NOTE: This post contains images that may be considered NSFW or inappropriate for some readers.
Sometimes it's hard to remember that celebrities have...erm, careers. (Besides vamping for cameras and sucking down Starbucks, of course). But what would happen if Hollywood ceased to exist and our favorite stars were forced to take jobs in -- gasp! -- the real world? Do the glitterati have the skills to make it in blue-collar America? Well, some of them might. Here are some very important thoughts on the 9-to-5 gigs celebs would have if the entertainment industry went kaput.
Emma Watson: Fashion consultant
Emma began her career as a kind of girl next door and has since transformed into a full-fledged fashionista. Other than her superb acting skills and enviable accent ("It's Wingardium LeviOsa, not LevioSA!"), we know her for her always looking amazing whether she's on the red carpet or on the streets of London.
When it comes to getting dressed, this girl knows what she's doing. It seems only fair that she share this eye for ensemble with the rest of the word! It's safe to say that the sorting hat would place Miss Hermione Granger in the personal styling department of a boutique, where she can cloak -- Eh?! -- other plebeians in magical ensembles. I mean, have you ever seen the UN look this good?
Jude Law: English teacher
Move over Ezra Fitz. Jude Law is the sexy English teacher you wish you had. He just oozes sexiness and something about him just makes him seem like he is well-read. Plus that British accent, to die for. All I know is that if he was teaching, I'd suddenly have a deep interest in the classics.
Meryl Streep: Headmistress at a private school
Meryl is the HBIC of the biz. Whether she's singing, playing a fashion editrix or a drugged-out widow, Streep is a force to be reckoned with. But what if that force was put to the powers of education, a private school headmistress? Imagine how intimidating it would be to get called down to her office.
Shailene Woodley: Witch doctor
Shailene has come a long way. Amy from Secret life is all grown up, but she's still stuck to her roots, literally. Shailene is all about the earth and is your modern day tree hugger. Almost every day, a new article comes out with a weird headline the newest herbal remedy she has discovered. She believes in tanning to increase her vitamin D down under, harvests her own drinking water from mountaintops and EATS clay for nutrients. She even makes her own cheese. Who even knows how to do that?
Amy Adams: First grade teacher
Amy is just the cutest. She just seems to exude rainbows and happiness. This personality would be very applicable in a first grade classroom where she can go elbow deep in glitter and construction paper.
Emma Stone: Blogger
Miss Stone is quick witted and a sensationally funny. One would assume this would translate very nicely into a candid and snarky blog. She says the things we all think out loud and we love her for it.
Justin Bieber: Unemployed
With his criminal record and general disregard for authority the Biebs doesn't seem too employable in any field that doesn't rely on swooping hair or making headlines. Sorry 'bout it.
Chelsea Handler: Social activist
Handler has a lot to say. A five second perusal of her Instagram, will tell you that. It's likely that even without her fame, she would still find a way to let us know her thoughts. Probably with a megaphone and probably topless. Think Pussy Riot here.
Ryan Seacrest: Real estate agent
Seacrest is the ultimate salesperson and not in the cool Phil Dunphy way. From his suits to his manicured eyebrows and sparkling smile it just seems like he is always selling something. It's easy to picture his beaming face on those real estate bus bunch ads and billboards with some cheesy slogan about how he'll find you the best deal in town. Kris Jenner would probably be his local competition.
Beyoncé: Still Beyoncé
Queen B is just too fabulous to do anything other than be herself. Just try to picture her doing anything else. You can't.