I Am He as You Are He as You Are Me and We Are All Together
I've heard a loud public outcry from prominent gay Americans about the passage of Proposition 8, but not as much from the so called "straight" community. I think it needs to be said as loudly as possible, by as many people as possible: the passage of Proposition 8 in California is an embarrassment to, and an indictment of, all Americans.
Let's get clarity right away: Denying any Americans any rights that other Americans hold is discrimination. Period. It doesn't matter whether the discrimination is motivated by morality, or religious beliefs, or a Ouija board, it's still discrimination. And that makes it illegal. (And that comes after the fact that it's wrong.) It should be clear to everyone (or made clear to them) that it puts us all in danger of the same kind of discrimination being pointed our way the moment someone decides we're on the wrong side of their moral or religious measurements.
So, what to do about a situation in which more than 50% of the voters choose to sanction discrimination? I don't think the answer is terribly exotic (I love you Michael Patrick King, and I loved your piece, but I don't think the cage bit will do the trick; they'd like to see you in a cage). Discrimination has been overcome before, and the route toward redemption this time, I'm guessing, will be the same.
First, everyone who finds this discrimination to be an outrage (and everyone should) needs to get on board in fighting it. And then, as a group, we need to impress upon the slightly larger group of voters how important we all are to them, and how much they'd miss us if we were gone. In other words, start withholding business from those who don't get it. From this moment forward, all anti-discrimination Americans should take their weddings out of California. No honeymoons in California, either. I'm sorry to suggest divvying up the world this way, but some research needs to be done in terms of which hotel chains, flower distributors, gift outlets, and departments stores (and which of their owners and board members) supported or resisted the passage of the measure, and steps need to be taken to punish those who fought against equal rights for all, or didn't fight hard enough in defense of them.
If you happen to know particular businesses in-state who stand on the right side of equal rights measures, then by all means, throw business their way. My point is that it's time for all enlightened citizens to stand beside, around, between, and in formation with those who are being denied the rights we've all earned, and are entitled to. A threat (and an insult) to one is an insult to all. It's time to push back hard. Not as a minority group fighting for equal rights, but as a massive spending block of multi-colored Americans, aware that any discrimination is an unacceptable infringement on all of our rights to live in a free -- and equal -- society.
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THIS WONT POST BUT...
PLEASE SAY THERES STILL HOPE..
MANY LIKE YOURSELF WHO VOTED FOR CHANGE AND THE GREEN VOTE WILL BE TAKING PAY CUTS AND OR WORKING PRO BONO OR HEAVILY DONATING TO THE CAUSE...
PLEASE TELL ME THEIR ARE CELEBS WHO WILL LEAD BY EXAMPLE...
OF COURSE................
NO REPLY FROM ANY CELEBS...
THIS WONT POST...UGGGH...
Evan Handler, you are my hero! (You're also my friend Karin's hero, btw; she sent me your column.) First you wooed perfectly darling Charlotte on "SATC," and now you're standing up for us gays. Thank you!
Now an additional suggestion for your lesbian & gay readers: We can get married legally in at least three countries -- Spain, the Netherlands and Belgium. I'm fortunate enough to have a Spanish partner, so we can go to his home for the wedding; of course, we'd still lack legal status here in California where we live.
One more idea: Disneyland! Yes, they "legalized" same-sex marriage a couple of years ago. I checked, and Disney Fairytale Weddings are not expensive compared to other weddings. Plus it'd be a fun vacation for your guests. Best of all, you'd be showing the world that the happiest and most American kingdom welcomes lesbians & gays.
Thanks again, Evan!
- Marc
I was talking to a good friend yesterday. She is a 79-year-old widow, retired gov't employee, who thinks of herself as a liberal Republican (yes, I know, a nearly extinct species). So I was a bit surprised and extremely pleased when she displayed real, genuine, strong anger at the passage of Prop 8. She saw the issue as clearly as you stated it: we cannot allow the majority to decide on how many rights any minority gets. I think there is a deep reservoir of support for not leting this issue die; it's just that there's been so much happiness over the Obama win that many people haven't put their minds on the fact that this victory is only the beginning of a long struggle. The Evil Empire will strike back; it always does.
This is THE civil-rights struggle of our time. In the future, people will look at this in the same light as a "whites only" sign on a water fountain. Shame on the Californians who supported this hateful proposition.
I use to think Gays and Lesbians were smarter than the average heterosexual but since this marriage thing, I don't know. Who in their right mind would want to get married?
I just want to be able to be with my partner when she is in the hospital and it would be nice if her name could be on our daughter's birth certificate. Just little things like that would be nice.....
Thank you Evan. I knew there was a good reason why I like you.
I appreciate your suggestion for others to boycott CA. Here is a website where you can find out who contributed to either side of Prop 8.
http://www.sfgate.com/webdb/prop8/
That site is an excellent resource. Thank you.
Thank you Evan. I knew there was a good reason why I like you.
I appreciate your suggestion for others to boycott CA. Here is a website where you can find out who contributed to either side of Prop 8.
New political rule in the time of Obama:
If the people agree with us, you must abide by the Will of the People.
If the people disagree with us, the courts need to look at the issue.
Obama received a majority of the vote, so clearly he has the mandate of the people. Prop 8 got a majority of the vote, but that mandate should be ignored. For uh, some reason.
and, uh, what do you think that reason might be? have the rights of any other group been determined by popular vote? how do you think that might have worked out for women, african-americans, or any other group in the history of this country?
For, uh, it's not that simple. It is illegal under the Constitution of the United States for a State to pass a law that denies a person any right that someone else enjoys.
You are wrong about that, I am a man and I cannot pee in a womans washroom. I would get arrested. If that sounds silly to you think again.
