LiveBlogging "Kid Nation": Gold Stars and Jews, What?
8:01 This week's episode is titled "Bless Us and Keep Us Safe." That sounds an awful lot like the bible. And the first thing we see is Morgan (12-IN): "Sophia, do you think God put us here for a reason?" Sophia (14-FL): "God, I stopped believing in God a while ago." Oh man, my head already hurts from it getting beaten over with stuff.
8:04: Wait a second, every conversation in town is about religion all of a sudden. It's almost as if someone is manipulating reality. Zach (10-FL) gives someone the finger for insulting the story of Hanukkah. It's World War III up in this barn. If only there was more understanding about the true meaning of Chanukah (making Jewish kids feel less self-conscious about not celebrating Christmas) there probably wouldn't be so much sadness in the world.
804: When the Town Council consults the Olde Timey Journale, they are told that they have to start "feeding their souls." If this is anything like the chicken slaughtering episode of a couple weeks ago, feeding their souls is going to be very messy, and Greg (15-NV) will kill something.
8:09: Divad (11-GA) says that "putting Democrats and Republicans in the room together is like putting Hindus and Christians in the same room." I don't know what that means, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't either. Unless it means that Hindus and Christians differ fundamentally about the appropriation of income taxes and the effectiveness of gun control.
8:12: Alex (9-NV) takes a survey of everyone's religious beliefs. I'm not saying this is how the Nazis got started, but this is how the Nazis got started. He finds that there are three atheists, which seems like a ton of atheists considering the median age for participants is ten. In conducting the survey, Alex also splits the Muslim branch into Shia and Sunni, which, um, no. No, he didn't. Something tells me that these kids are not entirely without adult intervention.
8:15: On second thought, they might be more alone than I'd care to admit. Almost all the kids in this episode have bruises and cuts on their faces. But no one is talking about it. It's like they're all married to the same abusive husband, and the town is made out of staircases and so many opened cupboards. It's their own fault, really, they're just so clumsy!
8:16: Morgan organizes the kids for a prayer group around a fire. It's charming, really. Zach says his prayer in Hebrew. Everyone is hugging and saying stuff to God. Suddenly I feel unmoored, with little to no spiritual connection to the people in my life. Just kidding. God is dead.
8:22: Despite last week's tearful promise to work harder to earn the town's confidence, Taylor (10-GA) reminds us that when you're upper class you don't have to do any work, you can sleep in, and have seltzer fights with 15-year-old boys. Uh oh, I hope her parents packed her Dora the Explorer duffel with a healthy supply of RU-486.
8:25: The showdown. Remember how this episode is about God? Well what better way to celebrate the importance of religion in daily life than a timed challenge involving a life-size puzzle of a church, an elaborate pulley system, and a lot of screaming?
8:27: The blue team is just crushing on this one. It is pointed out that the blue team is filled with nerds, like four-eyed Alex, and the Indian one, so they're really good at puzzles. At the end of the competition, green is back to the laborer class. Yellow is back in the kitchens. Taylor immediately says that as the cooks she's not going to do anything and if everyone starves themselves, too bad? Any self-respecting band of unsupervised children would have murdered her by now, so clearly this is all fake.
8:31: Their choice of town rewards this week is a miniature golf course or A LIBRARY OF HOLY BOOKS? Guess what, you don't need either of these things. Apparently, they have enough medical supplies.
8:32: DK (14-IL) points out that "religious books doesn't sound as fun as an evening of golfing" and that pretty much sums it up. Thousands of years of religious belief versus one night of miniature golf. Not even good miniature golf, either, just a crappy Costco set laid out on a dirt road in the middle of the desert. In what is clearly just a façade put on to please their parents watching at home, they pick the bibles.
8:38: Kelsey (11-PA) sees Anjay (12-TX) praying to a Hindu shrine. She asks him, "What is Muslim?" Awesome question. And before you start defending her with claims that she just made a mistake, earlier in the episode she said, "I know a few things about Jewish." I'm not sure what sorority she's going to be rushing in 7 years from now, but I'm sure they'd be lucky to have her.
8:39: Cody (9-OH) cries while reading a letter he got from his girlfriend, Ashley. He's liked her since third grade, and he's nine now, so that's almost four months. He seriously goes to the saloon to get a root beer to drown the pain. If there's one way that this show has truly been groundbreaking it is in making crystal clear the direct line from indulging in soda to full blown alcoholism. Someone tells Cody that they need to get his mind off of Ashley, and asks him what he'd like to do. Cody says, "Going to look at cows is fun."
8:41: Taylor is not in the kitchen doing her job, because she is doing shots in the saloon. She is the best. She is sitting with Leila (9-NC), who is seriously wearing a coat with leopard fur trim. Everyone comes to yell at Taylor and she just laughs. Love her. She is going to make her husbands so happy until they get fed up and divorce her. I have one word for the ten-year-old boys out there: pre-nup.
8:48: Town Meeting: Taylor gets another ripping from the town, and even host Jonathan Karsh tells her that she either has a very tough skin or she just doesn't listen. She just shrugs and says she doesn't really care. Maybe a pre-nup is not enough. I have a new word for the ten-year-olds out there: vasectomy.
8:53: Cody leaves because he misses his family. No mention of the beloved Ashley. Trouble in paradise? Morgan wins the gold star. The perpetually bottom-ranked green team has won a disproportionate number of gold stars. It's a horrible lesson for the labor class of the world, because no matter how many outhouses you scrub, no one is handing you a surprise check for 20,000 dollars just because you gave that really powerful speech at breakfast about proving to your parents that you could live on your own for a month. If this show was realistic, only people in the upper class would get gold stars, and they would use those gold stars to open sweat shops. I'm against exploitative labor practices, but I would seriously buy sweat shop goods from "Kid Nation."
