Editor's note: Stacey Lawson's weekly column will return Monday, April 7th.
For as long as I can remember I've been a raging pessimist. My father tells me it's in our "black Irish" genes to be not only the "glass is half-empty" type, but rather the "glass (an inferior one at that) is totally empty" type. I have my moments of shiny, happy optimism- but the conditions have to be just right- sunny and warm, a weekend day with money to spend in my pocket and friends around me. I tend to live life waiting for the other shoe to drop or the sky to fall and wonder if both sides of my bed are the wrong one. I don't want to be this way; in fact it's a miserable way to go about daily living. And so after hearing much chatter about how "positive thinking" can change your life, I turned to the only beacon of knowledge I trust: Oprah.
My not-so-secret vice happens to be all things Oprah. Her show, her magazines- I drink the Oprah Kool-Aid and then I go back for refills. Recently, she has been heavily pushing a new book club book The New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. A bible, per se, of living a peaceful, happier existence through eliminating negative thinking, your ego and toxic emotional baggage. After reading her previously featured positive thinking tome, The Secret and finding it too gimmicky, I was wary. The whole "power of attraction" thing seems to fail in logical reasoning terms when applied to things such as terminal illnesses or a loved one's untimely death. You cannot simply "positive think" these things away or not allow them to affect you. Not to mention that I was not able to "positive think" myself a pair of white leather Barcelona chairs either, no matter how sunny and optimistic I was. Hardly the point, but highly disappointing.
However, when a painfully injured back collided with a bad mood one afternoon in a bookstore, I found myself purchasing The New Earth. Perhaps this newest publication would unlock the secret to attaining, as Ace Ventura so skillfully put it, "omnipresent super-galactic oneness." It was worth a shot, especially after seeing that almost a million people all over the world had signed up for Oprah's online class with the author. I felt attracted to the idea of overhauling my often-gloomy brain with positive affirmations and seeing what it brought about. Not to mention the subtitle, which promised the evasive answer to the purpose of life, was very intriguing. Doesn't everyone want to be awakened to his or her true "purpose" after all?
The recent popularity of the Buddhist-tinged "be present" / "power of positive thinking" movement is understandable given the state of the world. Violence, disease, war, a volatile economy, lowered morals and an overall grim future forecast have caused an epidemic of pessimism. We, as people, have to find some hope that there are better things on the horizon or fear collectively losing our minds. The premise of this "positive" movement focuses on the belief that this "new" way of facing the trials of daily life will perhaps be the thing that brings some change to society, or at least allow us to sustain in such unsure circumstances. I was eager to hear the reasoning behind this belief from Mr. Tolle.
Can a small change on an individual level create societal change? I found myself at first, naturally, being pessimistic about it. Big shock there. But I was soon frantically underlining passage after passage, while feeling wonderfully connected and understood. He is not trying to say that if we all think happy thoughts, we'll receive magnanimous good fortune, as I was expecting. But rather that if we just stop being so stressed out by every little issue that arises and simply soak up the present moment, we will see and feel a change. The little things will become more valuable and meaningful to us. I began reading passages out loud to my husband, who does not need such a book, as he is the Tigger to my Eeyore- perpetually positive, bouncy and accepting of whatever comes his way. But for me, there was such a resonance in the author's dissection of what plagues society, namely the quest for more, more, more. And I was clearly a part of the problem.
Our personal identification and sense of value by way of material things -- jobs, money, fame and power -- have caused us to become a vapid and ego driven society, the kind that creates a marketplace for pathetic "hire-your-own paparazzi" companies like www.celeb4aday.com. Among us are those who would actually pay to be stalked by fake paparazzi in order to get a taste of the cult of celebrity- something we've created into a sort of religion. We all aren't that egocentric, but examples of our shallowness don't have to be that extreme. I for one, sometimes struggle with the feeling of needing to validate my existence through a wildly successful career and/or material goods. Even though I have learned time and time again that a bigger home or designer handbag brings me nothing but a small moment of gratification followed by the desire for the NEXT best thing, I repeat this mistake over and over. We have become a culture of "stuff". It's how we have learned to "know our value"- by comparing our assets--monetarily, intellectually and physically- to those of others. Herein lies the root of all evil.
Mr. Tolle is very focused on the toxicity of the ego. We are slaves to it. Case in point, I was hoping that in the middle of this book it would spell out exactly what my purpose was. As if, by magic, in the middle of a passage it would say, "Erin, your life's purpose is to become an artist". Great! Problem solved! Gosh, I am relieved to finally have an answer. But perhaps that is my ego talking. It wants to find something that will garner some recognition by others so that I can feel that I've accomplished something special and can feel good about myself. But what Mr. Tolle illustrates is that my purpose is to just be. A very difficult concept to accept and put into action. I have a hard time sitting still, never mind just being. This is not to say he is advocating quitting your job, sitting on the couch and mindlessly noshing on chips all day. It's trying to be accepting of what happens when you simply live the life you choose to live. Accepting that maybe your job will never be your dream job but rather a means to an end, or that your house may not be the one you imagined owning. And in doing so, you will rid your life of the constant desire and disappointment cycle that plagues us and makes us miserable.
