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Erin Kotecki Vest

Erin Kotecki Vest

Posted: September 15, 2007 02:27 AM

Bill Maher Can Suck My Tits


Dear Bill,

I have a great rack. Seriously. You would love them. I can tell you are a man that likes a good set of tits and let me tell you, mine deliver.

I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you though. They're just tits, and they are not there to get you hard, they are there to feed my kid.

I'm writing you tonight because you've got all my girlfriends in a little woman tizzy. The hens, they are circling...twitter, blogs, they are all aflutter with remarks you made tonight on your little HBO show.

Indulge me, Huffington Post blogger to Huffington Post blogger, and let's just review your view on *gasp* public breastfeeding (now don't freak out, we might be lactivists, but we're no PETA...I'm not going to throw anything on you...just listen)-

"Narcisist," "Petty" - just a few of the world you threw out there at us breeders. You went on about how breastfeeding was an intimate act, not unlike masturbation, and why we crazy women and our causes need to shut it so real issues can be addressed. You know, because real issues don't include the health of America's children (I guess that means you're ok with me feeding the kid a french fry to shut it up?) or the warped idea we Americans have about sex and body image and what is "obscene" or "acceptable."

My gal pal in arms over at Suburban Oblivion covers it better than I could,

"I've always considered Bill Maher incredibly progressive, but this type of rhetoric makes me wonder if he isn't a little more backwards than he'd like us to think.

Mr. Maher, let's look at a fact or three shall we?

Breastfeeding can in NO way be compared to masturbation. Last I checked, masturbating is not necessary to survive, whereas feeding the infant when they are hungry IS.

How about the fact that by repeatedly asking the woman to cover herself, the Applebee's employees were breaking the law??? In 2006 Kentucky passed a law specifically protecting the right to breastfeed in public, and specifically exempting breastfeeding from public indecency laws.(Unlike spanking your monkey.)

For someone who professes to be a huge fan of Hugh Hefner and Playboy, you certainly have one ass-backwards view of using the breast for it's intended function. Boobs for show? Awesome! Boobs for food? Bad! Put those away! Sorry, it doesn't lend much to your credibility.

So why do people worry themselves with something you deem so unimportant? To those of us who care about the future health of our children, this IS an important issue. Breastfeeding is proven to reduce the risk of diabetes, heart disease, obesity, and a multitude of other problems. Given the out-of-control state of these things in the US today, one would think anything we could do to help curb this trend would not only be supported, but embraced.

The declining health of the population may not be as high on your radar as global warming Mr. Maher, but to those of us entrusted to raise the next generation, it's our number one priority. "

Let's face it. If families stopped supporting the American Service Economy, which we'd have to do if we were never allowed to feed our children in Applebees, then disposable income would dry up. If that happened, no one would be able to afford to pay for HBO. So you'd be out of a job (...again) and if you weren't famous, how would you ever see any woman's boob ever again?

In short Bill, you should know better that we womenfolk don't take up our causes lightly. Or on a whim. Or because we're just trying to hog the spotlight. We're actually trying to accomplish something a little bit more profound and large than can be summed up in a "new rules" segment that ends in "Hooters."

Get your laughs. Tell your jokes. Oogle my breasts. Just use next week's show to join our lactivist cause.

XOXOXO,

Erin Kotecki Vest

 
 
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04:41 PM on 09/19/2007
So, Britney, American Ferrera and a lactivist walk into a bar....

Read on to find out what happens: http://blogher.org/britney-america-ferrera-and-lactivist-walk-bar
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
01:10 PM on 09/21/2007
OK...here's your feedback.

First, I agree with you. Keep your day job.

Second...I agree with you. You're onto something important that needs to be said, over and over again, from generation to generation.

Third...your vision is too small to be truly useful, when it comes to deconstructing and then solving the fundamental proble.

The fundamental problem is NOT a woman problem, or a wymmyn problem or whatever. It is, rather, the HUMAN problem that undergirds all the apparent manifestions of it - including the manifestations you write about.

And the only cure for this problem - regardless of your plumbing or mine - is to actually take up that perilous yet ultimately rewarding journey in which you and I gradually, in fits and starts, actually learns how to listen to the one true voice within - and discount and ultimately discard all the other voices, whether they come from within or without.

Absent that commitment, you or I will look for scapegoats - for reasons "out there" for our own lack of integrity "in here". And of course, because there is no integrity "out there", we'll always find agents for our victimhood, thereby unconciously perpetuating our bondage.

Women - and men - need to cultivate a certain sort of courage to see this clearly. Then the cry of the madding crowd will fade in the caverns of the mind - not before.

