THE BLOG
05/31/2013 12:34 pm ET Updated Jul 31, 2013

My Breakup Letter to Forever 21

Dear Forever 21,

I have loved you since the day I met you. I met you about 10 years ago, and for a while, I only had eyes for you. For the longest time, you've accepted me for who I am -- a true extra small. Everything you carried -- from tops to dresses -- used to fit me perfectly. But you changed. And it's time for us to part ways.

I knew I finally reached the end of the string when I tried on your extra small shirt this past weekend. I knew something was not right when I looked in the mirror and I looked like I was wearing an oversize T-shirt, sans the pajamas and fluffy slippers. I looked at the tag again. It does say "XS," so what the heck? So I tried on the other stuff I found, and unfortunately, none of them fit. That's when I realized these clothes are meant for someone else.

Was I losing so much weight that I may actually be disappearing? I didn't think so. Did I miss the memo that an extra small in America is now actually a medium? Most likely.

It seems to me that you're trying to make women feel better about themselves. Clearly, you're doing it all wrong. Making the sizes bigger is just creating a whole new problem. If a woman is 250 pounds, there's no way that she's only a size medium at Forever 21. I think it's great that you're making yourself available to women of all shapes and sizes, but you're a hypocrite. If you're going to prefer the slightly bigger-sized women, you should also have the same size models representing your entire store and website. Not just your plus-sized section. Because having a woman my size model the clothes I supposedly should be fitting into is just misleading.

Your friends make me feel the same way: unwanted. Victoria's Secret now carries size extra small panties that I can wrap around my waist twice. If medium-sized people are "small," then where do I fit in? Buying my underwear in the children's department would be a bit embarrassing, don't you think?

My weight has always seesawed between 100 and 105. Other women always tell me, "You're so lucky you're skinny." I am, and I have my genes to thank for that. But I feel like I'm also unlucky. You don't accept me for who I am anymore. I found myself wanting to stuff myself silly just so I could hopefully gain a few pounds and make you happy. So you and I can get along once again. That maybe someday I will fit in your new version of "small." But then again, when I thought more about it, I realized that doing that makes me no better than someone with an eating disorder. We both want to fit in a world where we think we're not accepted. And that's no relationship I want to continue.

I was in denial for a long time. I would still buy your clothes but I'll just go out of my way to make it fit me without looking like I'm wearing a giant trash bag. But I have to accept that you've moved on. And I have to do the same.

Not long ago, I heard that Abercrombie had a falling out with extra large-sized women. I feel their pain. I really do. You and I had a good run. For what it's worth, I really did love you.

xo,
Fernie

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