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Eve Ensler

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Over It

Posted: 11/11/11 04:37 PM ET

I am over rape.

I am over rape culture, rape mentality, rape pages on Facebook.

I am over the thousands of people who signed those pages with their real names without shame.

I am over people demanding their right to rape pages, and calling it freedom of speech or justifying it as a joke.

I am over people not understanding that rape is not a joke and I am over being told I don't have a sense of humor, and women don't have a sense of humor, when most women I know (and I know a lot) are really fucking funny. We just don't think that uninvited penises up our anus, or our vagina is a laugh riot.

I am over how long it seems to take anyone to ever respond to rape.

I am over Facebook taking weeks to take down rape pages.

I am over the hundreds of thousands of women in Congo still waiting for the rapes to end and the rapists to be held accountable.

I am over the thousands of women in Bosnia, Burma, Pakistan, South Africa, Guatemala, Sierra Leone, Haiti, Afghanistan, Libya, you name a place, still waiting for justice.

I am over rape happening in broad daylight.

I am over the 207 clinics in Ecuador supported by the government that are capturing, raping, and torturing lesbians to make them straight.

I am over one in three women in the U.S military (Happy Veterans Day!) getting raped by their so-called "comrades."

I am over the forces that deny women who have been raped the right to have an abortion.

I am over the fact that after four women came forward with allegations that Herman Cain groped them and grabbed them and humiliated them, he is still running for the President of the United States.

And I'm over CNBC debate host Maria Bartiromo getting booed when she asked him about it. She was booed, not Herman Cain.

Which reminds me, I am so over the students at Penn State who protested the justice system instead of the alleged rapist pedophile of at least 8 boys, or his boss Joe Paterno, who did nothing to protect those children after knowing what was happening to them.

I am over rape victims becoming re-raped when they go public.

I am over starving Somalian women being raped at the Dadaab refugee camp in Kenya, and I am over women getting raped at Occupy Wall Street and being quiet about it because they were protecting a movement which is fighting to end the pillaging and raping of the economy and the earth, as if the rape of their bodies was something separate.

I am over women still being silent about rape, because they are made to believe it's their fault or they did something to make it happen.

I am over violence against women not being a #1 international priority when one out of three women will be raped or beaten in her lifetime -- the destruction and muting and undermining of women is the destruction of life itself.

No women, no future, duh.

I am over this rape culture where the privileged with political and physical and economic might, take what and who they want, when they want it, as much as they want, any time they want it.

I am over the endless resurrection of the careers of rapists and sexual exploiters -- film directors, world leaders, corporate executives, movie stars, athletes -- while the lives of the women they violated are permanently destroyed, often forcing them to live in social and emotional exile.

I am over the passivity of good men. Where the hell are you?

You live with us, make love with us, father us, befriend us, brother us, get nurtured and mothered and eternally supported by us, so why aren't you standing with us? Why aren't you driven to the point of madness and action by the rape and humiliation of us?

I am over years and years of being over rape.

And thinking about rape every day of my life since I was 5-years-old.

And getting sick from rape, and depressed from rape, and enraged by rape.

And reading my insanely crowded inbox of rape horror stories every hour of every single day.

I am over being polite about rape. It's been too long now, we have been too understanding.

We need to OCCUPYRAPE in every school, park, radio, TV station, household, office, factory, refugee camp, military base, back room, night club, alleyway, courtroom, UN office. We need people to truly try and imagine -- once and for all -- what it feels like to have your body invaded, your mind splintered, your soul shattered. We need to let our rage and our compassion connect us so we can change the paradigm of global rape.

There are approximately one billion women on the planet who have been violated.

ONE BILLION WOMEN.

The time is now. Prepare for the escalation.

Today it begins, moving toward February 14, 2013, when one billion women will rise to end rape.

Because we are over it.

