The Chief Defect of W
Was thinking that he thought he knew
The World without much Studying,
Or reading Stuff. Or asking Things.
Instead of Curiosity,
He banked on Wall Street Pedigree.
At Yale he was heard to boast:
Hell, I'm a Bush. We Bushies coast!
As long as he remained a loser,
Baseball punk and Drug Abuser,
That was only Yale's lament...
Then he became Our President!
Since he could barely squeeze a C
From studies of Economy,
He buried us in Frightful Debt
With no Remorse and less Regret.
So confident was his defiance
Of the Claims of Modern Science
That our melting Polar Caps
Barely crimped his Daily Naps.
He even claimed - 'tis odd but true -
To be a Texan through and through.
Although his Birth Certificate
Says: "Rich Kid From Connecticut."
That should have been a clue right there,
But most of us just didn't care.
In Terror's wake we cut him Slack.
Then...whoops...we woke up in Iraq.
Iraqis, though a Mystery,
Do tend to know their History,
And don't throw Flowers at Invaders
Who remind them of Crusaders.
W - who had not heard -
Let slip the dread 'Crusader' word,
And roadside bombs began to fall.
But George was not disturbed at all.
He strode, he swaggered, smirked and swished,
He boasted: Mission? Accomplished!
He tempted Fate to prove him Wrong.
He cried: Osama, Bring It On!
Osama's friends, with Devilish Glee,
Were more than happy to agree.
Some worried pundits whispered "...oops,
We think, perchance, we need more Troops!"
But to acknowledge Georgie blew it
Would require Georgie knew it.
Knuckle down, not be a Dummy
Sucking up to Dick and Rummy.
Such, alas, was not his Style.
'Twas more fun to Pose and Smile.
Stubborn Facts made not a Dent
Upon our Privileged President.
So when Katrina came to call
Did Georgie notice? Not at all.
The one Great Plan he did supply
Was selling Jersey to Dubai.
At last, the sorry Truth sank in,
The Public grew immune to Spin.
Disillusioned, they Defected...
Too late, since he was Reelected.
Physicians of the Utmost Fame
Were finally called, but when they came,
They answered, as they took their Fees,
"There is no Cure for this Disease.
The State will have to Groan and Wait
At least until Two Thousand Eight."
His mother Babs, (with grain of salt),
Lamented: "This is all my Fault!
I should have spanked him when he drank,
I should have soaped him when he stank.
And as to being President,
Hell, neither son is Competent!"
But heedless of our Desperate Nation
George took another Long Vacation.
To all concerned he answered: Shush!
Don't bug me, Dude! I'm clearing Brush!
So my advice is simple: That's
To save us from such Spoiled Brats
And Lazy Rats, and Drunken Frats...
You'd better vote for Democrats!
(with apologies to Hilaire Belloc)
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown β And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make β even as little as $2 β goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.