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Evan Wolfson

Evan Wolfson

Posted: July 22, 2010 08:42 AM

Freedom to Marry to NOM: This is What a Summer For Marriage Really Looks Like

What's Your Reaction:

Amid the joy and drama of Argentina's historic embrace of the freedom to marry last week, there is a retro production unfolding in cities across the country this summer. Following up on its notorious "Gathering Storm" ad, the relentless anti-gay group, "National Organization for Marriage," has been pulling up to street corners and city squares, seeking new audiences for its agenda of division and discrimination. NOM's latest stunt is to peddle fear and anger from the back of a bus.

NOM is now on an anti-gay "Summer Tour" across 17 states and the District of Columbia. In announcing its media trek, NOM declared that "this is an urgent time for marriage," and that "strong families make strong neighborhoods... towns, cities, and states." We thought they were on to something. This summer should be about love, commitment and the crucial safety net that marriage brings... but we at Freedom to Marry believe that that's exactly why marriage matters to all families across this country.

Freedom to Marry and our state partners are responding to NOM's anti-gay bus show with our own Summer For Marriage Tour. Together with our local, state, and national partners, we've planned pro-marriage events across the country in July and August, calling on real families to tell their personal stories and talk about why marriage matters. We're rejecting NOM's divisiveness in favor of a simple message to our neighbors: "Love + Commitment = Marriage."

Fortunately, as the limp attendance at NOM's sad rallies -- and the latest national polling -- indicate, the market for NOM's brand of snake oil is drying up. While turnout at NOM's "rallies" shrinks each day, Freedom to Marry's Summer for Marriage Tour is outdrawing NOM, in some cases 3-to-1.

Case in point: Trenton, New Jersey last Tuesday. An estimated 48 anti-equality supporters huddled around NOM President Brian Brown's podium, buying into his usual distractions and misinformation about gay and lesbian couples and their families. Across town over 150 supporters of the freedom to marry showed up for a Town Hall quickly organized by Garden State Equality. Same-sex couples and their children, like 19-year-old Miriam Sharpfried, recounted the harms their families endured because of exclusion from marriage. Miriam's heartfelt story about her mothers underscored that civil union is no substitute for marriage and that the freedom to marry is the only way to meet the constitution's command of equality and basic respect for all families. Unlike the families plastered on NOM's anti-equality tour bus, the families that attended this town meeting were all real New Jersey families experiencing real harms, not stock photo images.

Freedom to Marry has always believed that the best way to change hearts and minds is to break the silence and share personal stories about why marriage matters to same-sex couples and their families. The evidence is on our side; we just need to make our stories heard.

Freedom to Marry will continue to demonstrate that there is nothing more American than embracing the Golden Rule and celebrating love, commitment, and equal protection under the law. We will bring this message with us to the upcoming events in Georgia, Maryland, and D.C. We will gather LGBT families and demonstrate that they share the same values of love and commitment as everyone else and the same desire to protect their families, through good times and bad.

We launched our Summer for Marriage because we know that we cannot allow the distractions, distortions, and discriminatory agenda of groups like NOM to go unanswered. In advertising their tour, NOM referred to supporters of the freedom to marry as the "iconoclasts" who "pillage the values of our Nation." Look how NOM is depicting gay families on this tour. They have derided loving adoptive parents, attacked single-parent homes, compared their anti-equality message to that of past civil rights movements, and, in their familiar ploy, tried to market themselves as "martyrs" and "victims" - as if gay couples were bussing around the country trying to take their rights away, rather than the other way around.

They have no real arguments, and their numbers are dwindling. So let NOM bus around, trying to market drummed-up "testimonials" and concoct media stunts to drape themselves in manipulative victimhood -- all in their familiar effort to distract from the reality that when committed couples join in marriage, families are helped and no one is hurt. Americans are now bearing moral witness to that reality with their own eyes in five states and the District of Columbia -- and in 12 countries on 4 continents. With our Summer for Marriage tour, Freedom to Marry, our local partners, and our supporters across the country will show America what being FOR marriage really looks like.

