The Blog

Karen Cleveland: Etiquette Tips for Your Hot Valentine's Date

2012-02-10T19:29:16Z

Good manners are sexy! There's nothing like a hot date to motivate us to gussy up our manners, and Valentine's Day is the New Year's Eve of dating occasions. Put aside hokey notions of stuffed animals, heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and menus of aphrodisiacs -- while they are sweet, they feel a bit too contrived. Subtly is sexier, anyways.

Valentine's Day is a packed night to go out to dinner, so reservations might be a very good idea. If you are going somewhere that doesn't take reservations, or you are just meeting up someplace casual or for a drink, get there early. That way, you can beat your date there and nab great seats. Alternatively, you might be stuck wasting a half hour of your time together jammed in a foyer, waiting for seats to free up.

You want your date's full attention (and they want yours) so keep phones away. If it is out of site, you will be less tempted to check it. Bad table manners are a massive turn off, so be mindful of keeping your napkin on your lap, not inhaling your meal or talking with your mouth full. And the kinder you treat the wait staff, the more you'll charm your date.

If you are checking out a new place, you might want to give some thought to how you'll get there and where you'll park, to avoid being late.

Even the best of dates can awkward when the bill hits the table. Avoid a drawn-out exchange of "I'll get it," "No, I insist, I'll get it." If someone really wants to treat you, let them and graciously thank them. If the night is going well and you want to reciprocate, you could offer to carry on someplace else for dessert, coffee or a drink as your treat, or offer to pick up the bill for your next date.

At the risk of sounding bold, your date will likely scope how much gratuity you've left on the bill. We've all done it. Fifteen per cent is standard for good service and more is always appreciated by those serving you.

Beverley Golden: Looking for Love in the Online Dating World

2012-02-10T19:12:14Z

This is an article I honestly never thought that I'd write. Although I sincerely would love to be in a committed, loving relationship, as a person who cherishes personal connection and one-on-one interactions, I admit I'm probably not the most likely person to be reporting on my experiences with online dating sites.

Alas, in this month of all things love and romance, I was compelled to sit down and share my stories. Experiences that have me wondering how anyone ever possibly meets someone of integrity on these online sites. The claim from Match.com that one out of five new relationships now start online, was eye-opening. Wow, 20 per cent! Got me thinking that something, so far, is definitely not working for me.

The current site I'm on, (which I discovered while doing research on intimacy), intrigued me and I was curious to take their online test and uncover my dominant personality type. The test was created by author and biological anthropologist Helen Fisher PhD, one of the world's leading experts on sex, love, marriage and dating. On this site, it's all about the chemistry between the four personality types. I was surprised to discover that I'm an explorer, with strong negotiator skills coming in a close second. Everyone I shared this with confirmed they saw me perfectly as an explorer. True to my type, I jumped in, ready to explore.

I've currently been on the site several months and frankly I've have had more conversations with their customer service people than with any prospective matches. The male supervisor, my inside connection, and I have had lively, laugh-out-loud conversations as he continues to encourage me to stick with it. In the last conversation, I actually asked if he was available, as he appears the closest thing to a match that I believe this site will offer me. He laughed. Gotta love a guy who gets my sense of humour!

Recent events finally convinced me that I just had to sit down and tell all. A few days ago I got three close together email interactions from what appeared to be a lovely man, who lives a mere four and a half hour drive from Toronto. Remaining open to possibility, I wouldn't let the distance between us stop me. In his photo, he looked impeccably dressed in a dapper smoking jacket with ascot. Personally I have no interest in a partner who smokes (or wears a smoking jacket), but when I checked out his profile, I was relieved to see that I could safely move forward. He claimed that he never smokes.

His email immediately flattered me and he expressed a keen desire to have a voice-to-voice conversation, suggesting we jump to that ASAP. So far, so good. Less than 12 hours later, I got a notice that once again I was being matched with the same gentleman. Same name, but magically he was now a year younger than he had been the day before. A bit confusing. I wondered if that was something he could teach me how to do, considering I just had a birthday and in a 12-hour period, I actually became a year older. His picture was the same, only now it was a close-up, so the smoking jacket and ascot were less visible. I was happy I hadn't answered the last email and given him my personal contact info.

When I called my trusty, laughing, in-house supervisor, he explained that sometimes this happens. Oh, this crazy world of online dating. I asked, "Wouldn't you at least change your name if you were attempting to get a profile backup?" More laughing from my inside man. The bottom line was that this match was flagged and his profile withdrawn and he immediately tried to create a new profile which was also flagged and removed. I asked if this happens often? Unfortunately, it happens.

Because this wasn't the first time this happened to me, I'm not sure why I was surprised. Back in the very beginning, I was actually excited about a man who appeared to live about 15 minutes from me and whose profile sounded great. Although his wide acceptable age range for potential matches was 18-105, somehow I didn't see the warning flag in that. Some might call me naive.

He emailed me after we expressed mutual interest and perhaps again I should have known something was wrong when he signed his email with a different name than his profile name. Hmm. And, he was actually a really lonely guy on contract in Malaysia. So much for the potential short drive to meet up with him. He too was flagged and pulled from this site. Where are all the real, authentic men? Does this happen to men looking for women too?

They've now sent me many possible matches and only a very few even look remotely interesting to me. Having just read Jane Fonda's new book Primetime, I remembered reading that sometimes you have to go through a lot of matches to find one worth exploring. For me, it feels incredibly time-consuming and two-dimensional. One of my main criteria is that men at least put up a photo. I've been told that many men don't because they are either hiding something (like they're married) or don't want to be judged by how they look. So, what would happen in person?

A recent Business Insider article reported that apparently smiles in online photos are out for men. I wondered why. Men who look away from the camera and don't smile have a much higher chance of getting a response than those who look directly into the camera. Apparently guys who look at the camera get less messages than those who don't, according to OkCupid CEO, Sam Yagan, who guesses the reason is because it's intimidating to women. I don't get that at all, as I personally always go for the smiling man looking directly at me.

The statistics relating to online dating sites are quite staggering. According to Dating Site Reviews, the dating service industry in the United States is projected to be worth $2.1 billion, with an estimated 1,500 dating sites in the U. S. alone. Sounds like a small country of hopeful relationship seekers. Seems any criteria can be a launching point for a dating site. Whether that be age, religion, spiritual beliefs, or your intelligence, there is probably a dating site you can sign on with.

