09/25/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Christ Begins Making Online Endorsements

Following His recent endorsement of A Course in Miracles, Jesus Christ, Lord and Saviour to hundreds of millions of the faithful, has announced plans to endorse eSarcasm, the World's Most Heavenly Web Site ™. Christ's endorsement is expected to be formally revealed at an upcoming media event at The Last Supper Club in San Francisco.

"I figured, what the hell?" said the King of Kings in a statement issued this morning via a spokesangel. "I find many of the stories on that site divinely amusing."

2009-08-25-jesuschristendorsement.jpgChrist said he's been approached countless times over the last 2000 years by people seeking the heavenly stamp of approval: the Vatican, NFL franchises, thousands of political candidates, and Mel Gibson. But until last week, when the Messiah endorsed the cheesy Course in Miracles "mind training system," He had remained silent.

"I admit, I was afraid of getting overexposed. I mean, look at Tiger Woods. But I've been waiting for what feels like an eternity to start getting my name out there again. For Chri... er, sorry, my sake -- it's about damned time."

eSarcasm coquettish haberdasher co-creator Dan Tynan calls the endorsement a spirit-lifting win.

"Six months ago, JC didn't know us from Adam," Tynan says. "To have the Prince of Peace backing our humble site now is a testament to how far we've come."

"Mr. Christ has really been a savior," adds co-co-creator JR Raphael. "After some tough times, we feel like our business has been resurrected."

To commemorate the endorsement, eSarcasm will phase in the slogan "What Would Jesus Do? He'd Visit eSarcasm!" The phrase will appear on an upcoming line of custom-branded women's intimate apparel to be sold at finer department stores sporadic novelty shops nationwide. A 30-city "Your Site, Your Savior" tour is also being planned for early fall.


(Yes, we know. We're going to burn in hell for a long, long time.)

For more Geek Humor Gone Wild, visit eSarcasm. You'll be glad you did.