I am temporarily suspending my job as a parent. It has been decided.
It is clear that while I have made the commitment to my children to follow through on parenting throughout their lifetime, that I clearly have other pressing issues I must attend to, and cannot perform both duties simultaneously.
It is in my nature to only bear only one intellectual, emotional and morally stressful dilemma at a time. They will understand and they will survive. Children are resilient.
But, more importantly, I will survive and be a more powerful and popular parent in the end. Imagine what all the other parents will say. They will say I am a leader, a maverick, and brave enough to follow my own unusual path, even though it will be making a mockery of parenting and will hurt my children's entire future.
They will say I am a hero, that my children suffered a loss at a worthwhile cost, and that I am truly a force to be reckoned with. People who oppose my decision will say I am a coward, weak, not up on the important issues of parenthood, and may even accuse me of neglect and abuse of power.
It is true that this new passion and calling I deem is not even one I have been paying much attention to as of late. I have been largely ignoring it in fact, not attending meetings, and even denying it was a huge issue for me and all parents that I know whether they are in my powerful circle or not.
I have even appointed a person to help me in this new process who knows absolutely nothing at all about our issue although she claims she is powerful too because she can see the moon from her house.
It is true I have done absolutely nothing thus far to solve this huge problem that I now must leave my children for. It is also true that many other people have been working tirelessly in this cause and that I think I may take the credit.
And I will.
I will also lie, falsify my whereabouts, be evasive, and pretend I am knowledgeable and care deeply about my new cause. And while I attend to my passion which I had not really thought much about before, I admit that my children will suffer.
They will feel orphaned, neglected, depressed and abandoned. They will be confused, angry, and despondent. They might act out and not wish to speak to me.
But that is what a maverick parent does.
I will do the unsuspected and unpopular thing even if it means my children and their friends may get hurt and never want to talk to me again. It will be for their own damn good.
And, even though I can remember when I held them in my arms for the first time, taught them how to tie their shoes, and swore I would never leave, there are simply more important things than keeping my word.
However, at this point, I can't remember what my "word" was.
I will leave parenting because I will be popular and win. I am a maverick. I am convinced of that.
To hell with honor.
And, as for my children, they will just have to understand.