In the United States, there are 54 million singles with 5.5 million of those using dating services. Twenty-five per cent of Canadians have tried online dating with 69 per cent saying they probably wouldn't try them. Sixty-four per cent of online daters say common interests are the most important factor in finding a potential partner online, with 49 per cent reporting it's more about the physical characteristics seen in photos and videos. Online dating sites in the U.S collectively had an amazing 593 million visits in October, 2011.

Not too long ago, a male friend actually suggested I write an article on online dating, after hearing a radio report that women are hiring private detectives to screen and check out perspective matches found on the Internet, as dating sites typically don't engage in any background checks. Hiring a private detective. "Count me out of that," I thought. It seemed absolutely outside my realm of understanding. One thing I do continually hear is that it is imperative to be cautious. Generally trusting by nature, I was curious and wanted to understand where people most often choose to misrepresent themselves.

Catalina L. Toma, an assistant professor in the communication arts department, University of Wisconsin-Madison, investigated how people present themselves and how they judge misrepresentation. For me, the findings were shocking, indicating that about 81 per cent of people misrepresent their height, weight or age in their profiles. The "bright side" conclusion was that people tend to only tell small lies because they may eventually meet in person. My question: In these areas, are any lies actually acceptable?

So, although I'm staying open to being found by an ideal match, I do take a deep breath every time I open another email introducing me to a potential match. I know this way of meeting works for many people. I've heard numerous success stories. At the very least, I see it as a great way for me to do research on human behaviour. As an explorer and curious investigator, it offers a wealth of new personal experiences and potential stories. Maybe even some great new cyber friends in really far away places, too.

What stories do you have of your online dating experiences...whether good, or not so good?

Visit me at: www.beverleygolden.com

Blue Carreon: A Conversation With Fashion Designer and Style Icon Rachel Roy

2012-02-10T17:51:14Z

Before her fall 2012 presentation on Monday, Feb. 13, fashion designer -- and muse and style icon to many -- Rachel Roy talks about Deepak Chopra and spirituality, taking charge of her future, and sleeping naked:

When I wake up... I read Deepak Chopra's tweets.

Before I go to bed... I kiss my kids.

A well-dressed man/woman... illuminates.

Women should always... sleep naked.

The best thing that's been said about me... she is loyal, funny, fun, and honest.

If I weren't doing what I'm doing today... I would find a new way to create the best quality of life for myself and others.

My legacy... is to empower women through employment.

A great idea... pen, paper, books.

Botox is... foreign.

My mother... is honorable, patient and kind.

The soundtrack of my life... plays passionate, provocative, soulful, joyous music.

The future... is up to me.

Happiness... is within us all the time.

There's a time and place for... work.

There is too much... hurt.

In the end... the people I love and who love me will travel to the next realm with me.

Photo of Rachel Roy and the sketch from her fall 2012 collection courtesy of Rachel Roy.

Read more from me at Style Intel.

Barbara Sibbald: Adultery: Someone Always Loses

2012-02-10T17:34:06Z

Of the 1,154 past or present human societies, nearly 1,000 have permitted a man to have more than one wife.

Life-long fidelity is a Judeo-Christian invention, which likely came about for economic reasons: a way to guarantee paternity of offspring for men with property to bequeath and ensure financial stability for women embarking on the long child-rearing years. Eventually, marriage became the precursor to sex (at least in theory).

Nowadays, with modern contraception and larger, more anonymous communities, infidelity is easy. Among !Kung San village, two per cent of kids result from cuckoldry; in some contemporary urban neighbourhoods the figure is five per cent to 20 per cent.

Why is adultery so common? There's the sexual rush fuelled by the secrecy imperative. And the excitement of a new partner brings us back in a temporal slight of hand to previous emotional times, and so the tryst makes us feel young.

The contemporary pathos is also fed by the pervasive importance of sex -- from cooking shows to comic books -- and the belief that good, regular sex is our right. Added to this is the emotional comfort of sex: it is the one time when we are most assuredly living in the now, the most present.

This is the backdrop. There are a million personal variations on the reasons for having affairs, but usually it boils down to two things. First, we think something is genuinely amiss with the home relationship and justify the clandestine relationship as a way to fulfill needs that aren't met in the marriage; second, and more common (although few have the self-knowledge to see it), something is missing in ourselves, be it self-esteem, security, or the capacity for contentment, and we look for it in someone else. Remember: One must be well to love well.

Regardless of the impetus, adultery is fraught with peril.

Clandestine betrayal -- and that's what it is, make no mistake about it -- is nasty. Once you have broken that promise, that vow of faithfulness, there is a terrible sense of loss, no matter how you dress it up. In addition to the betrayal of your shared intimacy, the lying takes a toll. Lying about the where and with whom. Taking furtive showers in the secret lover's bathroom, trying not to get your hair wet. And each lie adds a layer of deceit until you hardly know what to say to your partner anymore.

Then something happens. You may get caught and have to contend with the fallout from a battered ego and lost trust. You may face a gradual, painful and long breakup. Or your partner may kick you out, physically and/or psychologically. Affairs are poignant tragedies if they lead to the dissolution of an arrangement that's good for raising children. If it's between adults, well, it's your call.

But before you start, appreciate that there is a real risk that it will destroy your primary relationship. Decide whether it's worth it. Consider what you have to lose -- socially, financially, and emotionally -- because someone always loses in an extramarital affair.

Barbara Sibbald is a two-time novelist, editor at a leading health journal, and an award-winning freelance journalist. The above is an excerpt from The Book of Love: Guidance in Affairs of the Heart, a novel (General Store Publishing House).

Red Room: Deborah Lindquist: Dressing up for February -- the Love Month!

2012-02-10T15:39:14Z

What makes you blush? A text from your lover, a glance, a touch, a passionate kiss? The excitement, mystery, and romance is all part of falling in love. And Valentine's Day -- indeed all of February -- is for lovers. Here are my ideas for putting love (and the color and symbols of love) into your life this month.

Wear a Shade of Red

From hot, fiery red to the softest, seashell pink, there is a perfect shade of red for you. While your friend with pale skin and jet black hair can wear the darkest shade of red and look goth/fabulous, you may be a green-eyed redhead and will look better in a peachy pink tone.

You know the "Which season are you?" quiz? Are you a winter, spring, summer, or autumn? Not such a bad idea. Picking your right color tones can enhance your already uniquely beautiful self and make you look and feel more confident, approachable, and thereby loveable.

