After my daughter was born, 18 months ago, I started a list of the things nobody told me about parenting. The idea that you will do anything to get your child to go to sleep--and stay asleep--made its debut on the list at #1. Right behind #2: The bouncing! So much bouncing! (and let's not even get into the rocking, swinging and jiggling.) And #3: That a baby will make you belly laugh so hard, so much. The pace at which I add to this list has slowed down. I don't know (yet) if there is a place filled with as many eye-popping moments as newborn-land, but I have an inkling that there are more challenges, confusion, hilarity... Which is why finding real parents to speak to all of it, with complete candor, is the first goal of this site.
The problem is that when I told my friends and family about the "Why didn't you tell me!?" list, they all said things like, "We did!" or "You just couldn't understand." They may have had a point. So much of what life is like with children is unfathomable until you're there. That's why meeting parents with kids the same age as your own is essential. But, new friends are hard to make as a grown-up. That's our second goal: to connect you to a community and to provide a place where we will hash out the issues together. HuffPost Parents is home for anyone wondering, Now what?
Getting this job was a little scary to me. I'm leaving a place where I felt secure, and my colleagues had become like family. When I met with Arianna to interview, she knew something was holding me back. She asked me, "Where is your heart?" which was possibly the most unexpected question I've ever been asked in a job interview, right after "What's your superpower?"
"With my daughter." It was the first answer that popped into my head.
But, when I got home that day, I thought about the possibility in front of me. The chance to report news that matters to parents. To talk to experts who can provide answers and other mothers and fathers, ready with encouragement, advice, maybe a good margarita recipe.
I remembered that being open to challenge and change is a requirement for everything great. If I'd been too scared to get pregnant, yes, I'd be sleeping in on Sunday mornings, but there would be no baby kisses when I woke up. That is a life I can't imagine anymore.
A few hours later, I decided my heart was in this big-time. So, welcome. Pull up a bouncy seat. Thank you for joining us at HuffPost Parents.
I wrote my thoughts on the issue under the title, "Why do we have children? Is it just the thing to do?" on my own blog (http://romeoclayton.com/?p=3866). As a parent of a nine-year-old son, I learn new things everyday, and it is a proud joy to do so. However, I struggle with the idea of doing it again. To relive the late, sleepless nights, "bouncy" days, and endless incoherent communications between my child and I is something that is best done vicariously through other people, like this blog :-).
In any case, congratulations on the new position and also both the joys and challenges of parenthood.
Romeo Clayton
Here's a quick tip and request from an experienced 52 yr old mom with a well-seasoned maternal instinct. You would do well to delete the word "margarita" from your article and substitute "homemade baby food".
NEVER mix parenting and/or children with alcohol. Please heed this advice and tell all your friends. It's just too damn dangerous. As a parent, you must be fit, alert and ready at any moment 24/7 to make life and death decisions and/or make a quick run to the ER or pediatrician. Your child's life and well-being depends on it. A child's fate can turn in a nano-second. You must be ever ready.
Additionally, teachers, doctors, parents, in-laws, siblings, neighbors and yes, even friends and other people's kids will make it their business to scrutinize your parenting skills. As soon as possible, learn the list of what's expected in order to practice, cultivate and establish the coveted "They're-Such-Good-Parents" reputation in your community. I assure you ... your credibility as good parents directly impacts your child's life by greatly affecting the quantity and quality of social and other choices you will have as parents. Don't mess up by showing up somewhere, when you least expect it, eminating that bearly-perceivable-yet-incrimminating "oh-no-they've-been-drinking-so-what-about-the baby" hint of alcohol. It's just not worth it.
Take care,
Elizabeth
While it's fun to focus on the fun, rewarding aspects of parenting, I also hope you focus on some of the tougher issues facing parents today. Having normal, healthy, loving relationships with our children after separation or divorce isn't possible unless both parents co-parent effectively and make the children's best interests their priority. Unfortunately, I hear from many Moms and Dads whose relationships with their children become strained, and sometimes broken, if one parent pulls the children into the adult conflict and forces them to choose sides. Anything you can do to help children maintain their relationships both parents after divorce or separation will be service to your readers.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
mike jeffries
Author, A Family's Heartbreak: A Parent's Introduction to Parental Alienation
You experience such a run of emotions that you had no idea existed. I will never forget her little nose being stuffy once. Her mother was using one of those things designed to clear her nasal pasage. I could only stand in the door way and watch. My child was crying from the this "nose thing" lol. Funny, for the first time in my life I learned how helplessness felt. There was nothing I could do. Parenting taught me so much. That was 34 years and to more kids ago! Good luck and enjoy this special time.
Anyway - I love this post, love these ideas! And you know, research shows that marital satisfaction goes down when a baby is born, In this society, we are set up to be pretty clueless abt the change in priorities that having babies and children require, abt the true nature of babies....so we have trouble adjusting, we get depressed, we try to control things and get anxious.....Luckily, there is alot of help out there now, regarding parentng & counseling re maternal and family emotional health!