Last night, broke routine and watched the Golden Globes pre-show, and I swear by the time the actual show started, i was so annoyed that I nearly threw a shoe at my TV.
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I love movies. I really do. I could sit all day and night and watch movies. Not that I actually would, mind you; my wife would kill me.

Movies are a panacea to most of my life's worries. Whenever I feel the blues, I push play on my DVD player and watch Rushmore or Gladiator, for example, and all is well. There are even a few TV shows that can fall into that category: Arrested Development or Battlestar Galactica, for example.

I get excited about good writing and filmmaking and it was with this excitement that I sat to watch the Golden Globes last night. Normally, I skip the whole red carpet crap and watch the actual show only. Last night, however, I broke routine and watched the pre-show, and I swear by the time the actual show started, i was so annoyed that I nearly threw a shoe at my TV.

It's not the format of the pre-show, per se. It was your standard run of the mill production. And it's not the fashion: Eva Mendes and Demi Moore looked hot as ever, although I don't know why everyone was in cream colors; did the rest of us not get the memo?

It's just that when the actors open their mouths that I cringe and curl into a ball, as if I've just heard French manicured fingernails slide down a chalkboard (I don't know if chalkboards still exist, and this analogy may be moribund, if not totally obsolete already).

Actors are simply not important. I'm sorry, they're not. It's usually only in films that they have relevance. Otherwise, they're often complete morons. They should keep their mouths shut unless a writer is in the driver's seat of their lips.

I mean, is it just me? I tried to continue watching with as much equanimity as I could muster; honest I did. But every single word from Colin or Miley or Robert's mouth just cut into my composure like a tank shell on a Japanese paper wall.

I am amazed that we worship them like we do.

They are merely vessels, people. They are the body to the writer's soul. With a few magnanimous exceptions, they rarely have anything interesting to say, and they rarely count for anything in the world other than quintessential examples of excess and pretentiousness.

It's shameful that they are the demigods we spend so much time reading about and watching when there are so many more noble things we can spend the precious few moments we are alive on.

But how about that Demi? How is she still so hot?!

P.S. I acknowledge the exceptions: people like Jolie and Penn, for example.

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