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Valentine's Day 2011: 10 Tips for Better Relationships

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Happy Valentine's Day!

I have been providing compatibility readings for over a decade. I listen to couples argue, make up, divorce, re-marry, connect, let go, cry and laugh. During these situations, I find myself drawing on the advice I have collected over the years from various traditions, myths and mystical teachings. Not only have they returned to thank me for these tips, but many couples have asked me to compile these tips into a list.

For Valentine's sake, I decided to share them with you. And yes, I practice what I preach. Just ask my partner of seven years.

To learn more about these tips and the Alchemy of Relationships, please click on the link. It is a downloadable workshop that could be a good gift for your Valentine.

I recommend you read the following tips before you go on your Valentine's date. It could make your evening more magical...

  1. Give your partner what he/she wants before they ask for it. Be a knight, be a lady, be nice!
  2. Balance your relationship! Libra, the sign of relationships is symbolized by the scales. Give as much as you receive, talk as much as you listen, pleasure as much as you enjoy.
  3. Give your partner space. While "location, location, location" is a real estate agent's mantra, "space, space, space" should be yours.
  4. Communicate about everything immediately. Don't wait! The longer you hold something in, the more damage it causes.
  5. Communicate, but not when you are emotionally charged. Most ancient Greek tragedies (emphasis on the tragedy) were woven around the clash between the opposing forces of reason and passion. Both energy fields are needed in a relationship. However, keep the reason for conversations and the passion for the bedroom. Don't mix!
  6. Nevertake your partner for granted! That is the apocalypse of all relationships. Always spend a few moments thanking the Universe, God, your mother-in-law and your good fortune for sending you your loved one.
  7. Relationships evolve. Don't try to avoid change, it's inevitable. According to Taoism, we start our relationships with the Yang, the masculine principle, but if we want the relationship to continue to evolve we must move to the Yin, the feminine principle. Yang is the part when we fall in love, have sex three times a day, and act all cute and childlike. It's super fun, but it can burn us if we don't cool it and move to the Yin principle. Yin symbolizes the feminine energies of family, security, and commitment.
  8. Try to make friends with your partner's friends and have your partner connect to your friends. The Sufis say -- show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. Most important, make sure to establish common friends as a couple.
  9. Do not punish! Forgive them, even if your partner is infuriating and did not wash the dishes, pair up the socks, or check the pockets before washing your lipstick. When you punish the one closest to you, you punish yourself. It's self-destructive.
  10. Always keep an element of surprise. Spontaneity, adventures, breaking the routine and doing things together that you have never done before (camping, traveling to an exotic country, mountain climbing) will generate stories that belong only to the two of you. It's like creating your own mythology. According to Kabbalah, God created the Universe with a story. You can recreate your relationship with these stories.

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