As exhibit A, I offer you the mottled history of the womans movement, where women have repeated the same patterns of the historic patriarchy - eating each other alive in an orgy of psychic vampirism over all sorts of "issues".

It happens to this day around the mommy track debate, the chick lit debate, the breastfeeding debate, the pro and anti-porn debate, the lesbian vs bi debate, and (I'm sure) a hundred others I don't have on my own radar.

The need - for all of us who are even a little bit thoughtful and introspective - is to trace symptoms back to karmic causes, and work down at the root, as well as the branch.
02:53 AM on 09/19/2007
Oh, and for the record, masturbation can reduce the risk of prostate cancer for men. So.. yes, it CAN be necessary to our survival. But I never expected a crazy, rant-filled blog to have anything even close to the truth cluttering up the pretty, emotion filled words.
02:46 AM on 09/19/2007
And really, if you think about it, those arguing against Bill right now, their argument boils down to not wanting to be considerate of others. That's great, really. You're having nurse-ins because you're so selfish, you can't think about those around you or consider how they feel. Hats off to you. You may possibly have found a way to be more self-centered than Paris Hilton. Cheers!
Oh, and just more proof that those gals at Suburban Oblivion have no idea what's going on, just read part of the last line:
"The declining health of the population may not be as high on your radar as global warming Mr. Maher"
Swinging wildly like this may be seen as an act of desperation. These ladies obviously aren't regular Maher fans, nor have they seen his questions on Yahoo to the Democratic presidential candidates. The declining health of the population IS something he's concerned about. He talks about it quite a bit, actually. Which is why he never said mothers shouldn't breast feed. Which is what makes it so annoying to read posts and comments from people who think he did. Because he didn't. Do you see where the frustration comes from, do you?
I hope he points out this whole debacle as proof yet again that, sometimes, real life mimics your jokes. (You'd understand that if you actually saw this particular episode.)
02:45 AM on 09/19/2007
Oh.. my god. This reminds me of a Bill Maher bit, actually. The one about how women just come up with some insane idea and run with it, constantly repeating how it's true. Grats on proving him right!
It would seem 90% of the people responding here didn't even see what he said. I'd guess 8% did read/hear what he said, but didn't really think about it, and the other 2% just kinda get ignored.
I guess I can start with the quote from the Suburban Oblivion loonies. The Applebee's employee was breaking the law? That's a fact? He ASKED her to cover up, he didn't force her to. And he was asking out of consideration for a patron that apparently had a problem viewing this feeding.
Now to something Erin and those friends of hers seem to be completely lost on. "Boobs for show? Awesome! Boobs for food? Bad! Put those away!" Right, because you can walk around all day with your boobs hanging out just as long as no one's breast feeding from them. Seriously, do you women think before you type? It's starting to not seem like it.
For anyone that thinks Bill is against breast feeding, here's a dollar, go buy a clue. To those who think he's opposed to breast feeding in public, well, you've almost got a clue, so you'll probably only need a quarter. I think his point was that, if you were too busy to plan ahead and pump some of that delicious breast milk for baby so that you'd have it to feed to him when he got hungry, the least you could do, out of consideration for others, would be to be discrete about it. I know it can be done, I've seen plenty of ladies do it.
11:57 AM on 09/18/2007
I had to formula feed my son 10 years ago after 10 weeks of trying to get help and not knowing why my nipples were white and painful. But, know what, I never had such disdain for people who were able to succeed at the BEST way to feed babies. He is a wonderful child and it hasn't hurt him, though he has a 129 IQ, maybe breastfeeding would have given him the one point he needed to get into gifted? Millions of babies have died from lack of breastfeeding, not to mention all the chronic illnesses bf protects against. Now I am successfully nursing my 3 month old twins exclusively by breast, it is AWESOME! To see their little faces and give them the perfect nourishment. Sorry if you couldn't breastfeed your son but there is no comparison to the quality of breastmilk, a living substance, white blood. We are mammals, human milk for human babies! And it is safer for women in Africa with HIV to breastfeed than formula feed, not in the US, but in 3rd world countries, it is SAFER!!! THERE IS NO COMPARISON, FORMULA is INFERIOR NUTRITION. I spend the $75 I save PER WEEK on formula on books, toys, clothes and college for my babes. I am at less risk for cancer and bone disease because I nurse my babies! Nature/God/whatever you attribute it to, planned for babies to be NURSED.
04:54 PM on 09/16/2007
I'm with you, Erin. I'm a breastfeeding breeder myself, and when it comes down to 1) my baby's hunger 2) my need to venture out in public once and awhile 3) a the sensibilities of Bill Maher and co., Bill's needs come last, WWAAAAYY last.