Within these categories are cool, deep, and clear, since you may be a combination of two seasons, but for the sake of simplicity, and also because I don't want to spin your head around in confusion (or mine), here are my suggestions:

Spring: watermelon, salmon, powder pink
Summer: soft pink, raspberry, deep rose
Autumn: salmon pink, peaches and warm reds
Winter: scarlet, burgundy, fuchsia, icy pink

What the Colors Mean

Color has a profound effect on us on all levels: mental, physical, emotional, spiritual. You can convey your heart's desire by the red you choose to wear.

Red is a fiery color and exudes excitement.

Pink is the color of universal love. Wear it to convey an open heart.

Wear coral colors and orange-y reds to spice things up!

So Many Symbols for Love

Pick your favorite "love" symbol and wear it on a colorful accessory.

The cupid, hearts, peace hearts, roses, and Chinese love symbols are a few good choices. Or find your own favorite symbol. There is a symbol of love in any language.

Prepare Yourself for Lots of Kissing

There are times when a kiss hypnotizes you and it's hard to stop. (Hmmm. Not such a terrible thing.) So keep those lips soft, and stain them with an eco lip stain. And wear my Green Queen "1 kiss turns into 100" organic cotton t-shirt printed with kisses to top it all off!

Notice All the Love Around You and Share It

Love is everywhere. In your Valentine, in your children, in your pets, in your friends, in nature. That old saying "Stop and smell the roses" makes a lot of sense. Sometimes we're in such a hurry we don't notice that love is right in front of us.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

As one of American's most sought after environmentally conscious designers, Deborah Lindquist creates exquisite apparel out of a mix of "reincarnated" and new Earth-friendly fabrics, such as cashmere, hemp, and bamboo. Lindquist's avant-garde apparel has been showcased in numerous publications including Elle, In Style, Lucky, WWD, Vibe, People, Brides, and Maxim. You can also catch her one-of-a-kind pieces during episodes of Lifetime's "How to Look Good Naked" and Access Hollywood's "Hollywood Green." She has dressed trendsetters such as Rhianna, Pink, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, Keisha Cole, and Jessica Alba. Check out her designs at deborahlindquist.com and read her blog on Red Room.

Lacroix M. Scott: Brand Expansion Is the Way to Retail Recovery

2012-02-10T15:28:41Z

This past Wednesday, New York Fashion Week kicked-off Fall 2012's projected trends in fashion. This in the midst of the economy entering yet another recessionary period marred by news of January's decline in retail growth. The road to retail recovery is in brand expansion.

As new looks are seen at places like MILK Studios and on the runway at Lincoln Center, fashion houses take calculated risks appealing to their target customer whom they hope will spend thousands of dollars on a single dress. The clothing is often not the bread and butter of the fashion houses but serves as a template for the muted versions of the high concepts seen in shows. The problem lies in the fact that these versions are not sold at full retail price and are heavily discounted months later, hurting the potential profits. For example, the deeply discounted inventory available at the bi-annual Barneys Warehouse sale where early bird shoppers can score a Balenciaga knit top from a previous season marked down 40% from $125.

That's not to say the thousand dollar dresses seen during Fashion Week are not financially justifiable by the costs associated with fabrics, time, and labor going into a single sample presented. But some labels have successfully been able to keep their brand appeal to the established customer and reel in new ones by expanding their markets to cater to lower price points.

How does a designer like Marc Jacobs amass sales revenues close to $1 billion and avoid being a cliché among ready-to-wear patrons and consumers with limited disposable income? Catering to all. With different target markets, (The Marc Jacobs collection that appeals to the career professional that can spend over a thousand dollars on a dress, Marc by Marc Jacobs that caters to the young casual consumer who can spend about $200 on a dress and Little Marc, for children) additional lines in menswear and accessories, plus serving as the creative director for Louis Vuitton since 1997, Marc's involvement in all these segments has not hurt any of his brands' images. It has in fact enhanced his brands' prestige.

Just how does a brand experience financial growth and brand value retention?

Here are two suggestions for the short and long-term:

1. Test your new market by offering limited edition -- seasonal items at lower price points online. Offering a limited edition, low-cost apparel or accessory on-line has the potential to introduce your brand not only to a customer that values the company, but also to tech savvy consumers and those and willing to discover a new brand. The appeal could reach even further if your website is available for m-commerce opportunities, putting you at an advantage with the app savvy.

2. Develop a long-term strategy to target customers early -- just like Marc Jacobs Inc., the variety in the different lines provide stepping stones to brand loyalty. Why not start with a basics diffusion line? Showcase your simple techniques for the mass consumer like the T by Alexander Wang line. Another idea? Add an accessory line. As new and old customers are paring down their wardrobes, accessories tackle the challenge of completing a look at a lower cost.

A recession economy needn't be the demise of fashion brands, as there are certainly more than enough opportunities to get back to black with the brand value intact. These fashion houses should change up the strategy to seek new clientele and new business growth.

Nora Zelevansky: 'Project Runway All Stars' Recap: Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall

2012-02-10T06:13:48Z

Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Episode 6 of Lifetime's "Project Runway All Stars."

Sometimes you can just feel the drama coming. You know what I mean? Like snow, you can almost smell it inching nearer. And this season of "Project Runway All Stars" has been relatively sedate, so I say: BRING. IT. ON.

This week's episode begins with the designers seated companionably around a table at their hotel suite: "When I first got here I thought Kenley was obnoxious and annoying," confesses Mondo. "But I love to push her buttons."

Could it be? Should it be? Dare we imagine this is ... foreshadowing?

On the runway, Angela Lindvall is holding eight "getaway" bags, one for each designer. "Quite the bag lady," quips Jerell, who is fast becoming my favorite talking head.

Michael wishes her next line was, "Pack your bags! We're going to Paris." No such luck. Instead, she lets Mondo pick first because he won the last challenge. He opts for an orange leather tote.

Turns out though that the bags don't matter much. It's the luggage tag inside, bearing the name of a season that will shape this challenge. Two designers are thus assigned to each season and are to compete against each other when creating a look. "Let's make this a fashion face off," suggests Angela, as if the idea was spontaneous and as if a "fashion face off" is really a thing.

