It's only been a few weeks since I started blogging about my spiritual beliefs. And honestly, one of the overriding fears in regards to writing about my beliefs was the fear of rejection. But rejection wasn't all that I feared it would be. I'm still standing strong, firm in my beliefs. First, I shared an image of God and an angel in the sky, then I told of my trip to Heaven. Yeah, I said it Heaven. And lastly, I shared how I'm really a spiritual girl at heart. Still if it weren't for all the positive words from all those readers who reached out with emails I might have stopped sharing mine and my family's spiritual experiences.
But today, I wish to share a little more. The year was 1996 and an apparition of the Virgin Mary had appeared on the glass window of an office building in Clearwater, Florida. It was a phenomenal sight that drew over 450,000 people. I was married to my first husband and had just given birth to my second son Connor, who was truly an angelic looking child. I'd only just given birth a few weeks ago and in the midst of planning my youngest son's Catholic baptism. Yet, I felt compelled to view this grand iridescent image of the Virgin Mary which stretched 50 feet wide and 35 feet tall.
I remember leaving that scene with a peaceful yet uplifting feeling. And that yes, there's definitely more to life than meets the eye. Now, let's fast forward to our current life where my children have bared witness to their mom stumbled through not one, but two failed marriages. The last divorce was the most difficult as their stepfather abandoned our family during my cancer treatment leaving us penniless.
It was impossible to come back to my former self after going through abuse, illness, and the loss of what I believed to be my soulmate for life. The children's stability suffered both financially and emotionally as they were uprooted ten times in the last few years. All of this left my children angry and confused, especially my middle son, Connor. I guess I'd describe him as a hostile teenager who instead of lashing out retreated within himself.
So, what came next was and still is a surprise to even myself. I wouldn't by any stretch of the imagination say my son is spiritual, even though he was raised a Christian. If anything he's extremely angry with God, blaming him for all of the bad things that have befallen our family. One afternoon, while driving I received a call from Connor, 16 at the time. He wanted to talk. Talk? This child literally despises me for not fixing the mess we are and were in. But here he was, with a serious tone in his voice. He wanted to tell me about the most vivid dream he'd had the night before.
He walked side by side next to Mary. Yes, Mary the mother of Jesus, that Mary. She was cloaked in blue and he was calling her 'mom' as they spoke. Mary spoke gently to Connor letting him know he would be getting help for his teeth. You see, when Connor was a toddler he'd had an accident in his stroller while climbing out of it he'd taken a blow to his face. Unknowingly, there was damage done to his adult teeth still in the gums. The real damage surfaced during Connor's eighth grade year just after his braces came off.
The enamel on his teeth had been weakened by the accident when he was younger and the braces made it worse. So little by little his teeth started to chip away causing him great pain both physically and emotionally. I felt incredible guilt since I was unable to afford the dental help he so needed. We had no money and no insurance since his step father had cancelled the children's health policy right after he walked out on us. But there was Mary assuring him that his teeth were going to be fixed and not to worry.
As they were strolling they spoke of me. Connor said this was so strange because he was calling her 'mom' as they spoke of me, his mother. Mary told him I was to stop praying about my ex, his stepfather in anger. Which was true, amazingly true since I wished him a thousand painful deaths since he'd hurt all of us so, so much. I'm not going to lie! Then Mary went on to tell Connor to tell both Ryan, his older brother and myself to stop playing scratch off lottery cards to change our financial situation. She said "we were putting our faith into the wrong area with gambling."
There is no doubt in my mind that Connor's dream was real. I believe that the other side can and does visit us in our dreams. He isn't the first to have spoken with the Virgin Mary in a dream state. And correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't the bible tell of Mary being visited by the archangel Gabriel, who announced to her that she'd become the Mother of Jesus, by the Holy Spirit. That visit could have been during her slumber. Anyway, the point to my sharing this story was how true the Virgin Mary's words were. Not long after his dream I secured the help I needed to restore Connor's smile to its former glory.
And if you want to know more about our lives, feel free to read my current memoir RAW: One Woman's Journey through Love, Loss, and Cancer. I am still the only parent standing strong, holding out hope that things improve for all of us. Still, I want you to all know that Mary, the mother of God, is our mother, too. You are not alone, and will never be alone. This life is but a test for the next one. And although I don't have all the answers, I am here to offer you hope and the knowledge that the yes, the Blessed Virgin Mary loves each one of us as her very own children.
Oh...Mary, Mary, I'm not sure why people are so wary? But I do welcome each and everyone's thoughts on this blog below.
Fiona Finn, author of Raw: One Woman's Journey Through Love, Loss, and Cancer. And if you follow HIM, you may wish to follow me on Twitter @fionaburkefinn or email me directly on my website- www.fiona-finn.com.