THE BLOG
05/24/2010 05:13 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Detour Out of Fear

I once heard a live performance where the band covered the R. Kelly song "What a Relief." Their unique iteration of the song and the lyrics resonated with me on a deep level.
The chorus goes:
"What a relief to know that we are one
What a relief that the war is over
What a relief to know that there's an angel in the sky
What a relief to know that love is still alive"

I was overwhelmed by this performance. As I listened to the lyrics I felt a rush of love come over me and chills pass through my body. For a moment I knew that "we were all one. "I believed that "war was over." I saw the "angel in the sky."

Then, in an instant the singer took me out. He spoke over the music saying, "I love this song but unfortunately R. Kelly's lyrics are far from our reality." I looked around the room and witnessed the audience dramatically separate from this fleeting encounter with love. It was too good to be true. A room full of hopeful people went back to their fearful "reality" the second the singer reminded us of fear. This separation from love is the reason for our unhappiness.

The "reality" the singer spoke of was a reflection of his ego (fearful mind). Somewhere inside of him (and all of us) there is a voice that believes in loving lyrics. Though his fearful ego cannot survive in the light of the song.

This is how all of our minds have become. We've separated from love by choosing fear instead. We have fleeting moments of love, inspiration and truth. Sparks of love may come through a song lyric or an image or in the presence of an infant. We sense love but we don't believe in it. We've saved our faith for fear. Though, deep inside each of us lives a quiet whisper reminding us that love is real.

Dissociation
In coaching sessions and in lecture audiences I'm often asked, "How did I get stuck in these negative patterns? Why am I so afraid of everything?" I respond, "Darlin, you're not alone." Then I break it down much like this: Early in our lives we were taught to deny this inner voice of love (aka ~ing). It all began with one fearful thought. A thought like, "I'm not smart enough" or "Daddy doesn't like me because he left," or "I'm not pretty enough to have friends." With one fearful thought we denied love and thereby separated from our ~ing. This is what the Course calls dissociation, a "decision to forget." We were taught to fear the world through all kinds of circumstances such as home life, school, television and friends. Then by separating from love we gave birth to the ego, the inner voice of fear, creating a dark corner in our mind. This dark corner created two ways of thinking [the ego's and the ~ings] which cannot coexist. Since our initial separation the ego's dark corner of our mind expanded through repetition. Once you have a taste of fear it's hard to release it. Replaying this thought form led us to re-enact this fear in nearly every instant. All it took was one "tiny mad idea" to separate our mind from truth and create the ego's illusion.

The moment we chose the idea that fear was real we chose to separate from our ~ing. The Course refers to this separation as the "detour into fear" and the "decent from magnitude into littleness." For instance, think of innocent children and the ease with which they live. Most children have not undergone the separation yet and therefore live like no one is watching. Fearless children believe in angels and oneness and have faith in love. Then the instant their magnitude of their loving mind detours into fear and through the egos denial of love a delusional "reality" is created.

We were all innocent children who once believed in love. But today we've forgotten love ever existed and chosen fear instead. We fear just about everything. We fear our careers, our relationships, our family, our friends; we even fear the possibility that love could be real. Reconnecting with love for a moment actually freaks us out. Like the audience of hopeful listeners who so quickly detoured into fear the moment R. Kelly's lyrics made remember love. Instead of maintaining a feeling of love they check out with the thought, "it's just a joke cover song."

Though we've forgotten about love it never left us. Our mind just separated from it. Yet the separation was merely a psychological event, in which, through denial and dissociation with our inner guidance (~ing) we chose fear.

The Illusion
The moment we detoured into fear we created the ego. The ego is a wrong-minded attempt to perceive yourself as you wish to be, rather Than as you are. The Course refers to the ego as "quit literally a fearful thought." The ego begins with a tiny mad idea. This mad idea ignites the spark that becomes the fearful fire that burns through our loving mind. The fear of this mad idea denies our truth and snowballs into an illusion that we live out each day. The illusion is a nightmare that has become our "reality."

In one or more areas of life we've all fallen for the ego's mad idea. One fearful thought spread like a virus in our mind and created our illusion. We all think we have "issues" in certain areas of our lives that are specific to us. Though the only "issue" any of us have is fear.

Recognizing our ego's fearful illusion is the first step away from your false reality and back to the way of love. Ask yourself this: What is your illusion?

Remembering
The truthful voice of our ~ing can only comprehend love. But because of the separation love is an after thought and the voice of our ~ing has been muffled by fear. Our ~ing is merely a whisper in the midst of the ego's inner riot. I can safely say that the majority of the world functions from the illusion of the ego rather than the truth of their ~ing though deep in their hear they remember a better way.

Before I restored my mind back to love I had denied my truth completely. I'd turned my back on my ~ing. The ego's illusion got super bad for me but luckily a slight reminder of my ~ing guided me back to truth. Right before I hit bottom I remember experiencing moments were I literally heard my ~ing fight my ego in efforts to restore my mind to truth. Then when I finally hit bottom and surrendered then I was able to hear a voice say, "This behavior isn't you. It's time to come home." This voice came to me one week before I hit bottom. My ~ing was preparing me for my journey inward.

Your ~ing has been preparing you too. How do you think you were guided to this blog? Your ~ing is always guiding you. Sometimes all you need is a gentle nudge towards love that catapults an inner shift. Or in cases like mine the reminders are a little more in your face. I doesn't matter how you remember, but that you remember. Start to pay attention to the loving whisper in your mind. The voice of love is always calling you home. It's time to shine light on the illusion and honor your inner guide. The more you listen to your ~ing the louder the voice will become.

For more on how to rev up your inner guidance system join me in NYC on 6/9 for my lecture entitled "Inner Rockstar."