One person from each season will be in the bottom and the top in the end. The seasons break down like this:

Spring: Austin & Kara
Winter: Michael & Jerell
Summer: Kenley & Mondo
Fall: Rami & Mila

I feel like the designers are really well matched actually and I'm excited to see what they do. Plus, they're being pitted against each other. Way to manufacture drama producers! Good on you!

Each designer will have $200 and one day to create a sportswear look for a weekend getaway. They don't have to use the bags, but they should know exactly who their "girl" is.

Right away, Kenley admits, "It is intimidating that Mondo just won a challenge and he's my direct competition."

Mila sighs, "I have to go against Rami? Oh no." Her girl is a "New Yorker going to Marfa, Texas for the art festival weekend."

Austin's woman is also a New Yorker, going to her Hamptons house to check on her garden. (I think he means, check on her gardener.)

To Mood!

At Mood, everyone is looking around. Jerell says he is definitely doing a coat. Michael says he wasn't sure what he wanted. More foreshadowing?

Rami says, "My woman is going to spend the weekend wine tasting with her best friend. She wants to be comfortable so I thought of this really cool cardigan kind of look." He's all dignified and mature looking, per usual. Why does he seem 3,000 years older than all of these other people? In a good way, I mean. At least, I think that's what I mean.

Getting Started

Anyway, Jerell jumps straight into the coat because he says it "will require most attention to detail." About Michael, he says, "I think he's a great designer. Let's see what he's got. Let's do this winter, baby." They're pals.

Mondo is not feeling confident about his pants and top, for some reason. He's just not feeling the mojo. Kenley tells Kara, "My girl is like really just light, likes to have fun. She's going to Miami for an art festival."

"The Art Basel," Kara offers.

"Yeah, the Art Basel," Kenley agrees. Ladies, you'll need to drop that "the" if you want to fit in with the cool kids. That's not how they say it. Anyway ...

Mondo complains, "I feel like Kenley is doing the same thing over and over and she has this attitude like, 'I'm doing me. This is me.' But it's a very arrogant attitude. This is a competition. At least try something new." Word up. I totally agree. Let the s--t talking begin!

Michael is having some issues with his high-backed vest. "The fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fabric didn't turn out so good," he says. He throws it in the garbage. Mondo and Michael agree that they are both f----d. [Bleep!]

Says Mondo, "This is like wrestle mania. Well, fashion mania." Totally. Wait. How again?

After the commercial break, the self-loathing continues. "I hate myself right now," says Mondo. He is debating a skirt vs. shorts with Mila.

"A knee-length skirt?" asks Mila.

"Ew!" yelps Mondo. "No, mini."

And here is the moment we've all been waiting for: Jerell looks over at his competitor and he is not pleased. "Lo and behold, Michael is making the same jacket as me," he remarks. "Where'd you get the inspiration for that shape, Michael?" Ruh roh.

"From you. I glanced over and stole the idea from you," says Michael with what sounds like a bit like sarcasm, but, I mean, it also seems to be true. He appears to have stolen Jerell's basic concept for this oversized chunky sweater/cardigan jacket situation. Even the colors are the same.

"I think Michael was feeling lost," says Mila. "He doesn't do sportswear and he doesn't do winter. I don't think it was intentional, but you know what happens."

Jerell is not amused.

Joanna Coles shows up and announces that she's heard about the face off. Really? How surprising!

First, she goes to Kara, who describes her woman as "Palm Beach casual chic, mother of two kids." Really? That's the fashion look she's going for? It just seems strange to me, but whatever. Maybe she's never been to THE Palm Beach. She's thinking high-waisted culottes, which JC thinks are chic.

Austin is also going for a high-waisted number, but he's making khakis and a shirt with "flat origami ruffles." They say the khaki for the pants is very American sportswear, but I think it looks sort of drab potentially.

Mondo's fashion back story is convoluted and confusing, which is maybe worrisome. "Today is my mother's 60th birthday," he explains. "My girl is representing me going to her party." Take a minute to digest that. Hmm.

Okay. Now, we'll resume: He and Kenley are both doing polka dots. JC asks if this bothers him. "She is the polka dot queen," he says. "I am the polka dot princess." To Kenley's amusement, JC dubs it, "The war of the polka dots!"

JC says Mila's pants are a signature. Mila trusts the fashion editor's judgment, saying, "She sees hundreds of thousands of designs, collections throughout the year." I doubt that because she needs to time to eat and sleep. But she does see a lot, I'm sure.

Everyone is getting a bit catty: "Rami's look to me is really hard to look at," says Mila. "I feel like the colors are not right together. It's like too much volume."

JC goes to chat with Michael and Jerell and discovers their disagreement over the similar cardigan jackets. Her solution? "Gather, gather, gather!" she says, like Kate Winslet during an Oscar speech, but perhaps less disingenuously. "We're going to have a team chat, which I like to do at the magazine when tension arises. What do you all think about this?"

Really? That's her conflict management style? There's no way. I have to imagine that this is just more fodder for drumming up drama. If her solution to arguments at Marie Claire is to ask everyone to weigh in and give their take on the fight, how are the editors not warring all the time?

Kenley points out that she tried on Jerell's jacket about five minutes into the challenge. Rami says to Jerell, "The only issue is that we saw yours first." In other words, yes. They all think Michael copied. I mean, he did! We all saw it, whether it was intentional or not.

Afterward, Michael says, "It's bothering me because Jerell is my friend." But he's not changing his design.

In the kitchen area, Michael and Mondo are talking trash. Michael says, "When you're doing good, people just want to hate on you." Mondo agrees. Generally, I like these guys, but I'm a little like, "What?" Delusional much? It seems like Jerell has a right to be pissed.

He walks in while they're talking about him and overhears a bit, it seems. There's uncomfortable silence until Mondo says, "It feels just like dinner at my family's house."

Michael looks down at their plates of pasta. "Spaghetti?" he asks.

"No, awkward," answers Mondo. Uh oh. But you still want to be the girl going to your mother's birthday party?

Jerell says he doesn't want tension and Michael agrees. Jerell suggests that Michael put himself in Jerell's shoes. But Michael is clearly worked up "I got to be accused of plagiarism," he barks. Then he imitates JC using an actual fake English accent, which is brilliant in its absurdity. Apparently, the attempt to quell tensions didn't work so well.

"You can keep your little vest," says Jerell, as Michael gets up to storm out.

"I'm going to wipe my f---ing ass with the vest," answers Michael. Okay, then. You wanted drama. Here it is.