One of the strongest observations from the book is that we "look upon the present moment as either marred by something that has happened and shouldn't have or as deficient because of something that has not happened but should have." There is such truth in that- we seem to all focus on what's past or what's coming, instead of what's happening now. If we just accepted what life dealt us with "nonresistance" (a major sticking point for Tolle) we'd live a more blissful existence. It is as plain as the "secret" of Indian philosopher J. Krishnamurti, who so simply stated, " I don't mind what happens". A seemingly obvious revelation, but to someone like me who tends to plan for the worst and await its arrival, quite profound. If I took nothing else away from this book, this was a mantra that bears daily repeating. One simple rule that could be life changing if applied, if even in small doses.
By no stretch of the imagination have I become an enlightened soul or even an optimist, but I at least pause for a moment and gather myself before assuming the worst, like self-diagnosing a headache as a brain tumor on Web MD. I try to find space in each day to just breathe and be grateful and embrace the messiness of life. To stop resisting so much to what each day brings me. It is, after all, just life, and not something to be taken so seriously. Just be. A feat much larger than it may sound, but of grandiose meaning to me, and a possible step towards "a new earth".
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To me, the cup is not half filled nor half empty since all vessels are overflowing as in "my cup runneth over" which is the truth of every moment when seen spiritually.
I read this book and found the whole notion about being slave to the ego very enlightening. As you have pointed out, once you see it for what it is in yourself and others it helps self diagnose. The whole idea of clearing the mind of its chatter brings a sort of peace as well.
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
I might skip the entire "make Oprah richer" thing and just get this book out of the library. I don't think I can find the time for an online course right now anyway. (At any rate, I have not seen an Oprah episode since about 1990.)
However, I am a bit intrigued. I have been learning, over the past few years, that I really can -not only make due with less --but get more peace of mind in my life by not stressing so much about what I have or don't have when it comes to unneccessary luxuries. The current economy certainly contributes to this mindset as a lot of people are having to learn this lesson whether they wish to or not.
Most of these comments are triggering my pain-body.
That pain body thing and the mega ego explains a lot to me about Bush & McCain.
I think that wether you read a book, are an Oprah fan or not, attend a church, mosque, synagogue, Quaker meeting house, etc it's all good. Everybody needs to find what is right for them and not belittle anyones path or where or who they look to for some guidance. Isn't that what life is all about, creating your own spiritual path? Who cares how someone begins their journey there or who or what prompts them to take a look inside their soul! I am all for listening to others, recognizing I don't have all the answers, reading books, and listening to myself and loved ones. As humans we are life long learners and I truly believe we need to be more open to everyone's opinions as no one person knows what's best for another. If it is Oprah's nudging, Tolle's words, or your own heart speaking to you, let's just allow us all to have our own opinions and be more accepting of that! Excellently written article Erin on an ongoing hot topic and sensitive issue! Kudos for putting yourself out there.
HuffPost's Pick
I have to admit that I haven't read any of Mr. Tolle's work yet, but everything I hear about it sounds like he's just rewriting Buddhism in a modern voice and taking credit for creating something that's been around for millennia.
The purpose of life is more life. Our DNA strives to recreate itself as much as possible. We are merely its vessels. The whole point of living in the moment is that there is no higher purpose or goal other than to make as little impact as possible in the world instead of trying to satisfy the insatiable ego. Happiness doesn't come from changing or "perfecting" ourselves, but from "getting outside" ourselves and accepting our human nature as it is.
I completely agree. Tolle has dusted off an old and partial spiritual realization and has offered it as a new hope for mankind. This is nonsense. If we take an unvarnished look at what Buddha taught, not the kind of humanism it has morphed into today, it can only be understood as a strategy of escapism based on a denial of the World, the Sacred Feminine and the Individual Soul. An example of Tolle's retrograde view may be found in one of his the popular works which states :
"¦The ultimate purpose of the world lies not within the world but in transcendence of the world."
Tolle simply does not understand that when our highest spiritual wisdom declares life on the Earth to be simply a springboard to some transcendent reality it implies that our human experience is meaningless, purposeless, unreal, and irredeemable. These nihilistic perceptions invariably play themselves out in tragic ways in our individual and collective life, a fact that is all to evident in the world today
The real transformation of the Earth involves a rediscovery of the Sacred Feminine, and the unveiling of the Individual Soul which grants an immediate vision of meaning and purpose in what is taking place around us. This New Way can be found in the Supramental teachings of Sri Aurobindo, the Mother and Thea (Patrizia Norelli-Bachelet). See Aeongroup dot com.
