sit around in forums dissing men's fantasy films. We don't theorize about how these films may be contributing to domestic violence by the violent scenes in them.

Lighten the hell up.
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elamatt
Ever the optimistic realist
02:59 PM on 02/22/2012
It's not just the "girls" who've read this drivel, it's the multitudes of girls who shared the books with Mom--or maybe it was the reverse! I taught 9th grade English Lit and if I had one more research/novel project on Bella and Edward the fall of '08, I thought I might vomit in class. Of course the students never knew that. The vampire story line(??!) was just too "juicy", perhaps??
Holypat777
When the man comes around-JC
01:51 PM on 02/22/2012
Twilight make Homer something something . . . (Not in a good way either!)
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gulopartisan
My micro-bio is still empty.
01:28 PM on 02/22/2012
I assume this is satirical?
02:39 PM on 02/22/2012
I can only hope so. To excuse his abusive behaviors as protective actions is as flimsy an excuse as it is for those who offer the same explanation for the violent and controlling deeds of real-life abusers.
12:39 AM on 02/23/2012
Please provide books, chapters and page numbers of the abuse. Edward refused to have sex after the first time because of the bruising. And Bella even says in the book that her skin marks easily.
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Conservatively Yours
Yes, some of us believe in freedom.
09:18 PM on 02/24/2012
You're absurd. There is NO abuse in this book.

THIS IS FICTION! You DO know that vampires don't exist...right? And common sense would tell you that if a superhuman being such as a vampire weren't careful around a fragile human then he would inadvertently hurt her. This cannot even be COMPARED to real life domestic abuse in which there is intent to harm. You people are so effing ridiculous. Go find something truly horrible to comment on.

Try the "SAW" movies. What are THEY teaching our youth? Torture is cool? Torture is entertainment??? There are a lot worse things in this world than this harmless paranormal romance.