Runway Time

Mila is adding leather to her cape seams. Rami is adding last minute touches from the Neiman Marcus wall. Just the way he says "handbag" makes me think he's not accessorizing well. Jerell is talking s--t to Rami because apparently Mondo is helping Michael accessorize his outfit.

"I see a side of Jerell that I haven't seen before," says Michael. "Really bitch? You want to play like that? We can play like that." You mean, the rational side?

Is anyone a little scared of Michael right now? I dunno. I just feel like Jerell's complaint is valid. He's upset that Jerell is talking behind his back, but didn't Jerell just catch him doing the same thing with Mondo?

Even ever diplomatic Rami gets in on the trash talking action, saying, "I"m looking at Mila's design. I'm seeing bubbling a bit on the cape. It's off balance. I personally prefer my look."

Jerell makes early predictions:

- For fall, he likes Mila's pants, but thinks Rami is going to win for his "amazing" top.
- For spring, he says it looks like "the oldest chick from the 'Golden Girls' [from Austin] or money [from Kara]." (Um. That's Estelle Getty to you and she was actually the youngest of the actresses. Sorry, but I got to defend my girls. Yes, I am a grandma at heart.)
- For summer, he thinks Mondo has got it. "Kenley's is cute, but how many girls are really wearing polka dots like that. Maybe Minnie Mouse?"

Time to find out ...

The Judging

The judges are Georgina Chapman, Isaac Mizrahi and guest judge Cynthia Rowley. Wait, where is the hockey player? No lacrosse jock who interned at Glamour? No puppet?

Anyway, based on the runway show in which the models of the same season come out at the same time, I think Jerell's predictions seem spot on. Austin's outfit is just some kind of preppy floral '80s disaster. Kara's outfit is simple, but has strong pops of color.

For me, Kenley's look is a bit thrift store. And I generally like that kind of thing. But there's just something a little off for me about the too cute light blue romper with white polka dots. It's just too precious. Mondo does his thing, pairing patterns well again, black and white checks and polka dots.

When it comes to Rami and Mila, I can't tell because I can't see the construction. They're both kinda not my thing.

Finally, it's Michael's and Jerell's. I'm just pulling for the latter because I feel like it's more fair. Plus, I like the whole bohemian look he's created. I would wear it.

"Mine is better," says Jerell.

"He made something that looks like Moses would wear it. I made something that looks like Jackie Kennedy would wear it," says Michael.

Snap.

The judges critique begins:

Spring:

Austin's outfit is tailored beautifully, says Isaac. Adds Cynthia, "It's almost so dorky it's cool." And I'm starting to wonder if this is crazy-ville and they're going to like this outfit. "For me, on that girl, it goes a little moderate. She looks like a bore," says Isaac. Phew. I feel bad for Austin when they say, "I wouldn't go out to lunch with that girl" or whatever, but it really isn't working.

Kara's look is approved by Georgina alone: "I like the fabric choices. I wouldn't mind looking like that." Cynthia says, "I just don't see anything original about any of these pieces at all." Tell us how you really feel!

Still, Kara wins.

Summer:

Kenley's romper is a hit. Cynthia says, "I really like this. I think it's really simple and chic." Maybe it's because she hasn't seen the same thing from Kenley every week? But no! Isaac agrees, "I like this too a lot." Georgina warns her about lining up polka dots, but basically they like it.

Mondo's look gets mixed reviews. Cynthia is confused about the accessories recalling different eras. he says his outfit is not flattering. Afterward, backstage Mondo is weeping. He says he is embarrassed because this win was supposed to be a gift for his mother. Tactful Kenley chimes in to comfort him: "Listen, they said they would never have lunch with Austin's girl." She laughs. Austin looks like he wants to throttle her.

Kenley wins.

Fall:

Rami's jacket is beautiful, they think, but has too much draping around the neck. They're not into the shirt underneath though. I have to be honest: Maybe the jacket is pretty and detailed in person, but the whole outfit looks like a nightmare to me. Poor Rami.

Mila gets decent reviews. "I like a cape," says Angela, practically with a yawn. Says Cynthia, "I like the geometry on it."

Mila wins.

Winter:

It's the moment of truth!

Jerell's look is beloved by the judges. "I think the coat is gorgeous. The buttons bother me," says Isaac. Otherwise, they love everything about it. They say it has his tribal, bohemian style, but translated.

But wait! Michael's jacket is also a hit. "The belt is so beautiful. I mean, she's resolved," raves Isaac. Cynthia notes, "It's more of like an ensemble. It's definitely older [than Jerell's]."

And ... Jerell wins! Rightfully so, I think, both because of the drama and because his sweater thingy was beautiful and well-styled.

Deliberation & Decision

There are some good points during deliberaion.

"We have seen this look quite a lot [from Kenley]," says Georgina. Isaac agrees.

Isaac says about Mila's outfit, "I didn't think the fabric looked expensive at all."

That's when Angela apparently can't take it anymore and busts out, "Rami's look just made me kind of ill. Those colors!"

"Have we made our decision?" asks Angela.

"Reluctantly," answers Georgina.

The Winner: It's between Kenley and Jerell and Jerell wins! He wishes Michael good luck as he leaves the runway, which is classy to me. "I'm happy the judges were able to see the real McCoy," he adds.

Going Home: It's between Rami and Austin and Rami gets sent packing. Apparently, those colors were truly distressing.

Part of me also wonders, is it because he wasn't good TV? Because he was too mellow? But in my heart, I know that acid green just really wasn't working.

"Project Runway All Stars" airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. EST on Lifetime.

Arianna Huffington: My Favorite Black Dress: Love Story or Cautionary Tale?

2012-02-10T01:03:03Z

In honor of Fashion Week, I want to revisit one of life's eternal questions: if you have a dress you love, how often can you wear it before reaching an unacceptable number of "repeats"? And, further, what if all these repeat showings were for "important" occasions -- Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve, your sister's wedding, your college reunion, your wedding anniversary -- the kind of events that often warrant a new outfit? Is it a problem if you serially turn up in the same outfit? And is it more problematic still if you post your pictures on Twitter and Facebook, as I do?

For me, this became more than a theoretical question when I fell in love with a very simple Nanette Lepore dress (it's black Italian lace, with a hot pink slip under it, and I have added a wide black patent leather belt).

And, as you can see, I've worn it again and again and again, from the dinner I gave for Bill Maher when he was in New York to Thanksgiving in Los Angeles to the Christmas party at the White House to New Year's Eve, etc., etc., etc.

