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Gabrielle Bernstein

Gabrielle Bernstein

Posted: July 14, 2009 02:37 PM

MediDate--Do It Before Your Next Date


It's far too often that I hear New Yorkers complain about dating. Common complaints include: "All the great guys are gay," "I can't afford to date women in New York," or "I don't have time to waste on another mediocre date." These types of mantras are what make dating tough.

It is my firm belief that there are three main blocks keeping New Yorkers from joyful dating. Read on and find out what may be in your way and how you can jump over that hurdle.

  1. The first block is that many people carry their disastrous past dates into the present moment. Holding onto anger from your last date who never called you back inevitably transfers those negative vibes to the next date. This anger is not healthy for you or the dates which follow because it keeps you rooted in your history, not the now.

  2. The second block is a lack of clarity. Unfocused desires bring unfocused results. Without clarifying what you want out of date then you will continue to attract random people who have nothing in common with you.

  3. The final issue blocking New Yorkers from great dates is the achieve-achieve-achieve mentality. To explain, just because you can make things happen in the office doesn't mean you can control your dating life too. Leave your go-out-and-grab-it mentality at your desk and relax into the dating process.

So how can you overcome these dating hurdles?

The answer is MediDating!

Through some mental reconditioning and a little MediDating you'll be guided to simplify and enhance your dating experience. Here's how.

  1. Change your story. Stop replaying past negative dating experiences or projecting nasty self-talk. Start fresh. If you're telling yourself things like, "There are no good guys in this city," "I'm not thin enough," or "Dating in New York is tough" then shift your mantra to, "This city is filled with great people to date," "I'm a great catch," or "This island is the best place to date because there are X amount of single options."
  2. Get clear about what you do want and you'll stop attracting what you don't want. However, getting clear doesn't mean, "He lives downtown in a loft and wears designer suits." Instead, the key to making clarity really work for you is to focus on how you want to feel. Consider these crystal clear feelings and see if they work for you: "I feel listened to, I feel relaxed, I feel like I can be myself." Figure out what is right for you in terms of how you want to feel in a relationship and focus on that positive energy.
  3. With your clean slate and clear desire you can now create a powerful vision of your ideal date. Be unapologetic about how you want to feel and write a dating desire statement. An example desire statement sounds like, "I'm dating a woman who shares my sense of humor. She makes me feel at ease and totally understood. I look forward to our next date and to getting to know her more." Create a clean, concise desire statement and prepare to create it.

I suggest you practice these exercises for the next thirty days. Studies show that in thirty days you can reprogram your brain to new beliefs. By recreating your beliefs around dating you will create a whole new reality.

So now that you've identified the blocks, and we've reviewed ways to remove them, I want to help calm you down with recommendations for MediDation.

MediDate for the next thirty days

Evening MediDation: Begin with an evening MediDation. Sit in your bed for five minutes before you go to sleep. Envision your new story. See yourself on a date with this person you totally dig. Most importantly, let the vision guide you into a positive feeling. Sit in this MediDation for a minimum of five minutes.

Walking MediDation: Take your new story for a walk. As you walk to work, to the gym, or out at night hold the vision of your desired date. Let your mind bring you to the place where you feel the feeling of being with this awesome person and enjoy the sensation. Walk around the streets vibrating this powerful feeling, and you will surely begin attracting.

The Big Night MediDation: Once you attract a great date make sure you have fun with it. To get yourself into a full blown positive vibration for your date use The Big Night MediDation as your guide. Sit in stillness for a minimum of five minutes. Envision exactly how you want the night to go, from the cab to the good night kiss. Breathe in the mantra, "I am relaxed" and breathe out, "I receive." Take this mantra with you on the date and recite all night long.

Release your dating delusions and start MediDating today!

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