There are weeks that I go to Barnes and Noble more than I see my family. Alone, I roam the aisles looking for books to devour and dream of one day seeing my very own sitting on the shelves. This is proceeded by hours of writing in the café, feeling the inspiration of the millions of words engulf me. I yearn to be a writer. Deep down, I always have.
Writing has been a passion of mine since I was a kid, but it never went any further than turning in assigned papers and articles in high school and college. I dreaded being graded on what I wrote because, unbeknownst to my teachers and professors, writing was my source of happiness. I was terrified of being told I didn't have what was needed to make it, so I became the next best thing to a writer that I could think of: an English teacher. I could spend my days reading the most beautiful works of literature and help train a new generation of writers all while remaining safely on the other side of fear. I dreamed of being on the opposite side; I just didn't want to go through what it would take to get there.
It's the same story with a different script. I am the English teacher who is truly a writer. There is undoubtedly a lawyer who is an artist, a receptionist who is a singer, or a retail clerk who is a designer. There is an abundance of reasons we tell ourselves to squelch the burning passion we have to step out and honor our calling: There is no time, I will be criticized and ripped apart beyond repair, I am not good enough, or it's just an unrealistic dream. These reasons, along with a litany of others, cause us to slam on the breaks, never giving ourselves the chance to soar.
Then it hit me. One day I woke up paralyzed by the fear of never soaring, and it was infinitely stronger than the fear of the reasons I played over in my head of why I shouldn't try. I started small with my own blog and worked my way to a column for a local news site. Each entry gave me new life. My fears of rejection and unworthiness were still there, but the joy of sharing what was in my heart trumped them each time. The more I wrote, the better I became, and the more I wanted to soar higher and higher. I went from a terrified English teacher to a blogger on The Huffington Post in little over a year because I refused to play small and let my fears dictate my path in life.
You all, more than likely, have some passion burning inside of you. I plead with you to honor it because it is an untapped wealth of happiness and peace that too many of us actively ignore out of the dread of judgment and failure. Give yourself a shot at soaring.
I most certainly will never be Maya Angelou or Elizabeth Gilbert, but I am Erin Parker, and she is good enough to give it a shot as well. Not everyone will read my words and be moved, but I have learned that's ok. What matters is that I made the trek to the other side of fear and can now bask in the light given off by living a life that is true to what I am.
Will you join me?