So, here is a slideshow. Tell me honestly -- is it time to finally retire this dress? And do you have any similar dress obsessions to share? And when you retire something special, do you pass it on to a friend, or hold on to it for sentimental reasons?

P.S.: One more thing in defense of returning again and again to this particular dress: it doesn't crease. You can pack it in your carry-on, take it out, and it's fresh as a daisy.

P.P.S.: Thanks to a perceptive commenter, Scottsdalebubbe, I've changed "pinafore" to "slip" in the text above.

Add your voice to the conversation on Twitter: twitter.com/ariannahuff

Phyllis F. Mitz: What's Your Valentine's Day Horoscope?

2012-02-10T01:00:32Z

Go ahead and ask: "What's your sign?" It's a great way to instantly size up what kind of a lover someone might be! Astrology offers incredible insights into what your partner wants, needs and can give you in love.

In celebration of Valentine's Day, here's a quick Astro-Guide to your Valentine's way of love.

Phyllis F. Mitz, M.A. is an astrologer in private practice. www.AstrologerPhyllis.com Her book, "Astrology's Secrets to Hot Romance: How to Find True Compatibility and the One Who's Right for You" will tell you everything you need to know about how to make the very best of all of your relationships.

For more by Phyllis F. Mitz, click here.

For more horoscopes, click here.

Ask your astrologer about what your bird chart reveals about your love life. (I'd love to be your astrologer.)

Lillian Daniel: Lessons From the Shoe Museum

2012-02-09T22:40:09Z

The Bata Shoe Museum in Toronto bills itself as being "for the curious," and I certainly was. There you can see Shaquille O'Neal's size 20 triple E basketball shoes, and Elton John's platforms as well as Madonna's. (Elton John's had higher heels, but then again, he did less dancing.)

The celebrity shoes paled in comparison to the history section of shoes decorated through the ages, some practical, some beautiful and some downright strange. In the Renaissance, women wore these odd sandals that were also platforms of a very different kind, like a flip flop mounted on a thick and flat metal base, seemingly impossible to walk in, but beautifully engraved. Did anyone get to see those shoes under the long dresses? Did they delight the wearer or cause her bunions? We'll never know.

More disturbing were the shoes made for the bound feet of Chinese women. Once a custom of the wealthy, by the time of the Han dynasty, foot binding had reached the majority of women. Their feet cruelly wrapped since childhood, grown women were left with painful petite pods. Particularly heartbreaking was a pair of tiny farming work boots for bound feet. Some poor woman was out in the fields working in those, hampered and crippled by the fashions of the day, truly bound by forces beyond her control.

I was struck by how long human beings have been torn between practicality and beauty. In some rare cases, they pulled off both, as was the case with a pair of Cherokee moccasins covered in hand sewn glass beads hundreds of years ago. They looked both beautiful and comfortable, something to delight both the wearer and the world. But do we always have to strike that balance? As Marilyn Monroe's bright red stilettos bear witness, sometimes the extremes are what we remember most.

In the end, I hope that the great Artist of the universe, allows my life to include both practicality and beauty, but guards me from ridiculous excess. Unless that particular pair of shoes is on sale, of course.

Julie Spira: Has Sexting Become Mainstream for Young Women?

2012-02-09T21:05:53Z

'Sexting' isn't just for political scandals. Romance publisher Harlequin polled a group of women aged 18 to 40 to see how they felt about the marriage of love and technology. Their findings in their 2012 Romance Report showed that 43% of the women admitted to having engaged in 'sexting.' Taking it a step further, it appears that 'sexting' came with benefits, as 65% of those women will 'sext' only while in a serious relationship. Casual daters came in second at 36%, admitting to sending a risqué message after just a few dates.

How are social networks contributing to the shift in romantic relationships? According to the survey, 52% of the women were using Facebook as a research tool to find out information about a prospective date, but the women weren't happy when their boyfriends weren't untagging and removing photos of ex-girlfriends in their Facebook timeline.

Still, today many women won't even accept a date via text message and some traditional values do still exist, as over half of the respondents felt the pressure to be married or in a committed relationship.

"Cross cultural studies show that the most sought after male traits are kindness, intelligence and resource potential," said relationship expert Dr. Wendy Walsh. A good sense of humor in-real-life still ranks high, with or without technology.

Three out of five dating deal-breakers in the survey did include technology, as women felt that men were too dependent on their mobile phones or were grammatically challenged. In a day where you use spell-check to proof read your resume and professional correspondence, why wouldn't you do the same as it relates to your digital love life?

Dr Walsh said, "Men who are addicted to their smart phones may be too disconnected from real world relationships or may have a tech induced attention-deficit-disorder that could impair kindness and intelligence." She added, "Men who display too many photos of themselves with their ex's on Facebook may be showcasing their prior conquests to indicate that they are a player and out for sex rather than love. It may also indicate a lower intelligence associated with insecurity."

As far as sexting, texting, posting, and tagging goes, remember, we're creating a permanent digital footprint every time we push the send button. At the end of the digital day, when in doubt, don't.

Julie Spira is an online dating and netiquette expert. She's the CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Julie is the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating and The Rules of Netiquette. Follow her @JulieSpira on Twitter and on Facebook.

Kurt Michael Friese: Seduction by Cooking

2012-02-09T20:32:21Z

There are only two human activities that involve all five senses simultaneously. One is eating. The other is sex. Concurrent metaphors abound, lending credence to the suggestion that the two are very closely related. While people can be described as "hot," "steamy," or even "tasty," food can often be called "seductive," "sinful," or "voluptuous." Food, I contend, is the more important of the two. Don't think so? When is the last time you went a week without eating? Perhaps you see my point.

This month brings us the curious demi-holiday called Valentine's Day. This is a sort of commercialized Day of Atonement when we can attempt to wash away the sins of our previous transgressions and endeavor to reaffirm our love for our chosen mates. It gives some a chance to say, "Despite the tiff about the panties hanging on the shower curtain rod, I honestly can't live without you." Meanwhile others can say, "I don't mind that you ignored my existence throughout the entire Super Bowl party, I still love you."

