On July 24, the State of New York begins allowing same-sex couples to marry.
Gay rights advocates in the state are bruised and beaten from years of fighting political and social battles, struggling to bring marriage legislation to a vote. Cultural observers predicted that if the bill ever made it to the congressional floor, it would likely pass. New York, after all, is not Texas or South Carolina or even Colorado. New York City boasts the nation's highest population of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people. Today, the LGBT community is elated.
In closed-door conversations, many of the Christian leaders I know admit this new law could be the decisive defeat in the three-decade old war that began at The Stonewall Inn. They lament a nation that seems to have disregarded the ancient consensus on marriage held by most every major world religion and society since the beginning of time. But their discussions, surprisingly, move toward the future and to the question of "how to remain biblically faithful, yet credible, in a pluralistic, post-Christian culture?" But stating this publicly would signal defeat; so for now, they keep these conversations private.
Maybe they shouldn't.
According to Christianity Today, the effect of the New York law has moved well beyond The Empire State, inducing a "surge in sexuality debates" among religious communities across the nation. Richard Land of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission said, "This is probably the biggest challenge to traditional marriage that we've seen." And many in the Christian community still struggle with how to engage their friends in the LGBT community. Some are confused, unsure of how to react to this new law.
Is it conceivable that as the focus of many Christians narrowed to the political debates surrounding "marriage", that our attention was diverted from assessing the health of our own marriages? Christians need to be having rigorous, civil dialogues about marriage and sexuality that go beyond the issues of same-sex relationships. Shame no longer keeps divorce and infidelity from being commonplace fixtures in American culture. This degradation of marriage is due, not to the 2.8% of those who identify as LGBT in our society, but to the heterosexuals with spoiled marriages and the increasingly popular hook-up culture in the younger generation.
On a distinguished panel addressing the question "What is Marriage?" Dr. Robert George of Princeton University said, "The problem with marriage in our culture isn't same-sex marriage. It lies in heterosexual sexual activity in and outside of marriage."
We must remember that there are many ways to influence and to engage our culture's definitions of marriage and sexuality. Only a small portion of the American population, after all, identifies as gay or lesbian. And while a few states legally recognize same-sex unions, the majority of states have laws defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman.
Followers of Jesus have a great task ahead, and fortunately for us, momentum plays in our favor. The latest Census data points out that over 77% of couples married since 1990 made it to their tenth anniversary. That's an increase from 74% in the 1980s, when divorce rates were at an all-time high. A stunning statistic, considering most divorces in first marriages happen within eight years, and many of us believe the well-publicized line that "over half of all marriages end in divorce." With such a hopeful trend undergirding our efforts, Christians must be poised to lead a discussion not just about the Biblical definition of marriage, but also how to choose a spouse, how to maintain healthy marriages, and how to weather the storms of marriage that every couple must face.
The generation now coming of age is one that has grown up amid sexual tolerance. Purity is often a laughing matter and sexual identity is something with which they are encouraged to experiment. This hook-up culture easily tempts the average youth group adolescent as well. Many young men and women, however, still dream of getting married, but many grew up with little modeling of healthy dating and married relationships.
How can Christians who care deeply about traditional marriage move forward in this new era? By focusing on what we can control--loving our spouses, serving our families, renewing our commitment to help others whose marriages are failing, and by engaging with the youngest generations on what it looks like for them to pursue healthy sexuality. If the recent New York law becomes the impetus for Christians to stop reacting and start leading in these ways, it may be the best thing that's happened to traditional marriage in more than a generation.
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1. How can we move from political conversations to personal discussions about healthy sexuality within our families and friendship circles?
2. What are ways Christians can contribute to a healthy marriage culture?
James Peron: What's Love Got to Do with It? Marriage, Tradition and Gays
Gay Marriage : Pictures, Videos, Breaking News - Huffington Post
Rick Perry: Gay Marriage A States' Rights Issue - Huffington Post
What Does The Bible Actually Say About Gay Marriage? - Huffington Post
Mayor Bloomberg Will Push For Gay Marriage - Huffington Post
Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) Against Civil Rights?
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What Does The Bible Actually Say About Marriage - Huffington Post
Rev. Dr. Janet Edwards: The Bible Supports Same-Gender Marriage
The Rev. Dr. Jacqueline J. Lewis: A Change Has Come: A Clergy's ...
Rev. Winnie Varghese: Full Marriage Equality in New York: A Clergy ...
Carol Howard Merritt: Clergy Support Marriage ... - Huffington Post
http://tinyurl.com/3hbyf6g
1 Nevada: 7.1
2 Arkansas: 6.2
3 Alabama: 5.4
3 Wyoming: 5.4
5 Idaho: 5.3
6 West Virginia: 5.2
6 Kentucky: 5.2
8 Tennessee: 5.1
8 Florida: 5.1
10 Mississippi: 4.9
37 Connecticut: 3.3
39 Rhode Island: 3.2
39 Wisconsin: 3.2
41 Iowa: 3.1
41 Minnesota: 3.1
41 Pennsylvania: 3.1
44 North Dakota: 3
45 Illinois: 2.9
46 Georgia: 2.5
47 Massachusetts: 2.3
http://pewsocialtrends.org/2009/10/15/the-states-of-marriage-and-divorce/
http://www.divorcereform.org/cor.html
http://tinyurl.com/ztpwm
Probably has more to do w/the age of the people marrying. From the list you see that they’re conservative, religious populations. There’s a push for young people marrying as a way to become adults in these states w/little emphasis placed on education, especially for women. This, combined w/pressure toward abstinence, provides a bad mix of sex drive, ignorance, and bad teen decision making.