Just as soon as it is ok for me to pass a law that says Republicans can't get married, or have children, or adopt, ....just as soon as that happens, your point makes sense.
But, on the day that someone even tries that, I and other progressives will be walking hand in hand with our Republican friends to stop it, and to fight it, both on the streets and in the courts (both being loud and peaceful), I think there is not a great chance of that happening.
Can Republicans be Conservative enough to conserve rights...for EVERYONE?
Let's arrange a few more votes to limit the rights of Republicans & homophobes to reproduce. The world would be a better place.
That would be unfair, you say? Then so is Prop 8. It is unconstitutional, and must be overturned... and the churches that paid to advertise on its behalf should be TAXED.
how about because the law is unconstitutional bone head (ALL men are created equal)
Agreed Evan. I moved to California to leave the states of intolerance in the South. No self-respecting Californian wants to to become the State of Georgia or Kentucky in this regard. If you think about putting an embargo on these hoodwinking hotels and discriminatory businesses, it will happen somewhat naturally. My family just jettisoned my placard bearing YesOnH8 dentist
How about using the Internet as open registry of businesses that support YesonH8.
On political strategy:
First (for this post, with a second section in a follow-up), boycotting a whole state in this kind of thing is ridiculous. Supporters of gay rights in CA, where after all 48% voted no while millions of others didn't vote at all, argue for a boycott of the state of Utah, and in this instance CA. This is strategically misdirected. A boycott and protests should be finely tuned to the actual culprits, especially the main culprits. For example, both the Mormon Church and the relevant (arch)dioceses, and those officials involved in their decisions and/or in the campaign itself, should be targeted by the full range of proper and appropriate means, such as street protests, boycotts, effigies, etc.
But when you boycott a whole state, you cast a wide net that inevitably ensnares the innocent as well as the guilty, and is cumbersome logistically. It is also stupid politically, apt to alienate more people than it draws in. Progressives need to learn to PLAY TO WIN, as Obama did.
Also, a contextual look back & critique of progressives' approach to the prop 8 campaign especially nationally is apt. (I also read a VERY interesting devastating critique from W/IN the campaign from someone who was active in it in SF, but forgot where the URL is). At any rate, here's my own "narrative" on this:
I was active on the web (being severely limited in my political participation by a disability) in a number of venues during the election campaign. In the final weeks, after the third debate & the financial meltdown in the lap of the GOP, w/ Obama awash in cash & leading with statistical significance in the range of polls, I argued in Democratic Underground (DU), on Huffpo, at TPM Cafe, w/in the (in)famous "Progressives for Obama" & elsewhere (including both FaceBook & Myspace) that politically aware progressives all across the country needed URGENTLY to recognize the MAJOR STRATEGIC importance of the close senate races & of Prop 8. Prop 8 was something that progressives nationally (as the Mormons did) should've so recognized, and, as I put it, should (have) FLOCK(ed) to donate. Why couldn't we raise more than the $19 million pitched in by Mormons? Had this been done, I believe prop 8 would've gone down. Similarly, if the close senate races had, in those final three weeks of the campaign, been significantly more financed by politically at least somewhat aware authentic progressives, we wouldn't need to be sitting on tenterhooks today about the senate races
Sorry, folks, but there's no denying that the majority of people in California who cared enough to come out and vote chose to define marriage as a male/female only institution. Whether the motives you've all ascribed to them are correct or not, that's what the voters chose.
Part of the greatness of our system of government is that a simple public referendum doesn't have to be the final answer to a question. I encourage everyone who's passionate about this to pursue the legal avenues available to them with all the vigor they can muster. But it won't change the fact that when the people were asked directly how they felt about this issue, this was the result.
Personally, I think all homosexual couples unhappy with that result should leave the state of California with all due haste. The economic impact of such an action would be a far greater demonstration of your dissatisfaction than marching in the streets. Vote with your spending power and your tax dollars.
As far as the issue itself, none of my business who anyone marries. Homosexual couples couldn't screw up the "institution" of marriage any worse than heterosexuals have for centuries. Have at it, gay people. Show us the way.
We must CANCEL SUNDANCE!
There, I said it.
I really believe it's time to put on the ballot a proposition enforcing and preserving true traditional, biblical marriage: make divorce illegal; make adultery a felony; literally impose the one man and one woman rule with the force of law.
I wonder how many of our straight brethren would vote for that.
Don't forget that sex is only for procreation too. Any sex not for that purpose should be illegal also.
Deny everyone the right to IMMORAL RE-MARRIAGE.
Evan: Brilliant!
“Denying any Americans any rights that other Americans hold is discrimination. Period. It doesn't matter whether the discrimination is motivated by morality, or religious beliefs, or a Ouija board, it's still discrimination. And that makes it illegal.”
I hope you won't mind if I quote you in my response to a long, stereotype-pushing letter that a local doctor stuck under the "No on Prop 8" sign in my front yard before the election. Here's some of what I've written:
"...the bottom line for me is this: I have three beautiful, beloved children. Some day, one of them may come to me and tell me that he or she is gay and in love with someone of the same gender. And I will never, ever have to say to that child, “I had a chance years ago to make it okay for you to marry the person you love, but I didn’t do anything.”
The amendment passed, but this fight is not over. This issue will not go away. And one day, the idea of discriminating against any consenting adults who wish to marry will be as absurd as making African-Americans drink from separate drinking fountains. Because you see, separate but equal is not equal."
This straight white male is with you. I voted against Arizona Prop 102, much good did it do, but I am hopeful that while this change to the state constitution trumps anything our judges might have done about the state law, the US Supreme Court can find this part of our (or California's or any other state's) constitution UNconstitutional by national standards.
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