What is wrong with Mr. Liberty? He doesn't have breasts, he just sucks/oogles them? He doesn't have babies? He sounded like a friggin idiot Friday night. Even if I don't always agree with him, he's usually funny. He was way off the mark on this one, although I'm guessing some of O'Reilly's fans would have had a blast with it; you know, the ones who think women are either madonnas or sluts.

And what was with that pseudo-sanctimonious closing of "lets pay attention to what's REALLY important!? Let me make the much belabored feminist point that what's important is too often made by the titless sex.

I too have noticed he's a bit stiff with the broads, in both senses of the word. Come on, Bill. We aren't so bad. We deserve to live, breath, and oogle freely too. We even laugh at many of your jokes, although the jokes on you right now.
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Erin Kotecki Vest
01:48 PM on 09/16/2007
Otay-I'm totally amused.

Nothing like some typo-laden rants from my tit flashing self to make me have another glass of wine.
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
08:49 PM on 09/20/2007
I'm totally in your corner here, and also totally amused at what a strange and foolish species we are.

Sometimes it's to cry for...and sometimes it's to die for.

And sometimes it's just time for another glass of wine.

Be well, otay?
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
01:38 PM on 09/16/2007
Well, I have to say this has been fun.

I mean, how often does a blogger show us her boobies, anyway?

And feminist-on-feminist mud wrestling? That's always fun to watch!

And watching guys fumbling and stumbling around the old whore-madonna thing? That's a hoot and a half!

I say we need more blogs like this!

OTAY!
12:26 AM on 09/16/2007
first off, and most important, I don't care if you feed in the middle of church, congress, or the second coming, in public, private or on the moon. you have the right to a) feed your baby and b) bound with your child and c) give the best you can for your child which we all know is brest milk.
secondly; I like bill I saw him in Charlotte NC (paid through the nose for the seats too)
HOWEVER; Bill is sexist, at best... so asking him to be anything but is silly. he maybe progressive on alot of issues, he is still VERY sexist so his views comes from that.
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Erin Kotecki Vest
11:47 PM on 09/15/2007
I'm just not sure where you think I'm disagreeing with you here on the male sexuality part. I mean, get distracted, do your thing...rape me and we have an issue. And I'm guessing the point is me feeding my kid distracts you? Its a bodily function (not that YOUR body does it, but whatever) so it should be kept out of public view?

Listen. You eat in hiding and I'll happily feed the baby in hiding too.

Maybe my state of undress should be nill, for fear we bring out your man-ness. Do my ankles turn you on too?

Any freaking part of me might turn you on. I'm not going to be sorry for it or cover it all up just in case. Like I said, I'd be dressed like a puritanical christian or in a burkha. You're really getting your toe close to that line, aren't you?

Do tits have a multi-function? Sure do. And one of those happens to be to sustain life. Not human waste. Not a toenail clipping. But actual nurishment.I'm not asking you to supress whatever sexual fantasy pops in your head, and I'm certainly not calling you perverse for it. I'm just asking that you recognize I'm giving food to my kid AS WELL. And hey, maybe, just maybe, a mom feeding her kid shouldn't be demonized and closeted. This job is hard enough without also having to worry you can't even give your kid it's lunch without turning to toilet feedings and cloak and dagger operations.

and have I even mentioned that this just iS NOT AN ISSUE anywhere else in the WORLD but Here in the good old US of A? the rates of breastfeeding are longer globally, kids are less obese globally, the World Health Organization recommendation for breastfeeding is at least the first two years of life. Here in the US? American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the first 6 months. Did you know there was a formula lobby in DC?

Just saying. Totally off topic. But just saying.
12:45 AM on 09/16/2007
"maybe we can get restaurants to open a no breast feeding area"


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sarcasm[I] is the sneering, jesting, or mocking of a person, situation or thing.

stating the opposite of the intended meaning

It is used mostly in a humorous manner,


I figured the smoke damaged comedians line would be a dead give away.
10:47 PM on 09/15/2007
Yea, I was watching Bill when he was going on about breast feeding. If I can say what the shit are you talking about then he's got to be somewhere out in right field. To be perfectly fair however, maybe we can get restaurants to open a no breast feeding area just for prudes and smoke damaged comedians.
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Erin Kotecki Vest
10:46 PM on 09/15/2007
Zanti,

Why are you assuming I have an issue with your sexual nature?

I don't think you're a pervert for ogling (or oogling) my tits, regardless of if they are feeding a bay or not.