The entire concept of "self help" is absurd. We are hard-wired down to our genetic level to be who we are from conception. You can no more self help yourself mentally than you can will the color of your skin to change.
You are what you are.
"You are what you are"... no doubt about it. The absolutely absurd thing is what people believe "self" is.
" We are hard-wired down to our genetic level to be who we are from conception." ... I suppose we can throw out parenting, language, and the entire educational institution?
HuffPost's Pick
To that end, Erin (and others), I would like to suggest that you counter your "New Earth" by reading Eric G. Wilson's "Against Happiness". Wilson says just what Joe Palooka has just said (although in more lyrical prose), and further suggests that our crusade for Happiness at all costs has anesthesized our society.
He cites several examples throughout history of "melancholics"- people who were not cheerful, were even depressive, and out of their melancholy came great creativity, even genius.
In short, don't worry, be melancholy (if that's what you truly are).
"He cites several examples throughout history of "melancholics"- people who were not cheerful, were even depressive, and out of their melancholy came great creativity, even genius."
And yet, those who are in the most pain are often the ones most motivated to seek enlightenment. Creativity is a form of enlightenment and one of many avenues that allow us to connect to our true selves. I'm sure these troubled geniuses would report that they were happiest while creating. It is the periods when their creativity ceases that the depression and melancholy return, along with their troubled egos.
"suggests that our crusade for Happiness at all costs has anesthesized our society." ... What makes you think Tolle would disagree? So long as your chasing happiness, you'll never have it.
Being a "melancholic", or finding references to those who were in the past whom created trivial things as a result of mood has absolutely nothing to do with the deconstruction of false identification. Your objection is meaningless and unrelated.
HuffPost's Pick
What was that you said? I didn't quite catch it---I'm outside working on a dynamite tan
I am always happy to read other people's opinion of this book, especially those from a self-proclaimed pessimist. I try not to drink from the Kool-Aid blindly and listening to the opinions of others whom are vastly different from myself helps make sure I'm not overdoing it on the refills. I am usually a very optimistic person, so hearing that a pessimist was concluding the same ideas I was concluding after reading this book makes me more comfortable about going for the third refill.
Thanks for posting your ideas!
I REALLY BELIEVE THAT "LIFE" IS ONLY "ATTITUDE!" PERIOD. I DON'T WASTE MONEY
IN SUCH KIND OF BOOKS. 0PRAH BECAME RICH AND SUCCESSFUL BECAUSE HER
"ATTITUDE."
More opinions from a distance. You didn't read the book, so your comment is only relevant in terms of your current mental construction, which as it stands, operates from strong beliefs held together by unstructured emotive forces, but due to the direct personal knowledge of those emotive forces, you equate that sensory feeling with intellectual/belief certainty, rather than a deeper sense of Knowing that Tolle is directing folks to.
Acquiring wealth is totally irrelevant to the content of the book, so if that's why you buy books, then you're correct in not buying this one.
I've been reading the new Eckhart Tolle book this past week or so and it's tremendously helpful. It outlines a challenging way to see yourself and to see the world and I'm amazed that someone as mainstream as Oprah would have the courage to introduce Echkart and his books to her mass audience. As expected, many will reject what Eckhart is saying. One here seems to want to dismiss the whole thing as "self-help" that is making Oprah rich (clue: she's already rich), the other laughably arguing that "the only answer" is Kabbalah. This is how wars start.
I wish everyone a fine and peaceful day.
What's the title of the new book? I agree with you about how wars start. Old egos pushing young egos to fight their battles for them.
"Case in point, I was hoping that in the middle of this book it would spell out exactly what my purpose was. As if, by magic, in the middle of a passage it would say, "Erin, your life's purpose is to become an artist"
Erin - your life's purpose is to discover the purpose of your life - seriously! Do you know why you're here? What the goal is? How to get to it? Does your life have meaning? If you are asking yourself these questions then you are in a really great place.
Tolle brings up a lot of good points and it's incredible that he has so many people discussing the state of their ego - but the solution provided will not advance you very much, if at all. The only answer is to transform our ego using the method nature provided us with from a 'will to receive' into a 'will to bestow' and that can only be done through authentic Kabbalah that focuses on inner processes we must go through in this lifetime.
Another Oprah "self help" mission - how many has she done now? It's making her rich folks. How many self-help books have been out now? Too many to count.
Nope. "Self Help" refers to reification of the egoic structure. Tolle is dismantling it.
Opinions from a distance are always wrong, as is yours.
isosceles
Your remarks define the word "clarity". Thank You.
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Posted March 31, 2008 | 07:29 AM (EST)