It's Over. Now What? Hug a Hillary Supporter

I'm not really sure how to make up with my Hillary Clinton-supporting friends.

I got damn mad at them. They got damn mad at me.

Even when we tried to be civil, we were gritting our teeth and muttering swear words.

I accused their candidate of turning GOP. Of dirty tricks. Of lies. Of stealing delegates. Of race baiting.

They called me a cult member said my candidate was inexperienced, a dreamer, filled with talk and no substance. They called my candidate unpatriotic and went after those in his past and present.

I got angry enough to spew very hate-filled speech post-South Carolina.

I'm still not sorry.

I'm pretty sure they are not either.

So now what?

Do we hug it out? Because really -- that's all I have left.

I currently have nothing nice to say about what went on between the Clinton and Obama campaigns. I can't yet blog about uniting the Clinton and Obama voters or give the 'let's all just go against McCain together' pitch.

I still want to yell and scream. I want the former President Bill Clinton to explain himself. I want Senator Clinton to tell me why she got so damn right winged in her fear-mongering rhetoric.

I realize those answers are not coming.

I realize we have to move forward to beat John McCain.

But I have NOTHING to get us moving on this immediately.

Except hug.

Weak? Maybe.

But trust me I've gone through every option I can think of -it's all I have got.

You know how you have those crazy relatives in your family you will never, ever agree with and fight with all the time? You get soooo mad at the things they do, yet...they are family. And somehow you hug and move on.

I'm hugging my HRC-supporting friends because I don't know what else to do.

And I really don't want to kick them.

Or do I?

I do. I still want to kick them.

But I won't.

Free hugs.

Who wants one?

Read more reactions from Huffington Post bloggers to the Indiana and North Carolina primary results


Comments

[Erin Kotecki Vest - Huffpost Blogger]

It's clear I'm going to have to do more than hug some of you....

[OtayPanky]

I have said more than once, Erin, that there is a strong and rational progressive case to be made that the democratic party has outlived its usefulness. In general, with a few notable exceptions, they have been a cowardly, craven bunch - just as addicted to pork and corporate money as the republicans.

So if anyone wants to stay home on election day on that basis, I would respect their choice, even though I choose differently. I'd give 'em a hug, not to persuade them to come out and vote for Obama, but because they were acting as people of principle.

That kind of principled abstention is very different than someone saying they're going to stay home out of childish petulance. They didn't get their way, so they're going to take their ball, and go home.

You can try a hug, or a cookie, or whatever else you want. What's really needed though, is an inside job - maybe some therapy or meditation - some mechanism that provides for a distancing of the clear-minded observer self from the sulking, resentful ego-self.

Obama's real problem is not these sour grapes Hillary supporters - he's on the right side of all the issues that traditional dem women care about and most will come around - but rather the residual racism in the American electorate that has been well documented in the exit polling.

Fortunately, he's running against a weak candidate in McCain, joined at the hip with the worst president in history.

[tbone99]

First of all being called a dreamer doesn't have quite the kick of being called a racist. Being accused of inexperience doesn't measure up to the sting of being accused of dirty tricks. Most of what H.C did was standard politcal fare, certainly mild considering what we're about to be hit with. I've never encountered a bigger bunch of whiners in an election than B.O. supporters.

The worst of what was thrown at Obama was caused by his not ditching Wright as soon as he decided to run.Sheer political stupidity on his part. If you don't properly secure yourself, can you really complain when you're robbed of your good name?

As a person who really sees not much substance in either candidate but who voted Obama( uselessly, in a red state) I have to say there probably won't be much hugging til the general election comes around and we see that we can win while being nice and civilized . It's a premise yet to be tested, and given the Rovian nature of politics may end up being the usual Dem gentlemanly method of suicide.

[Rescisco]

I may be the only person who actually likes and respects both Democratic finalists. I began the year supporting neither one of them (a Biden guy) but am very determined that Senator Obama (who has indeed won the nomination) win in the fall. I suspect that the worthy supporters of both candidates have had an emotional spring, and both have ample reason for feeling some pain perhaps. But the reality is that most of the injuries are self-inflicted and the injustices perceived and railed against (all of which are false echos and ground clutter) pale in comparison to the very real threat of Senator McCain serving a third Bush term. This campaign is no longer about Senator Obama (for whom I voted) or Senator Clinton (for whom I almost voted). It is now about us. We need not hug each other to save this nation, but we do need to come together for a cause that if far more important than any individual feelings or hurts. Our responsibility is greater than that of any candidate to heal the country and pull its people together. Now is the time to begin.