8:55: After another long day in Bonanza City, with all its ups and downs, Campbell (10-GA) goes to the saloon, and has some shots because he misses his friend Cody. I need a drink.
Next Week: It's election time in Bonanza City. I've got ten wooden nickels on Taylor crying bitter, perfumed tears during her inevitable concession speech.
Loading comments…
Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to
Love your recaps so much more than the show but I will admit to a LOT of derisive laughter during the show.
Maybe the losing team can spend a day with Simon Cowell? Now that's reality TV! :-)
Did we not learn anything from Lord of the Flies?
I'll miss Cody. I was worried when his buddy suggested they go look at cows to help get his mind of his girlfriend. HElloooooo Brokeback Mountain!!!. I was sad to see how sad his friend was to see him go, glad to see Morgan win the gold star. It bugs me to see Town Councilor Mike continue to stymie Greg from getting one. Mike's going to be a hell of a rat-bastard middle manager whose contempt for an underling grows at the same rate of the underling's popularity in the office. Can't wait for the elections.
Mike's going to be a hell of a rat-bastard middle manager "
Yeah, how dare Greg? Hes not going to fool twistedmanagement Mike, whose Peter Principle Trophy is his favorite possession and whose voice lessons came from the Wolf Blitzer Academy.
Will we see an election upset?
Will an atheist be hanged?
Will the "Alcoholism Trainer/Recruiter" be exposed ?
between you and ken levine i am finding it difficult to choose my future husband.
laughed myself silly again, gabe. good job. (ken, you are are my favorite. no really, you are. [gabe...meet me later....])
as someone who uses my remote on wednesdays at 8 p.m. (what, i can't watch "pushing daisies"?) i know that anything i miss on "kid nation" will be summed up perfectly the next day by mr. delahaye.
i think we all need to go down to the saloon and have shots of whatever sweet fizzy crap they are making available to these kids with the very white teeth (taylor, please, get those caps replaced with normal looking ones already! and by the way, girlfriend, you're goin' DOWN next week....)
---
-----
The Nazis didn't take surveys to find the Jews. They didn't have to; it was all done for them. In most western countries but the US (at least back in the day) there was an Established Church (Xian of course) and everyone was taxed to support religion. But to be fair to those who didn't belong to the Official Franchise, you listed your religion on your tax forms so the government could fairly apportion the revenue to the Catholics, the Lutherans, the Jews, etc. So when the Nazis came in, they didn't have to march up and down the street banging on every door to find the Jews; they just went to City Hall, opened the tax rolls, and copied down the names and addresses of every Jew in town. Simple and efficient.
The moment Jonathan Karsh announced the Showdown was related to religion, I was half-expecting him to say "Have you ever heard about the 'Children's Crusade'?"
...which *goes to show* no one really grows up. We are all pretty much the way we were when we were in the sandbox. The jews and the gold star? Now, I did not see any reference in this play to the title, but I know one thing, Ann Coulter has already spoken on this issue, apparently: she has said, *jews need to be perfected*. Yes, and after that they will receive the gold star. Oh, but wait a minute, that can not be right. That happened in the 1940's, in Europe. And Mahmoud Abbas is also praying, to Allah, I think something about the U.S. soldiers in Iraq. He did not grow up either, also still in the sandbox. But, hey, wait, that is only natural, given that he is a sand dwelling person. And he also wants all of it, all of Jerusalem, Judea Samaria, the rest of Israel, or NO DEAL! Of course not, why should he give in, he has a good gig going, and the money keeps coming in, as long as he keeps singing, for him and the other sand cowboys. By the way, is it not time for the U.S. to send the next support payment to our friend, the Maghty Mouse?
Before you go bashing Israel, remember your history--if it wasn't for Israel, we could have be nuked by Libya (the Israeli air force destroyed their nuclear plant). Israel is the only Democratic Nation in the Middle East and they are big on technology research and pharmaceuticals and biogenetics, so let's not dismiss our only ally in the region.
I watch the show just to read your breakdown the next day. Keep up the good work.
cycnical but that what I expect
Just love the argument of reality programming which is almost the equivalent argument about "wrestling is fake" speech
I loved the comment about the church facades, an elaborate pulley sytem and a lot of yelling- isn't that the right wing secret to the megachurch vote? Hilarious. More from this writer!
Scary!
Root beer: the gateway drink.
And somewhere, William Golding is saying
where the f*** are my residuals?????
I think there's going to be a reality show in five years
"I was a Kid Nation Kidnapee"
where all the kids dish on all the abuse ( once they turn 18)
mark my words, Burnett has laid out his cards over the next decade.
No adults? You don't actually believe that.
To start with there has to be at least a half dozen camera crews, most likey with a couple of support staff for each. There are no doubt a couple of production assistants geting each of the children to their interview locations and times. Most likely there is an assistant director feeding a few well-placed questions during the interview session. Judging from the camera angles there is at least one boom camera. There is a construction crew for the challenges. There is at least one production trailer plus trailers for all of the other staff. And the final peice of unreality is the editing. If the direction is to put together a show on religion they have hundreds of hours of raw footage to pull from in any order they wish.
"Reality" shows are a myth. It is staged fantasy with volunteer participants being manipulated. I find them entertaining but I have no illusions about them.
You must be logged in to comment. Log in or connect with
