09/17/2010 12:36 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Models Are Not Like Us, They Are Weird (VIDEO)

You think you have it hard? Try being a fashion model! They're beautiful (all the time!), naturally thin, and get paid lots of money to be quiet and just stand there. They grow up so pretty, they never hear the words "No" or "You can't have that" because people can't risk that kind of beauty getting all pissed off and walking away.

Models could probably steal from a collection basket then yell "Thanks for the free money, everyone!" and everyone in mass would smile and let them walk out with their money, then turn to one another and say "Peace be with you." Cause that's what you do in Catholic mass.

Here's my piece about models and the importance of distancing ourselves from them. For our own good. Enjoy it! (please?)

Check me out (almost) every Thursday on Infomania 10/9C on Current TV.