 

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01:04 AM on 12/20/2011
I am over society viewing rape as only a male-perpetrator crime.
10:00 PM on 12/13/2011
POWERFUL!!
11:34 AM on 12/05/2011
Thank you for this article. I appreciate your words so much.
03:33 PM on 11/28/2011
I am also over rape. I know too many people who have been violated and it needs to stop.

I am also over the idea that people are often considered guilty until proven innocent if they are accused of rape.

In a perfect world, nobody would lie about being raped. However, in a perfect world nobody would be raped either.

I was falsely accused of sexual assault when I was younger. It is something that caused me real emotional harm and has impacted me to this day. (And I was lucky, it never went to trial because her story was bogus).

So please remember that when someone is accused of rape that in this country they are considered to be innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Allow the justice system to do its job. And when someone is found guilty of a crime of sexual violence, throw the damned book at them because they deserve nothing less.
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10:56 PM on 11/26/2011
I have never been raped -- not yet. But as a young girl, a teenager, I had to fight off two men who did try to rape me. One was a complete stranger who attacked me at a lake and threw me into some bushes and attempted to rape me. He almost succeeded until my sister pulled me away. Of course, we reported the attack, he was caught. He had been in and out of prison for this behavior and he got a slap on the wrist. The other time, I was 15-years-old and my attacker was a friend of my brother. He locked me in his truck and stripped me naked before I could escape. There are too many men out there who get away with rape.
02:25 AM on 11/25/2011
Don't be embarassed. It's GOOD.
02:18 AM on 11/25/2011
That is assuming you haven't already.
09:13 PM on 11/22/2011
I am not a native speaker of English, could an English native speaker please confirm that "over" here means "I am fed up"? Or does it mean "I have had enough"?
Thank you.
07:02 AM on 11/23/2011
To be honest I read "over" here as Eve being "fed up", which you've interpreted rightly. But it's mainly an Americanism; usually to be "over" something means to "put it behind you", to move on. If it's used in this case here then it's sarcasm: we are clearly not going to put rape behind us.
12:40 PM on 11/22/2011
...I wish for many reasons my teacher and my parents had told me about the dangers of rape: not because I myself have any regrets on the matter, but because knowing one teacher is/was out there spreading the word of good would put my mind a little more to rest about the new generations. Instead they get their moral philosophy handed to them by Hollyoaks, Eastenders - to name a couple - and the cyber world. Though such things aren't intrinsically corrupt, they don't serve to make any clearer the subject.

As everyone else on here has said, education is indeed the key, but it's going to require more than just the teachers. It's going to require all of us. It's going to require the lobbying of government to provide better educational packs for all teachers, parents, and guardians and better training in how to tackle this important subject. Above all it's going to require the initiative of some brave souls to hit home the message to everyone.
12:40 PM on 11/22/2011
We were told how to put a condom on a banana, but were never really told the importance of consent. I remember clear as day the twenty minutes after lunch in year 10 when we would do exercises on citizenship and political issues. One day our teacher was trying to explain the law on sexual intercourse; but the law being as wishy-washy as it is, and the discussion surrounding it being so vague (I don't even recall being told about harassment) that even I joked whether we needed the consenting partner to sign a form before having sex, to which my teacher reasoned "yes" and we all fell about laughing how ridiculous that would be.

This still seems ridiculous to me, but the matter is not. I wish the greatest wish that my teacher back then had the means and the information to be able to sit us all down, look us in the eye and just tell us that there is no sensible definition of rape in law, but that that doesn't matter; that sex rather should be a matter of consent, free of distress, unwelcome violence, and negative feeling. I wish my teacher had said that we could all engage in sex if we so pleased, as long as we knew for sure the partner was as willing as us; that we practised safe-sex; and that we were able to stop sex at any time, free of guilt or shame...
12:37 PM on 11/22/2011
First off, I am over the hazy definitions of rape that most young people - be them male, female or of alternative gender - are only ever partly aware of. For too many years was I raised with the fear of talking about rape as a young adolescent because the very word was seen as a taboo. I don't know about the generation either side of me, or even the rest of my generation across the country (England), but this was something we never talked about.

