It's puzzling to see the harsh reactions to Bishop Gabino Zavala's resignation as Auxiliary Bishop of Los Angeles after his admission that he fathered two teenage children as a consequence of a hidden sexual relationship with their mother -- the Bishop's secret girlfriend. I was determined to pray for Bishop Zavala quietly and not say a word, but since the Associated Press and other media outfits decided to mention my name and include me in a list with a number of church leaders in their widely circulated article, I decided to speak out and share my thoughts.
What troubles me about the reactions of so many who claim to feel "betrayed" is that when we discover that priests have had hidden sexual relationships with adults, too many people have a tendency to quickly speak of a "life of duplicity" or a moral "failure," yet we never saw this same type of outrage when it was discovered -- and unfortunately continues to be discovered -- that the same institution developed a culture of secrecy and protected truly criminal behavior in the thousands of cases involving the sexual abuse of minors by priests and bishops. Where are the voices of "outrage" when minors and innocent children are involved?
When a priest fails to keep celibacy, that man-made rule that even the Roman Catholic Church admits is changeable, adaptable and dispensable, we should not be so easily scandalized. We live in the 21st century and sexuality should no longer be a taboo subject for most of us. The fact is that all human beings, including priests and bishops, are sexual beings and are capable of living up to their highest aspirations and ideals, while also capable of falling short of them. Sexuality among consenting, single adults cannot continue to be considered "a great scandal" in or out of church. On the other hand, covered up promiscuous and criminal sexual acts are truly scandalous and often brushed under the carpet.
When I wrote "Dilemma," published exactly one year ago, my intention was never to attack the church of my youth, instigate greater controversy nor did I want to justify my own failure to live a celibate life after falling in love with the woman who today I am happy to say is my lovely wife. I was motivated to write my memoir to give a voice to people like Bishop Zavala and thousands of others who are excellent priests and good men, yet they have not found their call to priestly service as always compatible with their acceptance of the celibate commitment made when they were much younger men at ordination.
Did Bishop Zavala act rightly or was he wrong by keeping his secret girlfriend and children hidden so long? I think only God knows that and only God can judge him. Yet, very few seem to be asking the deeper questions involved in this and so many other similar stories: What leads a good priest and dedicated bishop to live a life of secrecy? Who really understands the level of loneliness involved in the life of a decent and hardworking shepherd of souls? What is it about the institutional life and the clerical environment that has led so many to similar situations? In his heart Bishop Zavala knows and each one of us who has lived with that similar dilemma -- in and out of active ministry in the Roman Church -- also knows.
Ultra-conservatives and religious fanatics will say that, "The devil made him do it" I prefer to follow the opinion of a wise and experienced seminary professor and author on the present and future of the priesthood, Father Daniel Cozzens, who said: "I see this, rather, as a tragic situation ... It's another sad example of fundamentally good priests and bishops who struggle with the burden of celibacy if it is not their gift."
Leaving your familiar ministerial environment, daily life and work to follow your heart takes time and courage. Church reform also takes time. Hopefully, one day soon, all good men and women will be able to serve God in peace and freedom, without unnecessary non-biblical burdens. But in the meantime, wouldn't it be great if devout people would learn the value of greater compassion and forgiveness, especially to those who absolved them of their sins so many times? In situations like these, the words of Jesus are more relevant than ever: "Whoever has no sin, cast the first stone" (John 8:7).
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Rev. Jay Emerson Johnson, Ph.D.: Homos for the Holidays: A Religion Survival Guide
“Los Angeles Auxiliary Bishop Gabino Zavala, NACDLGM’s episÂcopal moderator and liaison to the NCCB [ National Conference of Catholic Bishops], emphasized one of the main points of the group’s agenda: to work on the conversion of those Catholics who still object to homosexuality.
There is no doubt there are celibate priests who are faithful to their promise and happy with their choice. But, how do we treat those who are not and can we show compassion for what they have been through when it is discovered they have fallen short of the ideal?
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/07/us/married-roman-catholic-priests-are-testing-a-tradition.html?_r=1
Personally, I would be happy to receive any of the sacrements from you and/or the Bishop. Both of you are still holy and beautiful men and I hope that both of you wll continue ministering and uplifting people. The two of you are truly the voices crying out in the wilderness.
Your concern for the children is missing, but they don't wear priest outfits.
Why do we assume he will not support his children?
And I seem to remember vast outpourings not just of criticism and accusations but of anger and even rage at the church's shameful actions in the scandals of child abuse and of cover-up that seemingly pervade the entire fabric of the church from nation to nation.
That, of course, is something only men can truly understand who had that loving relationship to a woman, sex included.
So if a priest will do the right thing for himself and the ones he is supposed to care for by simply becoming a happy adult, he has my blessings.
So you think the church is a democracy? You and the Pope are going to have the same say? I don't get this.
It's like a leaky old boat with a tyrant captain who knows that if he told the sailors that the planks are rotting and there is no hope of finding new ones, they would mutiny. He keeps up a good face, and stays in familiar channels because taking risks could swamp the old timbers. They don't like where the captain is going, but instead of finding a boat that has a future and is going where they want to go, they just grouse and rationalize and pretend they have a say when they don't. It's their boat, isn't it?
I dunno. It sounds a little like double talk; like the "celibate commitment" has no relevance at all to the "call to priestly service". Isn't the argument always that celibacy frees the servant to be totally committed to the cause without the distractions and encumbrances of sexual relations and familial responsibilities. Yeah, I know. It's a total crock. But when one finds out that its a total crock, why live the lie? Are all of those thousands so petrified to leave the embrace of mother church and find another way to serve? I don't judge them. We all have our limits. But I'm not exactly sure, either, why you feel there is a need for "giving them voice". Let them give themselves voice with their feet, like you apparently did.
My favorite part is that he had TWO children. He didn't even stop at one. I'm sure he never took extra money to pay for his children's expenses over the last decade either, and that he will give a full accounting to the diocese.
"Tod Tamberg, Los Angeles archdiocesan spokesman, said the archdiocese had received questions about the possible usage of archdiocesan funds by the bishop to support his children and their mother. He said a financial audit of the San Gabriel pastoral region budget found everything in order.
"There's been no indication of mismanagement or misuses of archdiocesan funds," Tamberg told Catholic News Service."
http://ncronline.org/news/people/bishop-resigns-after-disclosing-he-father-two-children?page=1