[katefranklin]

No kicks necessary, people. If you have nothing good to say, then don't say anything. I mean it. The bitter loss of this primary is enough of a kick to any devout Clinton supporter's ego, psyche, and spirit. Allow some time to pass. Over the next few months many of them will grow to detest the real culprits in Hillary's defeat: Mark Penn, Bill Clinton, Carville, Wolfson, et al. Big hugs for all.

[frustratedinohio]

Call it irreconcilable differences, Erin. The divide is here to stay. Maybe we will create a new party or become independents. One thing is for sure, we'll keep Obama from winning the GE.

[OtayPanky]

I have - since the beginning - despised the Billaries. But I never despised those who HONESTLY supported her. If you honestly thought she was the best person for the job, then good for you.

At the same time, I have always been - and will continue to be - contemptuous of anyone who makes such a serious decision in such serious times as these based on identity politics. And it really doesn't matter who you support. If your basic reason is that your candidate has the same skin color as you, or the same genitalia as you, or the same religion as you, you deserve a slap upside your thick head, not a hug.

There's a truism that says that, ultimately, we get the government we deserve. So if you want a government that continues to pander to the rich, that leaves the poor and middle class without health care, and that institutionalizes US aggression as policy for another 4 years, then by all means pull the NIHILISM lever. Vote for McCain, or Nader, or just stay home.

And then, after you grow up and come to your senses, I'll give you TWO hugs.

[frustratedinohio]

Nobody does as your second paragraph says.

[OtayPanky]

frustratedinohio: Nobody does as your second paragraph says.

===

Try Gloria Steinem, in her recent NY Times op-ed..

Or, here on HuffPo, Erica Jong or Kathleen Reardon.

Or all of the first wave feminists who accused other women of betrayal if they chose to support Barack.

Unfortunately, identity based thinking is all too common, and has had WAY too much of a role in this campaign.

[Moose49]

Ewwwww.

But you know what? I'd even be willing to make that sacrifice if it helps elect Obama and defeat McSame.

[Lon]

I for one, have no problem "forgiving" Clinton supporters, although I am not sure one needs to forgive people for tactical decisions of this sort.

Ever since inevitability disappeared, the Clinton campaign has essentially been predicated on the fact that only a democrat who can run as dirty as a Republican can beat a Republican. And in retrospect that certainly seems true of 2004 and 1988.

Obama's campaign has been predicated on the idea that in 2008 one does not have to run like a republican, and in fact that one can do better by running a more moral campaign. I think he is right, which is one reason that I have been a big Obama supporter. But I do not know I am right. I am not about to pretend that the reaction to the Wright scandal has not scared me a bit. We are moving to whiter territory in the general.

Obama has shown that his approach is better for winning the democratic nomination. But the rationale for the Clinton campaign will not be undermined until November, and even then it may turn out that she was right. I hope for more from my country, but I have been disappointed in this regard as recently as 2004.

So what is there to forgive. Clinton had her approach to avoiding 4 more years of Republicans. Obama has his. So what is the difficulty in being magnanimous in victory? That is a much easier thing than being graceful in defeat.

[MzTexas]

How about you quit acting like a spoiled brat and start figuring out how you are going to get Obama elected? His appeal to important demographics is almost nil . . . those voters who have been voting for Clinton will now be on the McCain side of the ballot. You need to start figuring out about how you are going to get Obama in the win column in BLUE states and SWING states that he has to win in order to get elected. So far, his record in those states is pretty abysmal. Hon, your work has just begun and since you are an avid supporter of Obama, you'd better get busy now.

I'm not a Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama supporter, but I am definitely against a McCain presidency, so I will vote for either of these two less than stellar candidates.

Give all of the "Hillary supporters" and the neither-nor supporters a real reason to support your candidate . . . right now, his lack of experience and qualifications are making it hard for a lot of moderates and older voters to support him. Quit being silly and acting like your best friend just won student body president.