In many restaurants, it is one of the busiest days of the year. If you are one of the unfortunate souls who reads these words on the afternoon of the 14th, then suddenly realizes that you've made no plans for the mandatory culinary seduction of your sweetie, you may as well tuck your tail firmly between your legs and go face the inevitable wrath now. You will not be able to get reservations at any good, romantic restaurant. Should've thought of that 3 weeks ago. But take heart, gentle reader! There is an out, and if you do it right, the one you love will not only be unaware of your lack of planning acumen, but will likely jump into you arms with a passionate purr.

I may be the only restaurant owner who will tell you that if you want to be truly romantic, don't take your date to a restaurant. Stay home, draw the shades, send the kids to mom's, put the cat out, and cook! Don't worry, you can do it. Keep it simple and go for the aphrodisiacs.

For the carnivores, build your menu around rare beef, preferably tenderloin. Bloody meat arouses the passions. Sure, oysters are what everyone thinks of, but where I live we are 900 miles from the nearest ocean and trying to keep things simple. Serve the beef grilled or seared (you'll want an internal temperature of about 125-130 degrees Fahrenheit) with a little salt and black pepper, and garnish this with some slices of avocado splashed with balsamic vinegar. Why avocado, you may ask, is it an aphrodisiac? Well, consider the name. It comes from the ancient Aztec word ahuacuatl, which means "testicle tree."

All you vegetarians have a lot to choose from in the culinary realm of Aphrodite, but I would suggest keeping your entree centered on mushrooms. An interesting thing, the mushroom. The largest organism ever discovered is a mushroom, though many don't know that because they see only the part that we eat. Most of the organism is underground and can spread for miles. The part we eat is merely the reproductive organ. See the connection? Aphrodisiacs are like that. They rarely have any basis in scientific fact, but often have strong backing in historical, aesthetic or metaphorical lore. So, sauté your mushrooms, in butter if you can, with garlic and red wine (both aphrodisiacs as well).

Herbivore and carnivore alike can share two of the most important items to have on the menu, and they actually have some science behind their status as sexual enhancements (the food, that is): red wine and chocolate. Of course, the effects on mood of both of these are legendary. More than that, though, they can actually compliment each other. Get a good Cabernet Sauvignon like the Simi Landslide, or a Zinfandel like the Peachy Canyon and try them with good dark chocolate.

Don't be nervous, you can do this. The best food is simple food anyway. A great chef named Churnonsky once said, "Cuisine is when things taste like themselves." True in love as well -- be yourself, relax, light a candle, serve a meal and pop a cork. It's what your lover really wants.

Courtney Cachet: Catching Up & Sucking It In With Jill Zarin!

2012-02-09T17:48:37Z

As all of New York is a-flutter with the beginning of New York Fashion Week, one of the original New York "housewives," Jill Zarin, is all a-flutter in St. Petersburg, Florida. Yes, St. Petersburg! This is not a typo.

St. Pete is the home of e-tail shopping giant HSN, where everyone who's anyone seems to make an appearance these days. I also worked on air there early in my career, so I understand the frenzy of going on air there for the first time. I loved it, but it's live and it's hectic even for a seasoned TV personality like Jill. Nevertheless, she seemed calm and excited about this new chapter in her life and her brand.

Don't think Ms. Zarin is sitting in her apartment watching the world go by, as if any of us really thought that was an option. No, she is taking her over 25 years of retail experience and parlaying it into her new venture, a shape wear line called Skweez Couture. An unexpected, yet rather savvy move considering it's a fairly wide open market ripe for a little competition. And according to Jill, she's got better price points.

Skweez Couture is available in some major retailers like Lord & Taylor, Macy's, online and now HSN. Jill told me she feels that in order for women to be confident and feel good about themselves they need to start with a good foundation. And we all know a good foundation starts with sucking in the fat!! Yay, Jill! The prices range from $20-$75 in sizes from small through 2XL, which covers everyone across the U.S. I told her my biggest gripe about the shape wear on the market today was that there were those telltale bulge marks that look awful and sometimes, make you look even fatter. Hello, muffin top where there was none?? I was assured by her that this was not the case with Skweez Couture because they were cut differently and the focus was more on the stomach and not on the bands. Whew, I can skip Pilates today!

But, we are not stopping at sucking in the tummy. She has a jewelry line coming this summer, too. Bright, chunky rings and more stylish baubles are on the horizon so keep your eyes and ears peeled. From what I saw, they look like a perfect fit for more visits to HSN, but hey, what do I know?

At the end of the day, it all seems to be about giving her audience products that are high quality and glam but at "everyday woman" pricing and availability. I'm going to give those cute boy shorts a go next time I'm on air and I'll let you know.

Tune in February 10 to catch Jill Zarin's debut on HSN. Visit www.hsn.com for show times!

Mazel Tov, Jill. And remember your features and benefits.

XO
Courtney

Check your local TV listings and international magazines for more of Celeb Designer, Courtney Cachet's style ideas and tips! You can catch her frequent appearances nationwide on TV, where she dishes out all the latest in home and lifestyle! Keep up with her on www.courtneycachet.com or Facebook and join the conversation!

Stefanie Lee: The Roaring Twenties: Treat Yourself

2012-02-09T15:16:20Z

SFTs, have you ever been on a date with yourself? I don't just mean walking alone from BART to your apartment, or waiting at the bar playing Words With Friends while your friend finds a parking spot in the Mission or even going to a coffee shop with your laptop, a bunch of Tweet ideas, and a caffeine craving. I'm talking super-romantic, Carrie Bradshaw-style, out-on-the-town date with yourself. To the dudes: Yes, I just made a Sex and the City reference, but I still think the concept is applicable to both sexes. On that show, the main character (Mrs. Ferris Bueller for the uninitiated) goes out on the town, solo, and has a rather lovely time of it. She gets dressed up, sees a show, and refuses to let a man get in the way of her true love, which is New York City.

Now, I'm not advocating a night of that much decadence; Carrie Bradshaw was a fictional character with a comically exaggerated bank account. SFTs don't necessarily have the funds for high fashion and entertainment, nor do they necessarily give a shit about it. But I still really think there's something to be said for going out by yourself and experiencing the city as a single person. And staying single the whole night, too. Any accepters for this challenge? I sure hope so.