 

Follow Evan Wolfson on Twitter: www.twitter.com/freedomtomarry

 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
esperando
02:06 PM on 07/27/2010
Go to https://www.kintera.org/site/apps/ka/rg/register.asp?c=mkLRJ5MQKtH&b=5281769&en=7pKHJONoH5LCLWNDJ9KCKVNDLmJXJ1OAIfJOL3NEJkLOKVPELtH- to order a FREE NOM bumper sticker. The more you order and tear up, the less money they’ll have to funnel into scary adverts that equate gays with pedophiles or ballot initiatives to strip gay people of their civil rights, so get the word out to as many equal marriage supporters as possible. Even if they nip the problem in the bud and stop offering free bumper stickers right away, we will still have disrupted a major part of their advertising.
12:29 PM on 07/24/2010
NOM is inventing victimhood...tell that to their slashed bus tire.

What does the Summer for Marriage tour offer...anecdotes.

What does NOM's tour offer...arguments, principled objections, logic, reasoning, evidence, and open arms.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mercury613
In the blue TV screen light
05:27 PM on 07/25/2010
What evidence?
10:14 AM on 07/26/2010
For example, studies and statistics.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ioan Lightoller
Proud Gay Pagan Man, Living Happily With Husband
01:51 AM on 07/23/2010
Great to see hate losing out.
10:40 PM on 07/22/2010
The NOMbie Horde lurches into Columbus, OH tomorrow! Come join us if you can.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Rob Halpin
01:14 PM on 07/22/2010
I look forward to the day when all gay couples can be married and I believe we'll see that day sooner rather than later. It's encouraging and heartwarming to see the success that Freedom to Marry is having with its rallies. Well done!
01:07 PM on 07/22/2010
Thanks Evan for the tremendous column. It is just so apparent that NOM's is rapidly losing support. Their days are numbered and so much of it has to do with the work of organization's like your's. Thanks!
11:49 AM on 07/22/2010
I plan to be at the Columbus , Ohio NOM rally, accompanied by some of my co-workers who support my upcoming marriage to my partner of 10 years. We will be having a September church wedding in Columbus, LAW or NO LAW...........
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HUFFPOST PUNDIT
Jdaddy1951
10:39 AM on 07/22/2010
The National Organization for Marriage, and its primary spokeswoman, Maggie Gallagher, epitomize obsessive homophobia, which needs to be classified by mental health and medical professioanls and a psychiatric disortder.

People who espouse bigotry in the name of religion are not very Christian or very much in line with most religions, which are centered around love and acceptance. This is another reason why I think the American Psychiatric Association needs to classify homophobia as a mental disorder because the people who suffer from it are obsessed with what goes on in the private lives of people they don't even know. Such learned behavior as homophobia can't be natural, but it's possible it can be cured --- in extreme cases, where the homophobe starts babbling about selective bible quotes, electroshock therapy might be considered useful.
10:32 AM on 07/22/2010
their ignorance is astounding. i'm a proud gay man who raised 5 kids not of his own because their hetero parents were either unable or chose not to be responsible. it is i that taught them about the "birds and the bees" and the confusing changes that would occur. it was i that bought the girls there first training bra and feminine products. it was i that got up every night when they were sick, or needed changing or were troubled by nightmares. it was i that gave up college so as to be home and support them at every chance. all of them are now leading happy, healthy and productive lives. serving their country and communities from US Army, to involvement in community affairs, to president of green initiatives at her major college campus to another tutoring inner-city youths. and regardless as to what NOM and others like them would have people believe, none was "converted" to homosexuality. they are all heterosexual.
01:12 PM on 07/22/2010
IN ALL SERIOUSNESS: For making the choice to raise happy, well-adjusted, caring and responsible citizens I would like to thank you for your service to our country!
01:31 PM on 07/22/2010
thank you!