Now I see rape everywhere, but it's still never discussed directly what it is or who is capable of it. I see it has become a 'joke' because of the very reason so many other things become jokes - because of the shock of its intrinsic 'taboo-value'. This never leads to more discussion on the subject, just young people like myself perpetuating vague views of rape - which in itself we would never want to commit, but we aren't truly aware of what we are supposed to be avoiding. It was only upon coming to university that I truly understood what rape was, thanks to the understanding explanation of my girlfriend. But that in itself came from her knowing exactly the sorts of boundaries that should be drawn with the importance of consent, and even then I will never know truly how a victim of rape feels.

Both her and I were the product of our times.
03:22 PM on 11/21/2011
.interact with each other instead of always pointing a morale finger as if we are the only ones in the right. What if there is a good reason for the things that people do? What if by understanding that reason we could adjust how we treat each other in ways that create more love and understanding in the world and people got more of what they needed by way of love and that created more well adjusted people that felt safe in their own skin? Only love can create more love in the world. Approaching this issue from hate and anger will only create more hate and anger. Just my thought, from my perspective of no longer being a victim.
11:34 AM on 12/22/2011
What, exactly, is a "good" reason for causing harm to another human being? I'm sorry, but anger is not wrong. How we act on it might be, but the energy and passion created by anger can be channeled to do good things. Trying to deny it causes indifference.
02:03 PM on 11/21/2011
can we be over all crime in general?

and can you also be over women "crying wolf" about rape? Probably the thing that hurts women the most in this respect is destruction of their credibility caused by the discovery of those who perpetrate falsehoods (Duke Lacross scandal)
07:25 PM on 11/22/2011
There's no question that pressing false charges for rape is despicable, but to suggest that it's the thing that 'hurts women the most in this respect' is silly. Rape has been taken less seriously than other violent crime throughout history. For example, until the 90's there were still states in the U.S. that didn't even recognize the rape of a wife by her husband as a crime. Next to that kind of inequity in the law, lack of credibility due to "crying wolf" is small potatoes, wouldn't you agree?
06:02 PM on 11/27/2011
The incidence of false rape reporting is less than that of false/fraudulent claims of motor vehicle theft (from memory, 1-2% and 3-4% respectively).
Further, it should be remembered that often rape claims that are not investigated further by police can often be lumped in with truly false claims (depending on methodology), distorting actual numbers.
03:27 PM on 11/28/2011
The percentage shouldn't matter. If it is wrong, then it is wrong.

You are correct that rape claims not investigated should not be deemed to be false accusations. But false accusations do happen. I was a victim of one. I was very fortunate that it didn't go to court. However, it left me scarred for the rest of my life.
01:15 PM on 01/05/2012
An Air Force study concluded that nearly HALF of all rape claims were false (not unproven mind you, but false.) Sexual Assault claims are the single most falsely reported crimes in America. I don't know where you got the 1-2% statistic, but even by the FBIs most generous view on the subject, the rate of false rape claims is at 9%. Both rape and false accusations of rape must be taken seriously and the perpetrators should be seriously punished. Of course false accusers are given virtually no punishment at all. Thats the real tragedy.
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abhorson
in favor of legalized bar fighting
04:09 AM on 11/20/2011
Well, Eve, I don't think it's a "laugh riot" ... I don't joke about it... I don't make fun of it...

Now, any specific proposals ???
Teresa Ann Foxworthy
Artist & Consultant
12:13 AM on 11/20/2011
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you...for finding your voice & using it so eloquently, so powerfully, so heartfully, so purposefully, so clearly, so decisively, so strategically, so effectively. namaste forever! i started a group on FB for this very purpose: https://www.facebook.com/groups/goddessworship To focus on adoring women, yes, even worshiping women, for indeed they not only bear Life, but hold the moral compass to our world.