I'm simply stating it's not a big deal. If your mind wanders sexual or otherwise, I don't really give a shit.

Now if you can't use your brain and control your instincts that's an entirely different issue.

I love how everyone assumes I am all madonna and no whore. You people have nooooo clue.

There needs to be a conditioning that sex isn't bad. That tits are not bad. That me using them for sex or what they were INTENDED FOR in feeding my child isn't somehow BAD and in need of a burkha.
11:26 PM on 09/15/2007
"If your mind wanders sexual or otherwise, I don't really give a shit."

No kidding!

"There needs to be a conditioning that sex isn't bad."

Yes, sex is SO wonderful that you demand men turn off their impulses in that area--or at least keep their danged opinions to themselves. Telling men that their sexual responses and feelings are of no significance is not demonstrating much reverence for sex.

You're right--sex is not bad. And neither is male sexuality. But we don't hesitate to disrespect the latter. Got an erection? Too bad. A woman's state of undress distracting you? Too bad.

Anymore, we virtually label male sexuality as perverse. Wrong, even. But sex itself. And so I ask again what sex itself would be without male input. Less than sex.

If sex is good, then so is the male experience of it. By definition.

At any rate, by keeping something out of public view, we are not necessarily labeling it bad. Going to the bathroom is good, but do we go on the coffee table? On the sidewalk? In the streets?

Bathing is good and necessary. And polite. Do we do it while eating in a restaurant? ("Hey, what's your problem? Bathing is healthy! Sickos!")

Is it bad to clip our finger- and toenails? Then why don't we clip them at work, in church, or on the bus? Is sleeping bad? Then why don't we do it in public more often?

We do a lot of things in private. And many of those things happen to be vital, needful functions. Coincidence?
11:30 PM on 09/15/2007
I don't know what happened to part of my last comment. I meant to type:

Anymore, we virtually label male sexuality as perverse. Wrong, even. But sex itself is great.

And so I ask again what sex itself would be without male input. Less than sex.
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Erin Kotecki Vest
09:21 PM on 09/15/2007
I'm simply pointing out that this is not the issue we are debating. Yet is seems many formula feeders wish to interject the issue.

Thus, the OMG, Chill.

I'm all about formula feeding when it is necessary. I'm all about giving my kids carrots instead of french fries too.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Erin Kotecki Vest
08:11 PM on 09/15/2007
OMG ChaucerDaisy. Chill. This is not a mom who can't nurse issue. This is a "you'd rather see a bottle than a breast" issue.

I'm not ridiculing formula feeding moms. I'm making a point that people find the inferior (and yes, by inferior I mean we all know breast is best) method more acceptable than a mother breastfeeding.

We're not having a formula vs. breast battle here. So take that fight elsewhere.
09:05 PM on 09/15/2007
The overarching complaint you have with Bill Maher is that he is dismissive of YOUR choice, ahem, YOUR RIGHT to breastfeed in public.

If you want HIM to stop being dismissive of YOU and your choices, you may want to examine how dismissive you are of others. As you ask Bill Maher to stop being dismissive of you, I ask you to stop being dismissive of me and my choices. Do not tell me to "chill." I was very respectful to both your and my positions in my comments.

Breast is best is a slogan you advocate. That's works for you. I advocate what's "best" is feeding a baby by the "best" means a mother has available to her. To you, it's by breastmilk. I wish you the best. To me, breast is not best nor is breastmilk. I stated my reasons above.

IF you choose not to have a formula vs. breast battle here, then do not state "worst yet, formula" and assume readers will not disagree.

Bill Maher questioned the narcissism of those wanting to breastfeed in a place like Applebees ("or give birth in the waterfall at the mall?"). I question the narcissism of a writer whose responses to a legitimate, respectful reader begin with "OMG. Chill," and end with "Take that fight elsewhere" after insulting as "inferior" those mothers who use formula.

Or are you and Bill Maher just comics trying to be funny about important issues?
05:01 PM on 09/15/2007
My mother, the mother of my children, and all other women who breastfeed their kids are A-OK with me. In public or in private. There is no ugly about a tit and those are not just bodily fluids being excreted into the little mouth, it's nourishment, nutrition, what makes a healthy kid. Perhaps our Bill of Rights ought to include one having to do with Mothers' Prerogatives.

I won't quit watching Bill Maher, but I do want him to respect the tenets of peace, which begin in the cradling arms of mothers. Hugh Hefner respects motherhood. Hey, maybe Bill could ask Hef how to get straight on this issue? It'd be great to see it published on HuffPost and in the pages of Playboy.