[jmpurser]

After the two of you get done kissing and making up you might want to start making make nice with the third party in this little love match. You know, those progressive voters who see Obama as stagnant water and stale bread and Hillary as cardboard entre pictures from the frozen food section. You're counting on them to show up at the "banquet" this fall and so far we have precious little reason to do so.

[heather11483]

Who's being mean to the third party? I'm certainly not. We all need to work together to oust the conservative machine this fall. I would hope that you wouldn't hand the election to McCain, speaking of stagnant and stale. It'd be incredibly selfish.

[tbone99]

well, there is McCain....

[altohone]

OK, let's not blow this out of proportion. You are feeding the coming media narrative of "division", now that their old one was smashed.

Most Hillary voters do not fall into the ardent category.
They did not lie about Obama. They didn't climb into the gutter.
Some did, and you were more likely to meet them if you're in politically active circles or spend a few seconds at HuffPost or other blogs.

Most Hillary supporters did not do the things you object to, and many were at the very least uncomfortable with Hillary's tactics. Historical precedent in US politics taught them to tolerate it, but they didn't admire it.
Furthermore, at least on HuffPo, many of the worst are not even Hillary supporters or even Democrats... they just oppose Obama. There's also a high likelihood some were being paid to spew, and won't be motivated once the checks stop.

I emphasize "most" and "many" because there were too many exceptions.
There's no denying we'd do better as a party if we don't give up on them though, and since Hillary gained the support of many of them by portraying herself to the left of Obama, it's clear McCains policies aren't a real alternative.
We need them to join us... not love us.

[vmarinelli]

It will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me that my effort to comment on this (excellent and, under the circumstances, shockingly generous post) has been deemed too verbose for HuffPo (by a margin of more than 200 characters - d'oh).

Therefore, I left my feedback at this same entry on your own fair blog:

http://xrl.us/bj82z

(Capsule version? I'm not ruling out the hugging thing. Just not quite to that point yet. A Dixie Chicks song is quoted - you know the one.)

[YenNguyen]

I think Hillary (and Obama) supporters need to recognize that the Limbaugh Effect is everywhere. I'm sure that some of the name calling of our respective candidates by their so called "supporters" can be attributed to people making mischief.

See the example below from the NYTimes. It's the same person but the second post has the first name spelled backwards.

1.May 6th, 2008 7:01 pm
Evil persists: that explains Hillary’s tenacity.
— Posted by Libby

3.May 6th, 2008 7:18 pm
Good always triumphs in the end: that explains Hillary’s tenacity.
— Posted by Ybbil

[eidhsubplz]

If you think Clinton supporters are going to support anything that has to do with the seething mental illness cult of Obama,you are sadly mistaken.I myself have grown to hate my own party almost as much as the republicans and will be voting McCain just so I can help put the final nail in this horrible countries coffin. There will be a republican in the White House one last time.

[Erin Kotecki Vest - Huffpost Blogger]

You get a hug AND a big fat kiss. SQUUEEEEEEZE

[knighthowl]

Have you considered therapy? I have always been curious as to why some suicidal people kill others before they kill themselves. You, apparently, would like to do so on a national scale. Please seek assistance.

[altohone]

You are expressing the GOP's wishes very well.

But, being in touch with your inner self isn't the same as being omnipotent about all Hillary supporters.


I'm not sure McCain will welcome those who call this country "horrible", and a vote for him would push us further up the creek.

[Softnsweet]

eidhsubplz,

I am apalled at your comment and very very glad that you do not speak for all Hillary supporters. You are the one that's mental and racist. Who do you think you are? Go back to your KKK meetings.

[tbone99]

Eidhsubplz said nothing about race, so where's the racist and KKK come from.? it seems like Obama supporters have no other card to use ! Its getting very old, and is not going to win over blue collar voters AT ALL!

[heather11483]

Aw. You just need a hug. *clings* Lets not allow the country to implode on itself, yes? Come on over and have some Kool-Aid.

[BillLumbergh]

Fark the Clintonistas.
They have been hateful, condescending a-holes for months, while refusing to debate on facts and not spin. If they don't like Obama as the Dem candidate, let them stay home on election day, and history will judge them for their selfish crime, as McSame lights the final torch to begin the incineration of Rome.

[itmaybetoolate]

This is certainly helpful! Is that what Obama stands for (assuming you are a true Obama supporter)?
Scary!