SF Sketchfest's three-week reign over San Francisco afforded me the luxury of a few recent solo dates. Of course, I convinced a handful of friends to see a handful of the shows, but as a comedy nerd, I couldn't expect other FOMO-infected SFT's to have the same level of enthusiasm (nor, again, the willingness to shell out dough) as I did for the nine performances I ended up attending. While it may seem sad to say that I experienced the reunion of Reno: 911!'s Thomas Lennon, Kerri Kenney, and Ben Garant without accompaniment, my party-of-one status got me the closest seat to the stage and several attentive sideways glances from Lt. Dangle himself. He even kissed me on the shoulder a couple of times. (I'm not questioning it.) I was also among an elite group that night; my fellow Cobb's comrades and I saw the original version of the Reno pilot, as well as unaired footage from the trio's State-side comedy days of yore. It was magnificent. I probably wouldn't have gotten that seat had I been there with a group. I walked back to my apartment with a big, stupid grin on my face, taking the steep hills with big bounds, still riding the wave of hilarity and contemplating Niecy Nash's current whereabouts. (No, but seriously, we need more of her.)

All this talk of dates reminded me that Valentine's Day is coming up, SFTs. As a single person, I'm culturally obligated to mask my bitterness by hating on the corporate aspects of the asinine holiday. Right? That sounds right. But as a single person who's also comfortable hanging out by herself once in awhile, I'm quite stoked to know exactly what to get myself for Valentine's Day: another ticket to another comedy show. Laughter is the best present, and I'm a damn good gift-giver. No stress.

SFTs, if you're in a relationship, I hope you have a lovely Valentine's Day. San Francisco is a charming city when you're in a couple. But I hope you join your single city compatriots and spend some time alone, basking in the glory of the city and treating yourself to something you and only you want to do. Just start with a table for one.

MeiMei Fox: The Life Out Loud: Change Starts With Your Underwear

2012-02-09T03:54:46Z

Have you ever thought about where your underwear comes from?

If you're an eco-conscious, socially responsible shopper like me, you probably buy organic dairy and free-range grass-fed meats, as well as earth-friendly dish soaps, detergents, and shampoos. You might also have your fruits and vegetables delivered each week from a local farm. If you're at the far end of the spectrum, you might not purchase leather products. You might even try to stick with (and to) t-shirts, hoodies, and yoga mats made from organic materials.

But underwear, socks, and undershirts? I bet most of us still pick those up at the Gap or Costco.

Unless you know about PACT. I discovered the company two years ago at a party thrown by conscious businessman Chip Conley's Hotel Vitale. As I walked into the bash, a gorgeous woman dressed only in a bikini top and boy shorts handed me a free pair of orange undies.

"That's odd," I thought to myself.

That is, until I got home and tried them on. Not only were the undies sexy, fashionably designed, and comfortable, but also they were, according to the packaging inserts, sustainably made from organic cotton.

The next day, I kid you not, I ordered a dozen pairs of PACT undies to replace my entire current supply. My obsession grew. A few months later, I discovered that PACT had started selling socks, so I replaced my entire sock collection. Then I wrote a fan letter to the founders of PACT telling them how much I think they rock. I got an email back from one of them who agreed to an interview.

What is PACT?

It's the brainchild of 34 year-old Canadian Jeff Denby. Jeff studied mechanical engineering as an undergraduate in Toronto, but realized soon after graduating that his true passion lay in fashion and design. He got an internship at a hot independent design firm in San Francisco that "made everything from forks to furniture."

For the next several years, Jeff traveled to China to visit the manufacturing facilities that the design firm contracted with to have their products made. What he discovered there horrified him. "I can't believe this," he found himself saying time and again.

"Most of us never consider how all those smaller or unbranded everyday products we buy, like can openers and carrot peelers, are made," Jeff explained. "I wouldn't even be able to see across the room in these factories because there was so much silica dust flying through the air. People without masks on worked at grinding wheels with no protection. Plus it would be 100 degrees in there."

Jeff found his inspiration. "We sit in our ivory towers designing beautiful products and this is how they get made," he said. He decided to start a company that maintained sustainable, socially conscious practices from the very start to the finish of the manufacturing process. "I opted for objects like socks and underwear rather than high fashion because it's the stuff that gets used every day that has the biggest real impact on the world."

Furthermore, Jeff saw a clear market need for well-designed, hipster products in this arena. "Everything made from organic cotton looked like some hippie leftover. I thought, 'Why can't you make this stuff cool?'"

When Jeff started his MBA program at UC Berkeley in 2006, he went in as "The Underwear Guy," telling everyone about his plans. Some people dismissed him as weird, whereas others supported his vision. He met his business partner Jason Kibbey. They teamed up with world-renowned designer Yves Behar and started PACT as soon as they graduated.

"We've been working our butts off and eating ramen ever since," Jeff laughed.

Jeff's biggest challenge was to figure out production. Unfortunately, he couldn't make it happen in the U.S., as there is no integrated supply chain for producing organic cotton clothing like underwear and socks. "So I went everywhere looking for a suitable factory: India, China, Peru... Eventually, I found one in Turkey that had expertise in underwear." Their entire supply chain was Global Organic Textiles (GOT) certified, from the agriculture all the way through to production.

But Jeff wasn't content with reading the Turkish factory's literature. He insisted on seeing the entire production process for himself. "They thought I was crazy. But I told them, 'Hey, we're building a brand around sustainability and authenticity, so I want to be sure this is the real deal.'" It turned out that the business owner was obsessed with social responsibility, maintaining optimal working conditions for his employees. And the factory had another advantage: All of the production, including the cotton growing, was regional, taking place within a 100-mile radius. Jeff was pleased and signed on.

I asked Jeff what inspired him. He answered, "We created this brand so we can support and celebrate people who are dedicated to the welfare of the planet and all humankind. I am inspired by the heroic efforts of all the people I meet as I travel who are doing good in the world."

Jeff admits to facing challenges. "It's hard to be a socially-minded, eco-conscious for-profit business because it costs more, plain and simple. Plus you still need to exist in a business climate where not everybody shares your values. Larger companies have systems in place that provide them operational efficiency, and there's no wiggle room for you to change that. For example, all the big retailers we sell to want every item packaged in an individual plastic bag. I ask, 'Can't we just put 50 underwear with the same SKU, same size, same color in one bag?' They say no."

"But the way I look at it," Jeff continued, "it's better to get invited to the party, even if you don't like where the party is being hosted or who is there. Once you have arrived, you can take over the kitchen, invite your friends, and slowly start to change things. You're never going to do that by standing outside the party and peering in on it through the window."

When you crash the party, just don't forget to wear your PACT socks and undies.

Photo courtesy of Jeff Denby.