The lowest rated states are primarily northern w/mixed or liberal leaning populaces which place a higher value on education and don’t primarily support abstinence. Four of the lowest rated also allow SSM. (Georgia seems to be an anomaly; not sure why.)
Here's a list to start:
- better k-12 education
- eliminate abstinence only nonsense
- support programs that encourage people to wait before marrying
- Promote the idea of independent women not subservient ones
http://wsimpson.wordpress.com/2011/07/05/their-intent-to-criminalize-free-speech-in-america/
One thing I have read it that LGBT have always had to turn obstacles into opportunities. We and Artist are experts at rehabbing or gentrifying run down neighborhoods. Manyt of the most Fashionable Neighborhoods in the world were the result of the pioneering efforts of LGBT Folks and Artist. If we can turn bad neighborhoods and real estate around, give us time , maybe we will restore Marriage to a respectable institution with a solid foundation.
DTOM1776
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4 minutes ago (5:01 PM)
Greetings TBJ
You are sadly mistaken.
"Beliefs" in the form of concepts of justice and morality are the basis for EVERY LAW.
Show us the "fact" or "proof" of justice.
Show us the "fact" or "proof" of what is considered allowable behavior, and that which is prohibitedÂ.
Marriage was certainly a relationshÂip created by God. Just because you choose to NOT believe that...doeÂsn't invalidate the truth of it. Cheers :)
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Posting here because this is important.
Pain. Pain is the proof.
I punch you, I cause you mental pain. I threaten you, harass you, I cause you mental pain.
People are people, and people feel pain. Therefore we have laws that punish people for causing others (or ourselves in some cases) pain. How is that not obvious.
Also, your last sentence. You say you're certain because you believe it to be true. That's not certainty, when there is no evidence other than an ancient tome. I feel 10 times dumber from just reading that sentence.
With THAT kind of faux-historical and anti-intellecutal non-factual perspective it is NO wonder you "religious" folks are loosing. You have NO sense of history if you predicate it upon a book of fairy tales.
The hilarious part is that they think that if a majority of people agree on something, then it must be true. There was a time when a majority of Americans thought slavery was ok, but now I think they would be hard pressed to find anyone who agrees with that statement.
We must also, in this time of moral ambiguity around the sexes, stand firm and teach our children the Word of God. Romans 1:18-28. There is grace and there is truth.
Last time I checked morality had nothing to do with nature.
*****
Constantly citing the Bible to justify discriminatory laws has ZERO credibility.
Actually, believing the Bible is a credible "playbook" for contemporary society is just incredible; it's an anthropological document written by a patriarchy that wanted to influence future societies for millenia, therein making the patriarchy immortal.
I have NO issues with it, so long as those who practice it keep their paws off the civil liberties of others, and so long as they don't commit spiritual violence, and that's exactly what a lot of them do.
You don't see me out putting together petition drives to ban organized religion, or to strip churches of their tax-exempt status.
THAT is tolerance. Live and let live.
Marriage as a law didn't even exist until a few hundred years ago. Marriage until then was a contract between the husband and the parents of the bride, more like a commercial transaction with an exchange of property and gifts.
It's also difficult to respect anyone who talks about "purity" outside of a laboratory. First, "the perfect is the enemy of the good." Second, the equation of virginity with innocence and sexual activity with contamination is nothing more than shame hiding its spiritual leprosy under vestments. I've never fully understood Christianity's fear and loathing of the body, but a cult which kneels before a naked dying one erotically nailed to a torture device seems guaranteed to create somatic dis-ease way beyond my ken.
In the 21st century, Christians can best serve their faith by abandoning their religions, which are rigid, hypocritical corporations more interested in profit than charity. Churches pursue political power at the expense of transcendence and are too mired in superstition and dogma to serve real spiritual needs. Spiritual middle men who presume to stand between anyone and God are invariably charlatans, and it's hardly surprising that supporting a church is antithetical to faith.
Christians might ponder the inescapable fact that Christ was a radical who sought to overthrow the oppressive, corrupt religious institutions of his time. Spirituality has never been about coloring inside the lines.
(He's joking. I think.)
Christianity is outdated. It has almost nothing to say about current day issues we face. It was only relevant to the time periods it references, and even then, it is so internally inconsistent as to be useless.
The government has an interest in promoting marriage. Gay and straight.
I also think that the number one cause of divorce is... marriage. A lot of marriages fail simply because those two people don't belong together. Far too many relationships seem to be built on sex and money, or simply the desire to snag a "trophy".
Marriage is a good thing but when its done because of society pressure on when its held together for all the wrong reasons (particularly for religious reasons) its two people living in hell.
Secondly, if evangelicals weren't so consumed by gay-hatred they might recognize that the marriage they consider traditional (though tradition is in fact hardly that simple as the Bible itself, ironically enough, makes clear) has been undermined by female equality and that has come about thanks to the technological advances that have largely eliminated the formerly extremely important role of physical strength in economics. .