"This Is a Dream Colon" - 26 Hilarious Voice Mail Transcriptions

In our rapid march toward the day when we never actually have to talk directly to another human being, Voice Mail Transcription is great step forward. Now, we don't even have to listen to recordings of human voices! Those pesky callers just show up as text in your inbox.

Some might think it unfortunate that the technology of automated transcription isn't quite up to the complexity of speech or the vagaries of cellular audio fidelity, but not me. The inadvertent and randomly surreal poetry of it may just be its best feature.

Remember the old children's game "Telephone" where one child whispers a message to the next child, who whispers it to the next and so on? The end result was always hilariously transmogrified from the original message.

Now technology has eliminated the middle man (or children, as it were) and with greatly improved efficiency, done the whole thing in one step.

Now, instead of simply ignoring phone messages, I can be amused by them first.

26 hilarious voice mail transcriptions from my inbox: